BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids CF because of your own childhood

My fiance is only 5'7", but thats tall enough that he can reach most of the shelves that I can't. One of our many household jokes is that I don't actually ask for him to help. I just say, "Honey, would you like to make a donation to the Save The Midget Foundation?" He laughs at the line (and a little at the shortness of me), but but he gets my meaning and jumps up to help. He usually says something like "I love my midget" or "I love my hobbit" when he's finished helping and chuckling.

(With my knee issues, he really doesn't like me climbing on step ladders and the like, even though I've been able to handle that -in small doses- for a few years now. He's a smidge over protective of his gimpy midget.)

I had a good childhood. Just realized kids are not in my cards. I don't make a lot of money, did the marriage thing and that did not work. I was a stepparent for a couple of years and I will never do that again. Being a stepparent and working with kids are great methods of birth control. I was on the fence until recently. My parents are older than most of my peers parents. I did not have any cousins my age, most of them are old enough to be my mother. I think having kids later in life is selfish. I decided if I did not have any by 35, than its not going to happen. I don't want to deal with diapers or any of that stuff in my 40's.

Hi,

I believe I don't want kids because of my childhood.

I came from working class family. We were 2 sisters. My father never helped my mother with anything. My mother had to literary deal with everything - working hard for little money, she had to cook, clean, wash, help us with school - simply everything. I still hear her voice in my head constantly complaining about her life, about us being for her too much, about not having enough money, being tired etc. She was constantly wishing us to be grown up. I also remember her exhausted falling asleep with the light on and us playing around.

I used to hate her for all of that, but I forgived her now, because having kids is a really hard work.

To put myself thru this is one of my biggest fears. I was always looking forward to grow up and to be able to do things about which we, as children, used just to dream or play about. . . I don't want to sacrifice for children. What is then the hard work for? To make money and then spend them on children and family? Pay them for education, after school activities etc. just to make it all end up by having kids and start the circle all over again?

I have a dog and it is already such a big commitment for me. It costs money, you can't sleep till 12:00, stay out for a long time, I have to clean every day, take him for a long walks etc. and it is just a dog!!!

Kids are simply not for me.