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Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Angela, Pregnancy Editor] #480375
12/31/08 07:13 PM
12/31/08 07:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 185
Nova Scotia
Kevin - Hockey Offline
Jellyfish
Kevin - Hockey  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 185
Nova Scotia
Yeah, that was my point.


Kevin Thorburn
Ice Hockey
Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Kevin - Hockey] #480443
12/31/08 10:25 PM
12/31/08 10:25 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Chelle - Marriage Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chelle - Marriage Editor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Kevin, it definitely shows that you have grown that you know that what you did at the time was a mistake. And I think it was really great of you to come on here and "fess up" about it as an example. smile

But I think many of us do the "ignore it and it will go away" in life, not only in relationships but everything. I know it is very hard for me to face any kind of confrontation. (Yeah, I know I do it here all the time, LOL) But here on the forums I'm not looking someone in the face. If I have to confront someone either face-to-face or on the phone, I will quite often have a panic attack. It is one reason why my Mom is still capable of reducing me to tears of frustration!

It is hard to hurt someone. That's good, it means we are good and caring people.

But I think of breaking up with someone by facing them as opposed to ignoring them as tending a wound.

The breaking up is going to hurt either way; but if you are hionest and forthright it is like pouring alcohol on the cut - it hurts really bad at first, but it heals cleanly. If a person is just left wondering, then the cut is just left open to fester and become infected - it never really heals.


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Chelle - Marriage Editor] #481554
01/04/09 02:53 AM
01/04/09 02:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
L
leahmullen Offline
BellaOnline Editor
leahmullen  Offline
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Parakeet
L

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
I can think of two times that I argued my way out of a breakup. The person wanted to break up and I didn't. One of them became my husband. LOL. But the other was SO wrong for me. He was a gentleman and tried to break it to me gently. But I argued the point so that the break up took a long time to be finalized. It hurt much worst than if he'd just not called to tell me.

I still think a clean break is fine. I have never done that to anyone, not called to clarify the breakup, but the time that it did happen to me--the guy stopped calling. I look back and say "whew, what a jerk. I'm GLAD he didn't like me.I'm glad I never heard from him again after the last time I spoke to him. I missed a bullet with that one."

I know it's a hard pill to swallow when someone does not call to finalize things, but it's for the best that you cut all ties with someone who would do something like that.


LEAH MULLEN
LIFE COACHING

Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: leahmullen] #485162
01/15/09 03:40 PM
01/15/09 03:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 311
Pittsburgh
D
dmichelle Offline
Shark
dmichelle  Offline
Shark
D

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 311
Pittsburgh
I am trying to break it off...He won't go away. I have already been brutally honest and told him I can never love him the way he deserves, and that my feelings for him are not passionate. He said he's ok with that, he'll take what I can give. He said my love for him will grow with time. I think that's pathetic..another reason he's not for me. Then I tried telling him I am dating other guys, that didn't work either.

I am going to have to ignore him to make him go away. Otherwise I am going to turn mean and heartless. I don't want to do that either.




Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: dmichelle] #485168
01/15/09 03:59 PM
01/15/09 03:59 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Chelle - Marriage Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chelle - Marriage Editor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
That is a totally different situation.

You have already said - "We are done". He just won't let go.
So you go on with your life.

That is not breaking up by ignoring someone. That is following through with the words that you have already said.

Breaking up by ignoring someone is when you never say "it's over", you just never call the person again.


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: AndrewNew] #490256
02/02/09 05:07 AM
02/02/09 05:07 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 158
K
Kristin Davis Offline
Jellyfish
Kristin Davis  Offline
Jellyfish
K

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 158
My boyfriend of 2 years is doing this to me now. I am heartbroken, grieving and in a full state of panic. I think its incredibly cruel and people who do this are just cowards

Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Lisa LowCarb] #862466
04/24/14 04:49 AM
04/24/14 04:49 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
A
Anne_0921 Offline
Newbie
Anne_0921  Offline
Newbie
A

Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
I know that this is a really old thread, but I was wondering... I don't know if this is currently happening to me. Maybe it is and I am just too scared to admit it. Like Kevin's situation, I am in a long distance relationship, and have been for almost a year now. Now he is basically not replying to me for around 2 weeks. Everything was fine when we last talked, so I am really confused, worried, and a bit hurt. Do you think he is breaking up by ignoring me?

Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Lisa LowCarb] #862539
04/24/14 10:34 PM
04/24/14 10:34 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 5
California
D
Danielle - Dating Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Danielle - Dating Editor  Offline
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Newbie
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 5
California
Hi Anne,
I think that with any situation, it is dependent on the situation prior to this happening. How often did you talk? I'm guessing because it was a relationship and it was long distance for a year that it was pretty frequent. Two weeks after frequent communication, especially when you aren't close by to go and confront him. Personally, I think that if he is breaking up with you, you have nothing to lose by asking. Send him an email or another form of communication that you can really take the time to think about what you want to say and it is less pressure for him if that is what he is trying to do. If he is the type of guy that would ignore you to break up with you, then you really are going to have to give him less pressure so he can get up the nerve. I'm sure you want closure and I would too. I can completely understand the worry as well. I would be terrified that something had happened if I couldn't get a hold of someone I had been with for a year.
If you know anyone that he is close to and you are more worried about his safety than the situation, I would contact them if you are still unable to get a response. Feel free to email me if you'd like to talk, vent about it, or ask any more questions!
You can find my contact form at this page:BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!


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Danielle Deovlet

BellaOnline Dating Site Editor
Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Danielle - Dating Editor] #862541
04/24/14 11:46 PM
04/24/14 11:46 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
A
Anne_0921 Offline
Newbie
Anne_0921  Offline
Newbie
A

Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
To start with, I do NOT know how to use UBB codes, and for that, I'm sorry. Yes, I am more worried about him and his safety than the situation. Some people have been comforting me, saying that he might just have a lot of things to do at work.. I recently remembered him telling me that this year would be very busy for him.. maybe the reason I'm worried is because this never happened before? Not kbowing is really scary. And yes, if he really does want to break up, I would want closure. The thing is, before we started our relationship, and even through it, we would talk , hypothetically, about talking to each other if we would want to stop our relationship... I didn't think that he is the kind of guy who would ignore to break up.. a part of me still believes he isn't. My friends told me to give him more time to contant me, like maybe a week more or two, and see what happens, and if he doesn't contact me, it would be time to move on.

Re: Breaking Up by Ignoring Someone [Re: Danielle - Dating Editor] #862542
04/24/14 11:59 PM
04/24/14 11:59 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
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Anne_0921 Offline
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Anne_0921  Offline
Newbie
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
I just typed a long reply. I am not sure i it got sent though. I would like to say thag yes, I DON'T know how to use UBB codes. :( Some people are trying to comfort me and say that he might be busy with work. He did say that this year would be busy for his office, so yeah :-/ maybe that is it. And yes, I am more worried about him and his safety more than the situation itself. And I am also confused. Prior to this, we have been talking almost every day. Then in the last few months, he would have some busy days when he won't be able to message me. It has never been this long though... I am also confused because prior, and even during, our relationship, we agreed that if we would want to break up, we would tell each other. Unfortunately, I don't know his parents or his housmate's contact details. I haven't tried calling him yet on his mobile.. but I am planning to do so.. soon..

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