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Here's the latest article from the Single Life site at BellaOnline.com.

Reasons to Love Being Single
Living in unpredictable times can evoke feelings of loneliness and fear, however, it is possible to thrive and find happiness in being a person alone.


Last edited by Cy_Single_Life; 07/02/09 10:13 PM.

Christyann Anderson
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Hi Christyanne,

The link to your article is:

Reasons To Love Being Single

Great article!

Last edited by Phyllis, NA and Folk; 07/02/09 09:57 PM.

Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Hi Phyllis,

Thanks for the compliment and the link! I haven't figured out how to put them up on the forum yet.



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Cy,

I realized years ago that my journey of self discovery was not possible until I became single again and the time for myself. I have many friends and family members and enjoy being with them. I do, however, treasure my time alone, when I have the space I need to meditate and grow spiritually. Often, when one is involved in a relationship, it is not possible to do this at the right times. Relationships can be wonderful, but, so is single life.



Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Phyllis,

I think you are right. I feel that often we forget how important spending time with ourselves can be. Especially when things are hectic, or we are going through a difficult time. It's easy to loose track of ourselves and the time just slips away.
Moreover, our personal spiritual growth and well-being, when nurtured, makes us better people within our relationships with others.


Christyann Anderson
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I have been single for over a year, and during this time I have grown emotionally. I no longer have to worry about my partner cheating. Or have to endure the ups and downs of a realtionship. After many years of trying the whole "dating scene", I have come to realize it is a waste of time. You leave the situation drained and emotinally scarred. Relationships are great... only when they are heaven sent.


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After years of people telling me how to live and what's right for me, how to do things. I'm learning to live my own life, make my own mistakes. I'm learning what makes me happy, and growing on my own. I am living by myself. understanding who I am. what I am. And I'm really beginning to enjoy my life as I make my own mistakes along the way. I'm finding things that I like to do, I learned a lot over the last a couple of years.

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I'm with you on that Patti. After my husbands death (second marriage), I've decided Im going to live my life the way I want to live it. I love it so far. I can come and go when I please and not have anyone tell me what time to be home or have anyone to argue with. I do miss my husband very much, we had a strong connection but now its about what I want in life, not what others want me to have. I've been thru enough people telling me what to do. I've become more involved in organizations, I quilt and love it, Im condo hunting for a place for ME. Nothing like having freedom and loving it. I wish you the very best. Hope it all works out for you.

Julie

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I can eat crackers and cheese in bed late at night while reading.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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I haven't been on here for a long time. I hope everything works out for you, and wish you the very best also. I may find a guy that would be the right fit for me someday. but it's up to a person to make themselves happy. People sure do get mad when you start putting your foot down, when they're use to running other peoples lives. Of course, they have more issues then you. They don't want to look at their own issues. I'll be trailer hunting, in a couple of months. Good luck with your condo..

Patti

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I don't have to share the blankets because I hog them all in my sleep. ;)

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I'm trying to understand what being single to me is. Being able to not depend on someone for support is a good thing. Independence teaches me how to love myself. I still have a ways to go, but I'm trying. I'm going to college, I own a home, but something seems to be missing, what I'm trying to say is, should I just completely focus on my goals,and work for materialistic things? I feel like I'm in a rat race with a bunch of other people ready to cut each others heads off, then again I could be wrong. But I was thinking about the cars people drive and somehow gaining some type of "social status" by that car. I know I'm competitive, but I really don't like living like that. I mean is this supposed to be some kind of game I'm supposed to enjoy?

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I've been single again for almost four years now and while I miss my late husband I have to admit that I have grown a lot by being on my own. My life is rich. I have plenty of family and friends. I travel solo and love it. I'm dating again. We'll see whether I ever decide to partner up again.

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This 3 day weekend is mine - all mine - and I love it that way. It is a writing/cooking/jewelry making retreat.

When I was married or even dating - I seemed to be the kind of person that will give up "themselves" to make the other person happy.....



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I'm married and I do give in to what everyone else wants most of the time. Sometimes, it is because I don't have a preference in the situation; other times, it is because I want to see the other person happy.

But there are times, like tonight, when I made a decision that he did not like and I stuck to my guns, he was clearly annoyed. Why can't we just respect each other's choices even when we don't agree with them? I'm dog-sitting for a friend and did not want to leave the dog to go to the gym with him. I feel that I took on the responsibility while he feels the dog can be left alone just fine. We're both right but I wanted to do what I wanted to do and now I feel as though I disappointed him. It is not a good feeling.

So there are perks to being single. Not having to compromise over every little decision is one of them!

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I can feel your frustration, I am re-married and share my dog of 9 years with my X wife, my x and I get along fine now. She is re-married like me end everything is OK. My new wife battles with me everytime I get my dog for a few days about 2-3 per month. I will NOT give up my love for my dog for anyone,animals are wonderful and do not make life hard for us. If the cards were turned, I would be fine with her and the dog if it made her happy.At this moment, being single again would be very nice.

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Good for you for sticking to your guns about your dog!


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Mark, it seems that your new wife views your dog as a sentimental remnant of your first marriage.

And when you say you won't give up your love for your dog for anyone, it makes it clear to your new wife that she is second in your life.

This would make any wife very insecure. And yet, I can understand how you feel. I feel for you because it's not an easy situation for any of you.

The solution would be to find a way for your new wife to bond with your dog. She's very immature to take out her insecurities out on an innocent dog, though. Gosh, who can't love a dog? No matter who it belongs to? A dog has room in his heart to love lots of people!

