BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Co-worker, Peer, Mother

It seems to me that when someone has a strong reaction to another individual's life choices that it's really about them. She may not be 100% comfortable with the choices she's made and is trying to validate them by somehow convincing you that you're wrong. That, or she's an idiot!

People who are comfortable with their choices don't do this. They may be curious about you and your reasoning for what you do, but they don't have an emotional reaction. After all, is there any reason they should have an emotional reaction?

It's downright obnoxious to antagonize someone over their level of interest (or lack thereof) in sex. Heck, part of me is jealous, as I was too interested for many years. It can be highly distracting and can hinder good decision making. If you're happy without it, more power to you!

Exactly. Why get emotional over someone else's choices? It is their life to live as they choose. Something is not right with the antagonist in this story.

Having kids, just like having sex and so many other things, are all CHOICES, not requirements. And I always feel that people who try to convince me otherwise are just voicing their own insecurities. In the past plenty of people had kids to gain acceptance from their parents, family, etc... Thankfully we live in the 21st century, where every individual decides how he/she wants to live their life. This relates to procreation, sex, dieting and just about everything else!

wow i should have kept a better eye on this thread! i mean i didn't expect such a strong reaction to my anti�sex statement. in all honesty this same co�worker and i have rammed heads together over the same issue since this post. tonight even, she had to carry her daughter to the hospital, or so she claimed. I just couldn't buy it for some reason. It's not that i am heartless but who is going to refute that? no one naturally, no one in their right minds would think a mother would lie about such a thing.
yet i am left with serious doubts, firstly the phone at work never rang when i arrived, secondly the her brother, aunt, grandmother, and 2 of her cousins came in buying copious amounts of alcohol. lets not for get the very important part, when asked how her daughter was doing the response was, "what's wrong with her?" for a girl who claims to have a very close family all her relatives were very much ignorant of the situation.
i dunno it all left me feeling a little less sympathetic to her. it's easy enough to lie about those things because no one would dare to question it. my own mother has been hospitalized twice while i was working yet i was refused my request to leave work to be with her.
it just felt like she got preferential treatment because she is a mother. i will admit that it could be she had to carry her to the hospital, but it just left me feeling funny after speaking with her relatives.
either was setting aside tonight i lied and said my tubes were tied. i said i had to go all the way to jersey to find a surgeon to do it for me. since then they've stopped pestering me about it, i think she finally got the message that i don't want kids. it was a life saver, but i hated having to lie. why couldn't i just be accepted how i am? why is it s0 hard for people to accept the differences that make us so colorful and rich as a society? i'll never get it.

I think it's pretty disturbing that you had to lie and tell her that you are physiologically no longer capable of conceiving for her to get off your back. To me that is not right...

I agree i never condone lying like that, but it got to a point where it was either me slamming her head into the microwave or lie about something she couldn't get around. So far it's worked but now i just listen to her baby troubles. I said to a childfree customer, "i love having my time to read a good book" we recommendex each other books and she jumped in and started talking abouy the joys of motherhood and how we would change our minds. So it hasnt stopped entirely but enough thay i can handle it, the naghing was getting to me.