BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Wicca Don't know where to start...

I don't really know if I'm allowed to post this here, but I've read the rules & I'm not trying to convert anyone & I'm not flaming anyone so here goes...I think I might be a Wiccan but I don't know & I don't know if I even 'fit' into the religion? A little backstory, I spent my childhood 1/2 & 1/2 between my mother & my aunt (plus her family) to save you from confusion later. Baptist was what my aunt raised me as, from a very early age I knew I couldn't/didn't believe what I was being told. For various reasons I didn't 'fit' into that religion either & when my family was asked to leave our church, mostly because I refused to wear the obligatory dress & go on trips to convert others & partly because of my family's refusal to make me do so, they went on to find a new one & I didn't. For many years afterwards I still held the religion but on my own terms, I didn't go to church but when asked I told people I was a Baptist. I still held the faith that there was only one God & that he would save me from damnation. Then my mother died. My mother was a Wiccan & never pushed her beliefs on me, she told us (my brother, sister & I) that she would teach us if we asked to be taught. I never, not once asked her about her religion, a fact that makes me want to kick myself now. I remember not long after her death, my aunt told me that my mom secretly believed in God & not to worry she didn't 'think' my mom actually went to hell. That, dear people, was the final straw. How could it be that my mother, the most caring & understanding person I've known go to hell simply because she didn't believe the right thing?? I was done. For a while after I tried to keep believing, I can't, being in the wrong religion is like trying to wear pants that are too small, even if you do manage to squeeze into them you'll never truly be comfortable. Which, leads me to my current problem. I can't have no religion, I tried that too & it too doesn't fit. So I went searching & I've found lots & lots &...lots of ones I know I'm not. In my searching I keep coming back to Wicca, but then again I'm also having trouble there too, one thing, I can't really find alot of stuff on it (ex. one person will say one thing, another something else & a third person will agree with both of them!). So. I said all that to say this, here are some things I currently know I am sure of, do these (or do they not?) fall into the spectrum of Wicca? [b]I do believe:[/b] I do indeed believe in God, but I also believe there are different parts (gods/goddesses?) that come together to make up God, like parts to a whole. I do believe in reincarnation, when you start out you are sent here to learn lessons & are reincarnated until you've learned all that you need to know. This stems mainly from remembering things I could not possibly remember, things that it is not humanly or historically possible for them to have happened to me. I do believe that "bad" people go somewhere other than "good" people, whether that is another round to learn again or to a 'hell' (no better name sorry) like place I do not believe that a child molester or a serial killer will get to spend eternity with regular people. I believe in karma & the fact that to get good things you must do good things. In alters, I'm not sure whom I am worshipping, but I do know that everyone should have a place of there own where they can go to think/center themself/just be. The earth should be celebrated, I mean look around at all it's given us, what's not to celebrate? I also believe in given back to the earth as a thank you for all it gives us. That animals do have souls/spirits & are not placed here just to feed us. Every animal that makes it to my dinner table is given a silent recognition for it's sacrifice to nourish us. That no matter what/how you believe eventually you will end up where you belong. Just because someone believes in Wicca & someone else believes Christianity does not mean that either is wrong or that either will be 'punished' in their after life for their beliefs. [b]I do not believe:[/b] In magic, not that I don't believe awesome things sometimes don't happen at just the right time, but I don't believe casting spells makes any difference. Pushing others to believe as I do. This is how I was raised (it is your job to make sure others know of 'the glory of heaven') & it's always irked me that just because someone believes differently they must be wrong. Meditation, I don't because well, I can't. I'm always doing something & when I do sit down & try my mind ends up wondering here, there & everywhere. I end it more flustered than I started. If you've made it this far, thank you so so much! Any advice/opinions are more than welcome, don't worry about hurting my feelings :)

Hello homemadegirl, and welcome to BellaOnline.

I can so understand what you are going through. You are searching for your truths, your personal path to spiritual growth. This is a difficult time for one, yet it can also be a wondrous time of enlightenment and joy.

There are many people here at BellaOnline that I think can help you along by providing information and giving you insight to different paths. It took me years to find my truths and my path. I was raised Christian and find much there that has helped me. I have never been comfortable in a church though. I prefer to worship in Nature by myself.

