BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Life Coaching How to become good-tempered?

I'm very easy lose temper, and I don't have patience. How to change it?

I'm taking a class on stress management right now, and part of what they talk about is how we train our minds over time in how to deal with stress. The more we do Reaction X, the more our mind gets used to doing that. So if we always snap at someone, we train our mind to snap in anger, and it just does that by default.

So to train our minds to do something else, we have to think about it deliberately for 30 days. We have to "retrain" our mind. Yes, it's hard to retrain a mind . But after 30 days, our mind now has a new way it's used to doing and the new way is now its normal way. So it gets easier and easier as it goes. I.e. it'll be hard at first. But soon it gets easy.

So start with just one day. Just today. Just for today, your task is to be patient. Remember that life is 80 years long (or more) - nothing that happens today is that important. Take long, deep breaths. These help to relax you. If something gets you riled, count to ten. Then, before you answer, think, are you really going to care about this in ten years? This event, whatever it is, probably isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. Think about what IS important to you, like your health.

Let us know how it goes!

This is advice is similar to my Triggers list. I have a list of things I know get me irritated and anxious. When I am experiencing something that I know sets me off, i can stop, think about how to distract myself/do something on my Wellness Plan. That stops the crazy train from getting faster. If I can find new tracks for the train (ie - my brain patterns), I can train myself to avoid Crazy Town.

I'm definitely getting better at this, but it is a LOT of work.

when you feel you have lost control, count 10 numbers before yarn at someone. it is a very usedful way.

Temper can be controlled by meditation and thinking about happy moments all the time. Patience is the habit that can be achieved by self control only. So having the company of humble people and again regular meditation from proper trainer is necessary to improve your image created by such behavior.

I've found that exercise really helps me to feel totally unstressed and it's when I'm stressed out that I tend to get snappish with people.

I do tai chi 3 days a week and Bikram yoga 3 days a week. After working out I just feel this big release of bad energy.

You also have to learn to let things go on a minute by minute basis. Forgive people on a daily basis.

Catherine Ponder says if people bother you in any way it's because they are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing so just bless them and move on.

I realize growing older sure helps a lot! I'm not nearly as annoyed by things now as I was years ago.

Joan -

I agree completely that daily exercise can make an immense difference in stress levels!

These are great tips! Claire, counting to 10 helps you to gain perspective. Jessica, according to experts, meditation is one of the best stress relievers there is!

Being good tempered takes a loads of practice. As Lisa and Jilly pointed out, you have to know your triggers and retrain yourself.

And exercise helps with just about EVERYTHING as Joan541 pointed out. When you perform even low impact exercise like walking, your body produces Serotonin, the brain chemical responsible for feelings of well being.

But remember we are all human, so if you do lose your cool and say something that is less than nice, immediately apologize and try to do better the next time.

when i am going to lose temper,i'll choose to do other things,or just go out for a walk until i calm down.