If anything happened between my husband and me, I would not remarry. I can't imagine having to go through all the adjustments with a new partner!

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It dissapoints me that she doesnt get it. she doesnt want me associated with my X but we get along fine and her husband and I get along great. If you have trust everything should be fine.We only talk talk to when it has to do with the dog.

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Originally Posted By: Mark J
If you have trust everything should be fine.


Hmmm. You pinpointed the problem.

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She is from Brazil and they are a little possesive even though she wont admit that.Its not the dog I am sure , it is the X that is connected to the dog. They dont get along for some crazy reason and my X is willing to be nice. The dog has given me more than any human unfortunately but it is what it is.

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She is wasting too much negative energy on this issue and it gives me a clue of what is yet to come.

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shocked

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One reason I love being single is that I do not have to get involved in situations with ex's and currents. smile

Last edited by Phyllis, Native American; 09/17/10 01:59 PM.

Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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I'm 63 yrs old and never been married
Never wanted to be married
From past experiences i'm not missing any thing
I love being single and being my own person.


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You are a strong and independent woman, Rosie. I salute you! irish

Last edited by Phyllis, Native American; 09/17/10 02:32 PM.

Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Thanks Phyllis wink


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Well its no piece of cake being married, I can tell you that !! hang in on being single !! MJ

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Rosie, Independence is a wonderful thing - hats off to you!


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How about being able to get up in the middle of the night to get a glass of milk or juice or something without someone sneaking up behind you when your head is in the refrigerator and saying, "What are you doing?" - and scaring the heck out of you when you are trying to be quiet? Now that is something I do not miss at all.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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I've been single for over 10 years after being married collectively for 36 years. I say collectively because I was married 3 times. Each divorce was needed, and each marriage seemed to promise the storybook life every woman wants. Sadly it didn't turn out that way. I'm happy to say, though, I've come through this with flying colors.

Things that I have found positive about being single.

1. I can have my own friends without them being ridiculed, although I was expected to be hostess with the mostess for his friends. (Hubby #1 & 2)

2. Finances are my own responsibility and I love it. My credit rating has continually climbed since my last divorce. He constantly was over spending, not paying bills on time...what a disaster. (Hubby #3)

3. I no longer have to fear my beloved pets being abused when I'm not home. (Hubby #3)

4. I no longer need to fear being beat by a drunken spouse (Hubby #1,2,&3)

5. I can pursue things that interest me. Example, I went back to college and got my degree last December. When I tried to return to school while married to hubby #3 he faked a heart attack to make me quit.

6. I can try cooking new foods without someone telling me they were going to go to McDonalds if I served them "that garbage"


Funny thing, my boys were never an issue between my first hubby and I. His second wife didn't want them around so I got them 100% of the time. He's now married to his 3rd wife and we are all friends. Believe it or not they come from a different state each year for my grandson's birthday party. It's nice to be friends after all we went through but I don't ever intend to have anyone have control over me again. I'll be retiring in a couple years and will live my life out for MY family.

In all fairness, if my first hubby and I had stayed married I'd probably be ok with it at this point. It would have been 46 years this year. But as life opened up for me, a secure marriage was never in my future. I'm sure there are life lessons I've needed to learn, hopefully I've learned them.


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"5. I can pursue things that interest me. Example, I went back to college and got my degree last December."

Good for you, Granny.

I like the fact that I am independent and can do what I want when I want. Not that I am selfish, I just like living with my own schedules.



Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Haha... isn't it great to eat in bed without someone yelling about the crumbs? =)

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I'm a tidy freak... living alone helps me keep my sanity. Dirty socks on the kitchen counter was enough to make me break out in hives and a cold sweat! Wet towels on the bathroom floor aren't there anymore so the bathroom door now opens all the way. I have nobody to answer to - when I'm going, coming, or simply staying in. There is only my dog to answer to and she never complains as long as she gets her Teddy Bear cookie snacks. -LISTEN- -CAN YOU HEAR IT?- -ITS SILENCE- Ahhh, the peace of living alone. Gotta love that part! The blankets are MINE ALL MINE!! No arguing, tugging or groaning sounds in the middle of the night coming from the other side of the bed when I wrap completely up in the covers. For me, life just seems to WORK better when I am single. I can write, surf message boards, go for long walks, spend hours painting, eat what I want - when I want, go anywhere I want - anytime I want... The toilet paper roll is NEVER empty... And LAST but not LEAST............ THE TOILET SEAT IS ALWAYS DOWN unless I am cleaning it!! Yay-Rah!! Life is GOOD!

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there are lots of reasons to enjoy being single. like being enjoy life as you may go anywhere. But there are also reasons to get married and have kids. You cannot get both worlds.

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I am single now after 3 years relationships ,anyway ,although peole around me are pairs,i have ever envy them ,and sometimes,i have tried dating with guys ,finally ,we were ended after several days contact on net ,we two are busy with work,we are both afraid of being injury ,we are both...there are too much reasons ..,now ,I'm learning what makes me happy, and growing on my own. I am living by myself ,yeah ,Relationships can be wonderful, but, so is single life. enjoy single life ,love yourself .

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:wall:but ,anyway ,i also look forward to meet my better half someday .wish you all happy .

Last edited by necklace; 12/16/10 06:18 AM.
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I can tell you the one thing I love about it is I can do what ever I want in my home such as decor and renovations without having to ask jack to anyone!!


Let my sweet loving dog hop into bed with me without anyone yelling or whining about it.....LOL




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