Deanna, they are both terrifying!
But this morning, I had a dream about my dad. He died in April of 2009. In my dream this morning, I was all bummed out about some antique things I had sold that came from his family. Then the phone rang, and I answered it. It was Dad! He was calling from Heaven! He sounded great at first, but then it got weird.
I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was working. I yelled, "Tell me you love me!" and he whispered, "I can't. They might hear." I said, "What do you mean? You can't tell me you love me?" and he said, "It's just weird here. I have to be careful about everything I say, even to men."
I said, "Are you happy?" and he said, "Not really. It's strange." I was getting scared at this point, thinking this didn't sound like Heaven, but then I thought, "It certainly doesn't sound like Hell, either."
And then he appeared, standing in front of me, looking perfect! He looked like he was probably about my age--46, and he was in great shape. He was such a beautiful man when he was young, and he was like that in my dream.
Then I reached out and grabbed him and we just held onto each other so tight--tighter than ever before. I was sooooooo happy!
Then I woke up.

Before he died, I never remember dreaming about Dad. But since he's been gone, I dream about him regularly. At one point, I prayed to stop dreaming about him and his parents, and their home. It was almost every night. I stopped dreaming about them for a while, but now they are back--just not as often. He is usually sweet to me, and we usually hug in my dreams. There wasn't much of that in our relationship. I'm sure that's why I'm having the dreams--trying to work through things we didn't resolve when he was still here.