You do have a HUGE dilemma, I am glad to hear however that you are keeping the lines of communication open with your wife. That would compound this to HUGE proportions if she had no idea you were feeling this way.

I can say that when I was younger, I was affraid to have children, didn't want to at all. I later changed my mind and wanted a child and had my one and only child when I was 30. I wanted her badly enough that I had a child knowing I would be on my own. People change how they feel about children, I know I did and it sounds like your wife understands that you might be as well.

One thing I can tell you is if your wife is in her 30s, you still have into her 40s to decide. I only have one child and have thought about having another and am now in my 40s, after having done some research, I am finding its very posible to do if thats what a person wants.