BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Do Not Complain for 1 Month

It's only 11:30 and all the enchiladas are done, just waiting their turn in the oven. Phew! My husband, daughter and I assembly-lined the process and were finished in half an hour. One hundred and twenty eight enchiladas.

NO complaints over here!

OK I made it to 15 days before complaining, so that isn't too bad! That means I am now on Reboot 17, Day 2. Yesterday was just SO hot, and I knew I was tired and cranky. And then my FTP software wasn't working, and I was worn down and frustrated. So I complained about it. So lesson to self - when it's hot, drink more ice water! And turn on the fan. Life gets so much better Really, the FTP issue wasn't a huge deal. Bob gave me a hand, it got fixed, and life went on!

Fifteen days is pretty darned good, Lisa! I like your preemptive measures. General well-being fortifies us.

A few days ago, I realized that my bank account hadn't been debited for my mother's storage unit in a few months. Autopay was set up. I was sure of it. I panicked because the storage company does not send our invoices or notices. It will just confiscate the contents and auction them. My mother is a minor level hoarder and when I cleaned out her large room, I told her that the excess junk would be in a storage unit so she allowed me to take it.

If she learned her storage unit was gone, she would have a meltdown. Even if, by anyone's standards, the contents were disposable and fairly useless, these were her things and she would throw a fit. At her age and health condition, it could cause a heart attack or stroke!

My head and heart began to pound and I hyperventilated. OH NO NO NO! I wailed and bemoaned my fate! My husband said to call the storage company to be sure (of course) but it was a Sunday and I couldn't do a thing about it until Monday. I hadn't panicked like that in a long time. I needed to lie down. Breathe in and out.

My higher self calmed me down. There was no good in letting my mind and body suffer like this. Stress releases cortisol that damages the brain and body. Reason reminded me that to panic before knowing with certainty was a waste of time and emotion. Plus, it is having a negative effect on my brain!

Then, I was reminded abut visualization to create our desired outcome. So I did. I began to express gratitude for everything, my mother, cleaning out her stuff, the storage unit. Gratitude for knowing about the creative power of our thoughts. I envisioned that the storage unit was up-to-date on payment. I prayed to God for help for this situation.

You'll never guess. I learned that the storage unit was current on payment. It was on autopay but set up on my husband's bank account. Neither of us recalled that. I had set it up on mine.

All that stress for nothing. Or was it? I am reminded of the power of intention, gratitude and prayer. Thank you, God!

Lori -

It is so true that we can "waste" a lot of time - and harm our bodies! - over things that are completely imaginary. I agree that this was an ideal learning lesson, and you were awesome! How inspiring!

Another good example of this occurred last night with my husband. My son had told him something that was conveyed by one of their business partners and it was entirely upsetting. It bothered my husband all night. It was too late to discuss the matter so he had to stew over this. It angered him and disrupted his sleep.

In the morning, he learned that my son did not communicate the information correctly. We had no reason to doubt my son's message so we didn't even consider that this info might not be true.

My son misunderstood. It was unintentional. This is yet another lesson not to leap to judgment. And to confront matters head-on, directly with the people involved, without getting emotional.

In this world of duality, every problem has its solution.

Lori -

Thank you for sharing that example. It is so true - we can get wound up and upset, and damage our health, over things which aren't even real. Think of how much better the night would have been if he slept well! It shows why this practice can be so helpful .

I'm trying to get to the point where I remember that everything has a higher purpose so if something unexpected, unpleasant or even undesirable happens, I can simply breathe in and out and figure out the best way to react or handle the situation without extreme emotion.

It's hard for me as I am an emotional person. For example, my husband says not to get my dogs all excited when we come home but it's so hard for me. They act like they haven't seen me in ten years and they jump and yip so joyfully. But I am happy to see them, too, and it's one big happy reunion! LOL.

Hi Lori, I loved your examples above - it's so true how we leap ahead in our minds, rather than just dealing with what we know in the moment, and how much stress this can cause us. Just dealing with 'what is', the present moment, is so helpful.

I am wondering about your dog example though. Why is it bad for you and your dogs to get excited to see each other? That kind of emotion is a beautiful thing I think.

I agree, Lisa. But dog behaviorists believe that a dog should not get overly excited when owners return, that it should greet you calmly and that's it. I think they should take dog personalities into consideration.

One dog behaviorist we met said he trained his dogs to sit in a "time-out" for 20 minutes when he comes home. That sounds like punishment to me. I must be missing a point here.

I've been thinking about the dogs issue for a number of days now. I go back and forth on it.

First, certainly, I think it's good to show that you care when you reunite with someone. If Bob didn't care at all that I got home, I'd be sad. If he was "annoyed" with me giving him a kiss, I'd be sad. I want that sense that I've been missed.

On the other hand, encouraging a pet to jump all over someone seems to be not necessarily great. If I go into someone's home and their pet is jumping all over me before I can even get to know them, it's off-putting. I think of them as "hyper" - not as "friendly". I'd like a tail wag and a sniff at the hand. Not jumping. So if I had dogs, I wouldn't want them trained to jump all over at a new arrival. I wouldn't want a cacophony of noise.

So maybe there is a balance in there somewhere.