Over the years, my path has led to the ways of Native American peoples and their beliefs. I am now very much at peace with a blend of Christianity and Lakhota beliefs. Lakhota is a Native American tribe of the Oglala Sioux. My son is a Buddhist Teacher and I have learned much from him on how to live life with compassion for others and all Creation, which ties in very strongly with my Native American beliefs. Lisa in the Buddhism forum may be able to help you by showing you how Buddhism is a philosophy of life and how to live life in a peaceful way.

The place for you to begin finding your truths and your true path is exactly what you are doing -- asking others for clarification and information is a good place to start. I believe everyone who comes into my life is a teacher that (good or bad) I learn from -- I save the good and learn to avoid the bad.

Read, read as much as you can on whatever sparks your interest - then read some more. Keep journals on how you feel about different religions/belief systems. You may find, as I did, that just one particular religion does not have all you need to spiritually grow on and may even have some things you do not agree with.

On my Native American site I have written some articles on spirituality that may interest you. You can find them at the following link:
Native American Spirituality

If you want help with learning how to meditate, Susan Kramer is a wonderful teacher. Her site is at:
Meditation

Look under the Channel List on the left of the forum and click on Religion & Spirituality and browse the sites there for articles then go to the forums for each site and ask questions or share your experiences about your search for your path. If you come across ancientflaxman (one of our forum members), ask him some questions -- he is a wonderful person to talk with about spirituality and finding one's own truths. Try reaching him at Spirituality, The Goddess which is a thread he often posts in. Ancientflaxman knows his truths and his rightful path yet does not condemn or criticize others for their own truths. He is very open and helpful.

If you think Wicca may be your chosen path, browse this forum you are in and find posts from others that may enlighten you. The Pagan forum is also a good place to look for something that may touch your heart. Ian, the Pagan editor, is very helpful and easy to chat with.

What you are going through is so much like the journey I started on many years ago. If you feel you want to know more about my belief system, I will be happy to chat with you and answer questions. My forum is at:
Native American forum

I am also a Spiritual Coach and help people find their own truths and learn how to stand strong in their own truths. I will be happy to help you if you are interested.

Scott Cunningham has some really good books on the subject. I like any book by him.

Scott Cunningham books are very good to read. One book anyone may want to read is: Simple Wicca by Michelle Morgan.

I was raised Methodist and there are some Christian teachings I just don't feel I can (or should)turn my back on; but my adult faith is definitely Wicca!

The majority of Wiccans/Druids/Pagans I have met have treated me better than so-called Christians. To me, they are a gentler people and so much more accepting of others in the way they talk, act and believe.

As Phyllis stated about Native American Spirituality - it is beautiful. I have read many articles on their beliefs.

As far as going to h e double hockey sticks - I don't believe anyone will go there if they live their lives doing good for others (including animals)and this world.

I used to use a site called Beliefnet a long time ago - you take a quiz and it tries to match you up with a religion that is most associated with your beliefs.

Good luck with your findings - perhaps there may be a Wicca shop somewhere near you that teaches classes. Go and learn for yourself. There are many paths that Wiccans can walk. Maybe you need to find YOUR path.

On the Net two good sites are The Witches Voice (US) and Children of Artemis (UK) both have moderated chatrooms (when I last checked) and contacts for local groups and gatherings. They also have information that may be of help

Thank you all for your replies, I will most defiantly be looking up those books! I don't see myself as a Wiccan just yet, I'd like to think I have alot of Neo/Pagan in me but for right now I'm just looking into it & wanted to see if I what I know I believe flows well with Wicca. Robin, by a happy coincidence I have taken that test, my top 5 answers were: Neo-Pagan (100%), Unitarian Universalism (96%), Jainism (92%), Reform Judaism (89%), Mahayana Buddhism (86%) From there is drops into the lower 70% & really I'd like to find something that fits me, not something I have to fit myself into.

That's the most effective way to find a spiritual path right for you

Ian is so right, homemadegirl. I wish you all the best in your search. Keep us updated on your progress for we would love to know how you are doing.

Friends,how do you deal with the Book of Shadows when you're gone? That is my problem. When I pass away, shall I burn it? Can I keep it with me in my casket? But someone might be interested in it and might use it for the wrong reason.