Is it possible for a man and a woman to just be friends without feeling sexually attracted to each other? In the movie, "When Harry Met Sally" the answer was no.
What do you think and why?

Well, I have male friends. I am not attracted to them, and as far as I know they are not attracted to me. Of course it's possible for a male and female to be friends without being sexually attracted to eachother. Just because your friend is of the opposite sex does not mean that there has to be sexual attraction involved. Although, in some cases one could be attracted to the other, and the other not. It depends on who it is.

Do you have male friends you are not attracted to?

I do have male friends and I consider them like brothers.

I believe that this is difficult. I have seen many cases. But they should look good, because lust is fanned by beauty.

I like that: 'lust is fanned by beauty'. I suppose there's a degree of truth in that alright!
I haven't had male friends for a very long time. When i was young, free and single i had loads of them. Some of them were old boyfriends, some were just plain old friends, some were relatives of friends. I loved the different approach that they had to friendship, and always valued their advice. No deep analysis, just a 'tell it like it is' approach.
I think it is possible for men and women to be friends; just so long as both of them accept that friendship is all that's on the menu. And if one or both change their minds at any time, then they can renegotiate like any other type of relationship.

I absolutely adore my male friends! I was friends with my husband for 16 years before we got married. We've been married for over a year, and I'm still in touch with 3 of my past male friends, who live in different cities (so it's just monthly emails, and visits every couple of years). I love my girlfriends, too -- for a whole different set of reasons.

In "When Harry Met Sally", they were attracted to each other, they had sexual chemistry. That chemistry isn't active in every friendship which leads me to believe we can just be friends. I think it depends on the people and their circumstances, too.

That's a good way of putting it!

I have several male friends, always did in school and do now. Hubby has no problem with it, there is nothing going on and never will. I love all my friends and am glad for all of them.

Can you be as open with your male friends as your female ones?

I have great friendships with both my male and female friends. We just act like brothers and sisters. There is no sexual attraction present at all. I find that it does not particularly matter whether they are female or male. If I am comfortable with them, I will generally be more open with them.

I'm more open with my girlfriends when it comes to sex and periods, definitely. I don't want to discuss that with my guy friends (except my hubby, who is remarkably comfortable talking about girly stuff!) -- my guy friends wouldn't be able to relate, and would be uncomfortable. There wouldn't really be any point in talking about the girly stuff with them. I do share my emotions and feelings, though, and they're comfortable and equally open.

Does spousal jealousy come into play when there is a male/female friendship? My husband is not and never was a jealous type of person and he sees nothing wrong with both of us having friends of the opposite sex.

I think, though, if one person is not happy in the marriage then a friendship with a member of the opposite sex could become a bit dangerous. Even if you're not attracted, if you're lonely, upset, depressed and someone offers comfort, there is the possibility of a problem.

You are right.

I am a pretty open person and don't have a problem with that. That is just my personal comfort zone. Different friends I tend to be more open about things than others, depends on personality, not their sex.

I admit I can be jealous when there are other females around. I trust my husband... it's just my own issue. I've always been like that.. even before I knew him.

With us, we have a lot of friends who are couples so it works out well. Then he has his friends which are mostly male, and I have my friends which are mostly female. Most of the friends we have of the opposite sex are couples and we hang out with them as couples. And that works just fine for us. I think friends from the past (before we knew eachother) male or female will always be around and there's no reason to be jealous. But to become friends with a new person of the opposite sex, to both of us is just a little out of the ordinary. I think we would both feel a bit of jealousy if we started hanging out with a new person of the opposite sex. So we both respect how we feel about it and stick with the good friends we already have, and new friends we tend to make friends with couples.

If you mean no sex and lust by friends, with respect to all of opinions, I tell mine as.
Every thing is possible but when two different genders hadn�t any sex attraction to each other, so for which reason they continue their relationship?
Maybe just friendship was the reason and they have common interests, beside high level of education and culture. I accept that for decent people, who follow society dignity, never try for sex but who can guarantee no image of lust happens between them, at least for male?
For family members, this�s normal to be friend, I think.
In my private life, I trust my wife always but she said that: �maybe you think so but I don�t consider it about you�.
She thinks, no man is trustable and I guess she is right! lol
I think my opinion isn�t so far from most of you.
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First of all, I'm happy to find this forum!

