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How come everyone else knows what's best for us? I would give him a HUGE CHUNK of my mind!

If they won't let you Essure, get your tubes tied. Don't worry so much over the surgery. The anesthesiologist should come into pre-surgery to meet with you. You can have your man there with you. Your original post made me feel as though your fiance worried about you being abused. Maybe I read into it wrong but if not, you are not alone in the surgery room with the Anes. You've got the Anes., the Surg., nurses, techs and other helpers. You are in the best place to be saved if a medical emergency happens, surrounded by highly trained professionals and already on a breathing machine. And I am talking about day surgery centers too. You'll be fine if you go this way.

Thanks for your support. I found out something interesting today...My health insurance doesn't cover the IUD he wants me to consider, but it DOES cover voluntary sterilization!

That is fascinating! I am very glad to hear that sterilization is covered.

I know on one hand that people can quote studies and statistics that "going under" is extremely safe. But I also understand completely that some people simply have personal fears about issues. It is important to accept those fears as valid fears. If someone is petrified of spiders, it doesn't do much good to tell them spiders are generally friendly. They are simply afraid of spiders.

So certainly, if you really want to go that route, do your very best to take every step to help the process be clear, well defined, well documented, and as safe as possible. But if it happens that you simply cannot get through that fear, then it seems valid to go with an option that bypasses the fear factor. People pay tens of thousands of dollars to try to surmount fears like this. It is important to realize your limits and to do the best you can.