BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids So much for medical professional

Hi,

I hardly ever write on the forum but when I read what you have written I just had to write in. I recommend that you just find another doctor. That simple. Do not return to the one you have because you do not feel peace with her. Doctor's should not provide opinions on the patient's life style unless it harms the patient.

In life I believe you should listen to that little voice inside of you. This is your Soul speaking to you. You will know it is talking because you will feel it.

Deciding to not have children is one that is made purely from a feeling. I know it is the right decision because I believe the feeling is so strong that it is your Soul speaking to you. It is the truth.

Best. Giselle

That is UNBELIEVABLE. She has NO RIGHT to deny your medicine. Call her office back first thing and tell her to fill your BC and if she doesn't, you are going public. And after she does fill it, tell her exactly why you won't be returning. What an abuse of her position. And by the way, my best friend is 50 (I'm 28). I can't imagine her hearing about this! She and her hubby don't have kids, but they have a wonderful life! Good marriage, spoiled rotten dogs, a comfortable home, fun hobbies and lots of cruises and wine nights!!! Her life is anything but empty. This "doc" sounds like a miserable old b*tch who can't stand the fact that she missed out on being Childfree. Kick her to the curb!

I agree with all of the above posters. My husband and I had children by a conscious choice. Before we made that choice we were scrupulous with birth control. It is a wise woman who refuses to have children that she does not want!

Nobody should have their medication withheld because the doctor doesn't approve of their personal choices. Find another doctor. Report that one, and if you want to spend the energy, make her sorry that she tried to mess with you. Otherwise, just spend your energy having a good life with your husband.

Swearbear ~ I totally agree with all the replies you have received. That so-called-doctor needs to be disciplined severely. Please report her, to prevent her from doing this sort of thing to others. She acted very unprofessional and this is so unacceptable. Who does she think she is???? She MUST learn that she cannot dictate what people do /don't do in regards to having kids. Unbelievable, simlpy unbelievable !!

cp

The fact alone that you were going in fear to your gynecologist every year was more than reason enough to change doctors in the first place. From your post, I might be wrong, I get the impression that you seem to think that in our "child-oriented world" its is normal or even common to be preached even at your doctor's about having children. Well, it it is not. When/if a gynecologist asks "are you trying to conceive?" it is in a professional protocolary way, because it affects other gynecological decisions, not because s/he should show any interest in your private life.

But refusing to give you birth control... Wow. Report this crazy lady to a medical board. Really. She sounds insane.

It almost brings me to tears how grateful I am to have all of your support. I am taking measures to report her to the medical board (for this among other things such as her apathy towards my concern about a change in my cycle...her response was "if you are worried, take a pregnancy test"...and I showed her where the blood pressure cuff left red marks on my arm..to which she said "its just because you are pale"...I have a bruise today where the red marks were) but, Solalux is right, I shouldn't have kept going to her, but, I expected professionalism from her when I told her we don't want children. Thank you all so much for your support.

We are always here for you, and like you, we can see when something is obviously "wrong". So sorry you had to go through this.

I agree with the others - leave her behind and report her. Her opinion is one thing, but denying you birth control for no reason other than her biased opinion is cruel.

I also would like to add that her opinion about your happiness after age 50 is contrary to what research indicates. What I've read repeatedly is women over 50 who never had children tend to be happier than those who had them. The first time I saw this was in "Seasons of a Women's Life," which was a long-term study. I've also seen the same type of data in books written about preparing for menopause.

I was also recently antagonized by someone who claimed to be a therapist that I would be alone and miserable after age 50 if I didn't run out and get impregnated by someone (anyone, according to her!) immediately. I could tell by our earlier conversation that it was about her - she'd had an abortion she regretted earlier in life. She was obviously projecting her own issues and should have known better, considering the profession she claimed. I laughed at her and walked away.

Bassgrrl...your therapist sounds just like my doctor...on our first meeting, my doctor told me she had waited to have children until she was done with her residency, and by that time, she could only have 1 and it turned out to be a girl, so her husband never got the son he wanted...

My husband's aunt is 64 and has never had children..she is the happiest of all of the siblings...I'm glad to see others have seen this, too...I hoped the aunt wasn't a fluke.

Seriously? Are you kidding? Report her a$$ and find another doctor. I'm dead serious she needs to be reported.