BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Love husband, HATE marriage

wow, catluvgal, have just read your post, and I identify with everything you've said. It kind of took me aback !

My hubby does the cooking ( it's easier than him moaning that he doesn't want what I would eat - mmm steamed veg and grilled fish ) although he does do nice food, he too has to have us eating a 'proper meal' every day, hence I am now 11 stone instead of my usual 9 1/2. he too is very needy, and wants to do most things together, etc.

AND I too miss the dating thing - although for me it's nearly 18 yrs ago. we were out the other day, and I saw a really handsome bloke, and wondered how my life would have been if I hadn't stayed married so long. I too miss my male friends ( we now live in greece, so don't get to see them much ) although some come out to see us with their wives. they ring to chat a few times a year, and as my hubby normally says . he's YOUR friend , not mine )

It's true some days are not so good, but if at the heart of it you love your husband, then I don't think you can expect any more. I've long come to the conclusion life is far from perfect, and if you are reasonably happy a lot of the time, then that should be cause for huge celebration - especially knowing how many people are incredibly unhappy most of the time...:( A sad state of affairs ? no. just life .

I enjoy many things about being married. but it does have it's downfalls. And I know if we'd had kids I would be divorced, because our ideas on raising kids are poles apart. - it's bad enough with the cat !

So I won't give the 'why not try this', or 'do that' speech, and will just nod my head and say, - Yes girl, I hear ya. x

Well they do say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "familiarity breeds contempt". Aside from scheduling some dates for the two of you, it also sounds like you need to schedule some time apart. I've been married almost 30 years and I know my husband doesn't understand how much I like my ME time. I've been lucky in that I've gotten some time apart, not because we've scheduled it, but because he's had other things in his life -- either he's worked late, or been running baseball practice, or a Scout meeting. I desperately need that time apart and while my life is very different from yours, I can relate to feeling like your guy is needy and what you NEED is space.

That being said, I don't know enough about your lives to figure out what adjustments to make. But you should make some adjustments to your schedule. In terms of the weight gain, how many meals together do you eat? Also, "honey, I'm gaining weight, so I think I'm going out for a run (or to the gym) or even a walk" will get you out of the house and be more understandable to him than "this place (and possibly you) are driving me crazy"

As I typed this, my husband came grumbling out that he had been unable to go back to sleep since my alarm went off and WHY exactly did I have it set so early? ha ha -- marriage (just living with someone) isn't easy, that's for sure. You just have to focus on what you like about the arrangement and try to shrug off what you don't like, BUT it helps to have a break from what you don't like.