Last Friday I had several panic attacks because I thought I was going blind, a few seconds after going to bed I started seeing something small that was several colors and it was also flashing then it became bigger and bigger and bigger so I got up and it was worst with the lights on so got back to bed and it got worst but finally slowly stopped, I somehow not only managed to not have a panic attack then but also sleep a little, woke up with the two monsters screaming at each others and did not fell back asleep, after 9:00 they left for errands and I got up and talked with a secretary of the eye clinic we go to in Matane, by then I actually was calm but she immediately said oh that can be very serious and we have to see you right away and that was my first panic attack of the day, she hung up to talk to the doctor, waited minutes then called them but they were separated and mom later called me, called back and we managed to get there before 11:15 and thankfully nothing was wrong, he even did a few more tests to help me relax, that was a migraine which I have had but I never got that symptom before. Of course these two being monsters did not made any attempt to calm me, they even were angry because they could not finish their errands plus of course did not even stop pushing my buttons, the people working at Iris though were all nice to me and all of them did everything possible to calm me.
Since then no panic attacks and they both still are monsters getting worst by the day, had waxing done yesterday which gave me a chance to talk with someone normal face to face.
Tomorrow I am restarting again, that last restart was doing well but I dropped everything Friday. I will do things differently though so hopefully that will help me not to give up.
Also I am so fed up with the internet, everywhere we go here there are either crazy leftists or it is news about them or we have the Kardashians or other worthless people right in our face so I will probably soon start a vacation from the internet, anyway my computer is dying on me and I do not want to repair it. I will just start walking again and besides television where I will get the news from Tucker Carlson and watch of course the Dallas Stars (probably will cut that too but at least this is not driving me nuts) I will color, color by numbers, dot to dots, puzzles, sow, and many other things. When I do that I will then get a new computer and go back online in my new place which I have no idea when I will get and where so I could be offline for a long time if I do that before knowing when I will move, I am even thinking of continuing this in my new place even if I am offline for more than a year, this is how fed up I am with being online now!
Well soon I will watch from start to finish a movie I love that has Michael Fassbender so that will be awesome