Good morning Beautiful Tragedy, I am so glad that you wrote today! I am so sorry that you are going through all that mess right now, but I can tell you from my own personal experience, your life doesnt have to be that way! There is hope, you can have a life without fear, a life of freedom, and peace.
you probably feel bad about the thought of leaving him because he has made you to feel that you are responsible for his feelings. Does he care about how he makes you feel? If he did, he would not treat you this way. My ex-husband would tell me the same kind of things, that he would kill himself if I left him etc... but he almost killed me because I stayed. Do you value his life or your own life more? He is a grown man and can find a place to stay. Or if he will not leave, you can go to a shelter- there are lots of resources out there. I wish you the best of luck. I pray that you will find the freedom and joy that I have found. God bless you beautiful. And remember, you dont have to be a tragedy, you can just be beautiful! :)