BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Not sure I want kids, my husband does

Capybara, about the tokophobia, I know it is listed as a phobia in phobias lists, I just find it to be too different from other phobias to be considered a real one. There are phobias that have no apparent reason, for example you may be terrified of birds or spiders even if you never had a problem with one. Other phobias have an origin, for example you could be terrified of birds because when you were little one pecked at you or cars, because you once had a car crash. In the second case it is easier to understand, but it is still irrational. Chances are, no bird will peck at you again. Most people who drive safely arrive their destination safe.
In your friend's case, her phobia comes from a traumatic experience, that makes it all the "less irrational". But you cannot compare it with other phobias, because if you are pregnant, chances are, well, birth is really going to take place no matter what. And you cannot tell her "visualize yourself giving birth and everything will be better than you think". Actually there is nothing you can say or do. Birth will happen. A C-section is not a phobia treatment.
As far as its being glossed over... We are surrounded by this fantasy that pregnancy is a beautiful natural thing that all women want to experience at least once in their lives, surrounded by women telling you that the day they gave birth to their child was the happiest day in their life, people are showing their ultrasounds and their bellies all over the place... it is only natural that, phobia or not, this physical rejection against the whole thing gets glossed over. People don't want to hear about it no matter how you call it, but if they see such rejection, they want to make it look like a pathology.