Here are a couple responses to recent posts:

Catherine42:
Your posting is chocked full of accusations worded in an attack-mode tone, and therefore both shocked and irritated me. Nevertheless, you make some valid points which deserve response:
1) I agree with you that marriage is sacred and deserves a chance at endurance during both good times and bad, 'till death do us part. However, at some point, if the bad times are so bad that it makes one of the parties feel dead, and parting would bring that person back to life, then is that not worth considering? I am not at the point of the "living-dead" now, but if kids enter the picture, I suspect I will often feel dead. If kids were currently in the picture, I would not even consider breaking up, since that hasn't happened yet, there is an opportunity now to change 2 (or 4) lives for the better--that opportunity should be at least considered and discussed.
I agree with you that parting with my wife would be cruel and selfish. Yet, ignoring my own feelings and future would be likewise cruel--cruel to me, and as others have said here, cruel to the children.
2) You painted a picture of devastation regarding my wife's reaction to splitting up. As I stated in earlier posts, I am very concerned about her reaction and I place high importance on it. I agree with you that she would be hurt (Although she wouldn't "wither away" as if our marriage was her only reason for living). Perhaps the outcome you describe is accurate for some women, but in our situation there are only some similarities. Of course, I cannot fully predict what her reaction would be, so I will consider the extreme outcome you describe as a distinct possibility, albeit not highly probable.
3) You say that I "should have thought about that before you promised your life to her." In earlier posts, I have emphasized how my views have changed over time. However, please let me attempt to further clarify this. When I was in my late teens / early twenties, I definitely wanted to be a father. I adored children and thoroughly enjoyed playing with them as well as teaching them. Further into my twenties when we began dating, I had more information about parenthood--I had learned more about the responsibilities which come with the joys. Around that time and when we become engaged, I was "on the fence," meaning that I was neither crazy about having kids nor opposed to them (I was 50:50, or neutral on the issue). More years passed since then, and with more experience, I now have even more information. My views on parenthood now tell me that the negatives outweight the positives. DOn't get me wrong: I still adore children, admire their energy and happiness, enjoy playing with them and enjoy teaching them. Thus, it is not on a whim that my views have changed, but rather a result of years of experience and insights gathered from others.
Given what I just said in the previous paragraph, this is not as black and white of a mind change as the one you portrayed in your email.
Summary: Thank you for expressing your opinions of disagreement. I would be grateful to engage future discussion with you to hear your point of view. However, I would appreciate it if you would attempt to show some understanding for my point of view rather than striking down all of my thoughts as evil and contemptuous.

Ingilbert:
You wrote: "You seem to have already made a decision for yourself and seem to be playing a martyr, so you don't need our advice. ..."
"I think that you decided long ago that you were going to have a child with her, as you don't want to listen to any of the advice anyone is giving you. You can only say why that advice won't work. I think you somehow want us to validate your decision, and since we aren't, you keep telling us why it's your only choice. Well, you have my blessing. Give your wife the child she wants. Since you've backed yourself into a corner, it really is your only option."
Please know that I cherish and want all advice that I am receiving on this board. Even if my thoughts may be leaning in one direction now, I am open to changing the direction of that lean. I am hungry for others' opinions so I can consider them all. This is not a 5-day decision process for me, so I am not going to march forward with a course of action in that time frame. I need more time than that to digest all of these ideas. Thank you for your patience and continued support.
Furthermore, I am willing to go to counseling with my wife [in addition to the counseling I already do solo] to discuss these issues. However, I question the wisdom of discussing divorce with her now as an option; that discussion in and of itself would likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy (simply talking about divorce as an "option" could very likely lead to divorce, unless it is something which I surely want, that's a dangerous road to go down). Thus, I'm just not sure what is left to discuss: she and I have already discussed in great detail her desire for children and the motivations for that desire; we have also discussed my reservations. I agree that perhaps holding these discussions in the presence of a professional therapist could provide additional insights and help keep the discussion healthy.

All Friends in this thread:
One of the topics that several of you have mentioned or asked me about is my wife's motivations for children. I suspect it is a combination of things: biological instinct, social conditioning (especially from her family), and simply that she enjoys children. When I have asked her about her motivations (on more than 1 occasion), her response makes no mention of the 1st 2 items in that list but rather only the 3rd: she enjoys being with them. She has many years of experience with children of differing ages, and I fully believe that her enjoyment of children is the primary motivation. Although I stated in an prior post that she "adores" the 1st 10 years the most, and especially the 1st 5 years, I believe that she would enjoy parenting during the teenage years as well, even though she recognizes that the challenges increase during those years.
In sum, although many women want children for the wrong reasons, I believe that she wants them for the right reasons: she cares for children, enjoys being with them, and is committed to putting forth the effort during both fun and not-so-fun times to raise them as happy, healthy, members of our society. She would make a fantastic mother.
Although I didn't mention individual names of posters who asked me about my wife's motivations, hopefully this addresses your questions. Thank you for asking!

Sincerely and gratefully,
Confused_Husband