I am going through the exact same thing right now. My husband and I had been trying for our first child and we were thrilled when we finally got a positive result. The pregnancy was going great with normal pregnancy symptoms the entire time but when we went for my first ultrasound at 9 weeks they said the baby didn't have heartbeat and that I had experienced a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks. I had a d&c on february 4th and the pain is still there at all times. I feel like there is something missed at all times. You get so excited for something and then you feel like you've been robbed of your experience in the matter of seconds. Then you are supposed to adapt so quickly and realize it's over with. It's not that easy. I told my husband that I will never feel the same until that void is filled with another healthy pregnancy. I'm not trying to replace that child, but I am trying to get those excited feelings back about being a mom. All of my friend are pregnant too. I had already started shopping for our baby and we even picked out baby names. I am throwing my friends baby shower in less than a month and it's so hard to be excited now. I feel so selfish that I can't put these feelings aside and put 100% into her baby shower, but it rips my heart out every time I pike out decorations or games for the shower. I am so jealous and angry. I'm sure that I will come around and although it hurts, i'm going to be excited for her bc that's what I would want my friend to do for me. I work in the health care profession and it's making my grieving process even harder bc their are "mothers" out there that don't even want their children, that don't take care of them, and that don't deserve them. There are girls that do drugs, drink, and smoke their entire pregnancies and have healthy babies and then there are people like me that plan for a child, eat right, and take vitamins and still lose a child. It doesn't seem fair. My heart goes out to you. I hope that things get better for you. I will say a prayer! I have read numerous articles saying that it is unlikely to have two miscarriages and that is the only thing that is keeping my hopes up.