Absolutely, people of opposite genders can be just friends. There's some sexual tension (the light and fun kind) with some of my guy friends, and none at all with others. But even if there's some sexual tension, mature adults can acknowledge it and just enjoy good conversation, mutual interests, emotional support.

I don't think men are more prone to cheat or lust-driven than women, at least not this woman. But as a woman, I have found some guys for whom "being friends" means waiting around hoping they'll get lucky. Good riddance.

And yes, sometimes I get jealous (or my husband does) but if it's not justified we just deal with it with humor or 'fess up sheepishly.

I feel it is possible for men and women to be just friends, but it depends on how much time you spend with each other. My husband and i have been married 11 years this march and we began as "just friends". If you are married you have a commitment to your spouse to be there emotionally and physically. I don't feel you can be faithful in body and mind if your mind is constantly comparing your mate to your buddy.

I have had plenty of guys as friends my whole life and didn't date any of the really close ones until my husband. In my husband's case, we became close and it naturally progressed into something else. That doesn't always happen, and was the exception to the rule in my case!

I have a very hard time being around men, i really can't get that close to them but i don't see why there should be a problem for some women it would help i guess if your not sexually attracted to him

The competition between men and women with three types
1-love attarction
2-sex attraction
3-Chemical attraction
The love of a beautiful relationship, if grown turned to the passage of a sexual relationship time.
Messing sex does not lead to love and compatibility other hand, Chemical attraction it leads j for love and sex together>>>

thanks

There is no connection between love and sex there are many friends only love relationship is very successful and live years

From a guy's perspective no and here's why, most of the things you ladies like to do is just lame to us. I can understand why a woman would want to be friends with a man without it being a romantic relationship, for one there is usually less drama but also women can develop a friendship with a person just by spending time with them and enjoying their company. For us guys our friendships are all about activities, the things we do with each other. Even our relationships with women involve a certain activity...sex. So it's technically possible for a man and a woman to be friends but not probable. If you're a woman and you think you have a male "friend" I'd say there's a 99% chance he he is sexually attracted to you and he thinks he has a chance with you.

I have male friends that have been my friends for longer than I have been married. ...to assume that it is not possible is a slap in the face to both genders. I have always thought the very idea was one that some insecure man came up with to control his new wife or young girlfriend(or woman her husband/boyfriend)

Now IF one or some of my male friends have harbored "lustful" thoughts that is their problem..but after all these years I am thinking I would know...

Greetings!

I would have to agree that lust is fanned by beauty.

Any man or woman is in a place of isolation when placed with someone of he opposite sex. God tells us it is not good fo man to BE alone.

1)WHO does the person see when that person is WITH you? Does the man see Jesus first and THEN the woman?

2)Does the woman SEE Jesus first and THEN the see the man?

3)WHO is on the throne of YOUR life?

4)What personal boundaries are in force in your life?

a) Are these boundaries physical?b)emotional?c)spiritual?

5)HOW do each of these boundaries touch the lives of others?

6)Have YOU personally trespassed the boundaries set by others?

7)Have you allowed another to set foot mind heart soul in an already MARITAL territory?

If you are marriage minded then someday you have set on the shelf for a very special person.Likewise WHO is that somone that is set apart for the one that YOU say yu call friend and nothing more?

IF a man or woman is pouring water that was drwan from a well by he and his spouse for some OTHER woman it is as if he feeds the other woman and lets his own wife go thirsting.

Is it an wonder that in Old Testament times the enemy would fill up the well with rocks?

Yet the Judaic Law would EXPECT that the enemy be blessed by leaving food on the borders of the battlefield...NOT destroying the whole of the fruit trees?

Perhaps the fruit that you SEEK is that which has been left on the erameters to feed you a taste of the harmony and truth of LOVE?

be fitly blessed,
aTeeDAZ

What are you trying to say? This has any relation with the thread?

