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Hi guys, very big forums you have got :) I feel, people who are confident of doing a thing (say public speaking), often maynot have confidence in some other area. The point is, self confidence can be situational and experience based. Once we understand that, we will stop carrying us around saying "i lack self confidence" and instead look out for opportunity to exhibit our confidence to whatever degree we feel comfortable. When we do certain things repeatedly (after the initial inertia) we will gain experience and that is the fuel for self confidence. If you think you lack S.C, then you have the fear of failure and rejection. It has rubbed you from negative people so just make sure you stay with positive minded for some time and you will get that fear go away.

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Originally Posted By: neobian
Hi guys, very big forums you have got smile
I feel, people who are confident of doing a thing (say public speaking), often maynot have confidence in some other area. The point is, self confidence can be situational and experience based...
Hi Neobian, that point is particularly interesting. You�re right. As just one example, look at how some comedians can be so fearless on stage but then, in real life, they�re as timid as mice! (JOY)

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Actually, "Confidence" is always present inside us, and shows up through our action. But our action depends on our "want" factor - the more we want it desperately the more chance we act on it (and others see the confidence in our action). That explains why comedians can perform on stage (its their job, they have to feed a family) even if they are afraid inside. Even the most courageous people have fear inside them, they have just learned to take action despite feeling afraid all the time. Fear and Confidence are two pedals of a bicycle. If you push one down, the other will climb up. But that's ok, just learn to keep pedaling and in no time it will become smooth and you will be heading at your dreams.

Last edited by neobian; 07/24/11 01:31 AM.
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Also, we talked about this a bit in a different thread, but you also need to focus on the power of words. So instead of saying "i lack self confidence," tell yourself that you are confident and are, say, a great public speaker. Part of this also comes, as neobian says, from exposure. The more you do something, the more confident you are doing it. Sometimes it also helps for you to visualize doing the action before you do it too :)

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Originally Posted By: neobian
...Fear and Confidence are two pedals of a bicycle. If you push one down, the other will climb up. But that's ok, just learn to keep pedaling and in no time it will become smooth and you will be heading at your dreams.
Hi Neobian, your 'bicycle analogy' is a great way to look at it. You're absolutely right - the more you work at it, the smoother your ride. (JOY)

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Hey SIBA, I'm not sure of your Self Development needs but I would have to recommend a book By Joseph Murphy called: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. For me this was one of those turning points in my life where I just went.... A-HA !!!! No matter what I think this book should be read by almost every one... If you want to get REALLY in depth check out Anthony Robbins First book Unlimited Power and/or his Personal Power Course... although the book will give you basically everything you need... Although it's nice to have the objectives laid out for you in the coarse...while getting to hear the enthusiasm of Anthony Robbins helping to motivate you... CHEERS~

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Originally Posted By: Mavrick
Hey SIBA, I'm not sure of your Self Development needs but I would have to recommend a book By Joseph Murphy called: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind...If you want to get REALLY in depth check out Anthony Robbins First book Unlimited Power and/or his Personal Power Course...
Hi Mavrick, thanks for those book suggestions. (JOY)

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I used to be a person who was not very confident and did not have very high self esteem in myself. I still do not think that I am all that confident at my current age but I made a choice in mind to think positively. Just as Linda said above, I tried to make it a point to keep the negativity out of mind. I instead tried to focus on thinking positively and doing things that would make me more confident and give me a higher sense of self esteem like making sure my appearance was great! I believe that this has helped me re-program my brain a bit but it also helps having reinforcement in the forms of books and anything else that would be helpful!

Last edited by dgambino1; 08/31/11 09:32 PM.
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Originally Posted By: dgambino1
...I instead tried to focus on thinking positively and doing things that would make me more confident and give me a higher sense of self esteem like making sure my appearance was great! I believe that this has helped me re-program my brain a bit but it also helps having reinforcement in the forms of books and anything else that would be helpful!

You mentioned �self esteem�. Have you seen this article?
Self-Worth : How To Increase It

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Joy, I have not seen that article before and thank you for giving me a link to that. I really enjoyed reading that article. Very well written article and there were several points in the article that I will have incorporate into my everyday life - the most important being to let go of my inner-critic!! I really need to focus more on doing that! Thank you Joy!!

Last edited by dgambino1; 09/01/11 11:54 PM.
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