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Why Can't People Be More Positive? #723895
11/06/11 03:48 PM
11/06/11 03:48 PM
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DebbieMandel Offline OP
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DebbieMandel  Offline OP
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Sometimes when we plan a new move,a lifestyle change,or spiritual growth, people point and say, "What's gotten into you?!" This can be unnerving since we are looking for validation and cheer leading. However, when this happens to me, I know in my heart that I am on the right track - because I am acting from a point of authenticity which is shocking/frightening to others as I am being a nonconformist daring to learn and try new things. I am removing my mask and unleashing the hidden girl within who is bold, empowered and creative. this is a powerful energy to absorb.

The point is to move forward in a journey by actualizing the self. This means listening to the criticism, the negative comments, and thinking about them. Asking the self, "Is this true? And if so, how can I shore up the weakness or the potential problem?" If the comments mirror the issuer's personal fears and vulnerabilities, then compassion and kindness will empower both parties.

In everything good is something bad and in everything bad is something good.


Debbie Mandel, Stress Mgmnt EdStress Mgmnt Site Stress Mgmnt Forum
Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #724039
11/07/11 11:04 AM
11/07/11 11:04 AM
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Lisa LowCarb Offline
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Dear Debbie -

What a fantastic post! I definitely will take this message to heart, it is wonderful smile

I think it can become easy to listen to others, rather than listening to one's own heart.


Lisa Shea, Low Carb and Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #727288
11/23/11 10:18 PM
11/23/11 10:18 PM
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astrologer V Offline
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Most peole are just folloowing habits they have learned from their upbringing, which, never helped them delvelop indepentdant thinking. When someone of their group, makes an effort to move out of the status quo, they discourage them, it is a threat to their own secuity. If you get an idea to do a certain thing, just relax for a few minutes letting your body respond with its "felt sense", If you began to tighten up in the stomach area, don't do it. If your stomach feels good about the idea, go right ahead and do not hesitate. Your body knows what is good or bad for you. Learn to trust it.

Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #727291
11/23/11 10:50 PM
11/23/11 10:50 PM
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New Jersey, USA
Vannie Offline
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Debbie, sadly, you can't always share your dreams, especially your "I'm moving forward" dreams. I learned to slowly step away from the person or persons who criticize, belittle or refuses to acknowledge my dreams as being relevant.

I champion my friends and anyone who has the desire to grow.

Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #728278
11/30/11 08:07 PM
11/30/11 08:07 PM
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Human beings fear change. It's a fact of life. That's why Moving and Divorce are very high on the list of things that cause stress in our lives. I always relish the moving up of friends or family because I think of it this way, if they can do it so can I and that makes me feel good for them and good for me too. Everyone needs to learn the attitude of gratitude and practice it every day. Then there's no way they can be negative anymore.

Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #734291
12/26/11 09:26 PM
12/26/11 09:26 PM
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Verde Valley, AZ
Jilly Offline
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All of you have so many good points.

And as athena says, humans fear change. It's part of our genes to prefer things to be stable - we want to have our prey herds nearby and plentiful, we want plenty of rain for our crops on fertile soil, and we want travelers to come to our villages during festivals for social and merchant reasons (not to lay waste our homes and steal our children).

And all change IS stress. Postive stress is called Eustress and it has the same effect on the body/mind as negative stress.

With all this said, it makes sense that people have a hard time when someone around them starts with the crazy talk of moving, divorcing and changing jobs. i say this with tongue firmly in cheek, but there is still an element of truth to it.

Sometimes I get people not understanding what I am doing, but I just ask my actual friends to please just cheerlead for me anyway. Some can't and I can choose to spend less time with those.

Last edited by Jilly; 12/26/11 09:27 PM.
Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #734297
12/26/11 09:41 PM
12/26/11 09:41 PM
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Reno, NV
Phyllis Doyle Burns Offline
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Moving forward through adversity or stress is so important. Sometimes when someone causes hurt and pain in my day, I have to sit back, calm myself, and do my best to go forward with what I must. Sometimes, it takes an Angle to step in and help me to calm down, let the hurt and pain reside, then start again.

You are right, Jilly, change causes stress. Major changes cause so much stress and often, people will pick up on that and give their support, or cheer lead for you.

I have received so much love and support the last few weeks of major change for me and it has helped greatly to relieve stress.

Being positive can help tremendously when stress factors are causing major stumbling blocks.

Great subject and thread, Debbie. Thanks!


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #734311
12/26/11 10:19 PM
12/26/11 10:19 PM
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Virginia
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Dianne W - Editor Offline
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Life is all about challenges. I was met with some a year or so ago that brought me to my knees quite often. Honestly I ran a 24/7 pity party for myself, but that has changed and I now chose to be positive, some days are harder then others, but life is about how we handle the roller coasters.

My heart has taken a beating, but it keeps on ticking - that lets me know that I CAN...(fill in the blank with whatever I wish, I wish to be happy)


Dianne Walker

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Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: Dianne W - Editor] #748072
02/25/12 04:15 PM
02/25/12 04:15 PM
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Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
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I know what you mean, Dianne. My heart has taken a beating as well in the past few years. I went through a divorce 2 years ago, a divorce I did not want. Right around that time I met a wonderful and gentle man and I decided to take a chance on him even though the timing was not good. I'm glad I did. He was a kind and giving soul for two years but unfortunately he had bad health. He died from a major heart attack just last month at the age of 49. I miss him terribly. In a lot of ways he was the best man I have ever been blessed to have in my life. Yes, my heart has taken a beating.....

But I am determined to stay positive the best I can. I have a huge undertaking coming up this fall when I will be moving across the country. I am alone here with no family to help me but I will be moving to where I do have family. A dear friend here is not happy I am leaving. She sometimes makes comments to me that I probably won't be happy where I am going, even though I know I will be, at least as happy as I can be after such a big loss in my life. My friend is just being selfish because I won't be close enough to visit her.

It does help when others around you offer support and cheer you on when you are trying something new, especially something life changing, but there will always be those who don't agree and don't want the changes to happen for whatever reasons. Maybe they are projecting their own fear. You need to make your own positive energy and find your own inner strength to persue your goals, and follow your heart to do what you feel is right for you.


Debbie Grejdus
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Re: Why Can't People Be More Positive? [Re: DebbieMandel] #748488
02/28/12 08:16 AM
02/28/12 08:16 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
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Verde Valley, AZ
Jilly Offline
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Cassie, I hate it when beloved people move away from me. Yes, she is being selfish, but it sounds like she loves you and wants to keep you around! I call that a good thing. smile

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