It's not just that men don't want their wives or girlfriends to have male friends, it's that men usually don't want to hang around with a woman unless he thinks he can get something more. As far as the insecurity/jealousy factor I'm sure that women have just as big of a problem, probably more since women tend to be less trusting, with their husbands or boyfriends having female friends. It's not impossible and there are exceptions I'm sure.

I think men and women can be friends. For me the key to keeping things in the place of friendship is the lack of desire to be more than friends.

I have male friends who I can say are attractive but I don't feel any fireworks over them. I have no wish to encourage more than a friendship.

"If you're a woman and you think you have a male "friend" I'd say there's a 99% chance he he is sexually attracted to you and he thinks he has a chance with you."

I disagree with that. My male friends are usually also close friends of my husband's. They are more like family to us.

I will agree that the friendships I have with the guys tend to revolve around activities that we share an interest in.

There are different kinds of male friends:
1. If he is half of a couple (ok)
2. If he was your husband's friend first(ok)
For all practical purposes, you are off limits to him while you are married.

I you are a woman and you have any kind of male friend, and you became single all of a sudden, any man in his right mind would want to make you feel better in any way he could. Therefore, "If you're a woman and you think you have a male "friend" I'd say there's a 99% chance he he is sexually attracted to you and he thinks he has a chance with you." You bet!!!!!!
Even if he's happily married, if he sees you are in pain, he will try to do what he can to make you feel better. And that's when it gets dangerous.

Isn't that funny, that even if someone tells us the truth and we don't want to hear it, we deny it? Ladies, we control this situation, so it's not a problem for us. Just make sure you don't let your man console a woman "friend" without your supervision!

You are so correct. But women are also vulnerable to the advances of men. Right?

What about the fact that everyone has different tastes in looks? Not every single one of your friends is going to fit the description of what you find attractive. So obviously, yes, men and women can be friends without being attracted to eachother.

I have many male friends who I am not attracted to, and I really don't think they are attracted to me because I know their "type" that they like, and I'm NOT that. Plus, currently, most of my male friends I consider family. They are wonderful people, and I love them as people, but there's no physical attraction between us.

I am seriously struggling to see most of my male friends wanting to step in if my husband were not present. I don't have a chatty emotional connection to most of my male friends. They typically fall into one of these categories:

I am older than they are and they see my husband and myself as mentors. They come to us when they need advice or support. I often treat them like I would my own kids. For that matter, I am laughing at the very idea of one of them wanting to take on fathering three kids.

They are friends but our friendship is based on group setting. We have two friends who after years of friendship, I have never been alone with them. The personal things I know about them I know because their wives told me or my husband did.

I have male "friends" who are as another poster said, activity based. Remove said activity and we would likely not have any desire to spend time in the same room much less anything else.

Now, I will give you that I have two male friends who I am more emotionally connected to. One lives several states away so I don't see him rushing out to sweep me away from any life issues. The other is attached to our family as a whole, he enjoys being a part of our family. Would he want to step in if something happened to my husband? Who knows but it would have to be a case of death to bring that on. I do know that he and I have some vastly different personalities that would make a match sorely strained and we lack the spark of attraction.

I agree there. Comments are being made that assume all men would go for any woman.

I don't think all my male friends find me attractive and I certainly am not attracted to them. I know some of them disagree with my choices in life, my beliefs, ect. They might like me well enough as a friend but they would not want to live with a woman like me.

As for seeing a chance for casual sex, if they were ever my friend or my husband's friend, they would respect me more than that. They would know that isn't something I would want or would feel good about.

Yes, you have a very valid point.

Do you think a woman who is not attracted to a male friend nor sees him as good mate material would still be at risk for a sticky situation?

no, I don't think so.

I mean, not unless the guy was disrespectful and was some creep who was blind to see that the woman was not interested...

...but that's a whole other type of situation.. that becomes harrassment.

Unless the guy has some mental disorder, no.

Then I think we can safely say that the comments on women with male friends deluding themselves about the basis of the frienship aren't true. There are too many variables to stuff a man or a woman into a box of set notions.

If I were to find myself attracted to a male friend or suspect he was attracted to me, if I turned to a male friend for emotional support, if the friendship was becoming too intimately intense...I would not have a friendship, I would have a problem.