BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I feel like I'm the only one with no kids

Madge, I'm exactly like that in a group of women talking about their kids etc. - smile, nod, look for my coat, and wonder when I can make an exit.

And yes ! What is it about some women...ALL they talk about on facebook are their kids. AARGH. Don't they have anything else to say ?
I'm not interested in their photos, and how s /he's got a sniffle. I wouldn't mind so much if it was even vaguely interesting.

Madge, I'm 34, does that mean I'm "getting older" too?

I don't even bother to nod, smile, pretend I'm listening and make excuses to leave, for the most part I avoid groups of women like the absolute plague, and if I can't do this then I make sure there is at least one man around so that if the women kick off about children I have someone to talk to.

If I'm in a group of women and they start talking about their children I usually just tune them out. Or if I'm feeling really mean I talk about my 5 cats and 2 dogs and use similar likes like, "my cat did the cutest thing the other day! Here!" and whip out the phone and show them a picture of my cat being cute. They usually stare at me as if I've lost it entirely, but hey, to me my animals are far cuter than their offspring. I agree with Gaynor about the facebook thing! I had one woman in particular who just irritated me when I saw her status. She was upset becuase he kids were going off to their fathers for the holidays and she was stalking about how depressed she was. How the holidays just wasn't the same without her kids. So i commented and said "have a nice dinner with your husband and enjoy yourselves!" and she said "I don't know if you read but, I don't even bother with thanksgiving if I have to do so without my kids" and the whole time I'm thinking, "uh...well excuse me! geez!" I have no idea how she could be so depressed about the holiday just because her kids weren't around. I also hate reading status updates that start off with "my kids are such a joy", it's just irritating.

Haha Random. I guess I just feel like I'm getting older because I have more in common with 20-somethings that don't have kids and I like to go out occasionally to bars where I'm usually a bit older than most. :) Jennifer B. - I do the same things sometimes if I'm really annoyed - start talking about my precious kitties and pup. Right now since I've just moved I'm trying to make new friends and get a full-time job so networking is crucial. Ulterior motive I know but hey at least I'm honest. I'm sure you ladies have talked about annoying Facebook updates before but I'm new and had to get it off my chest. I use great restraint by not posting mean comments under their stupid kid posts. They're all pretty much annoying but the worst is the sickness ones. KIDS. GET. SICK. That's part of what you sign up for when you decide to stretch out your body and push one out. It goes along with the myriad of other "joys" of parenting (note strong sarcasm). I have a handful of real girlfriends about my age that don't have kids. One is a lesbian and owns a pet store, another cries in secret that she still isn't married and wants a child desperately (she puts on that brave face but doesn't hide it very well. I really hope she gets what she wants soon even though it's opposite of what I want out of life). Another is 36 and just got engaged and even though we both talk about not wanting kids I think her soon-to-be husband will turn her soon. I think that's about it! All don't live near me but we stay in touch. The rest are either in their 20s or have kids & are still cool where they can talk about other things besides diapers and laundry. It's hard but you gotta be strong and stick to what's in your heart about what you want out of life.

Jen, your post made me laugh. and you're right - why do people think others want to see photos of their kids ?
You can normally see them screaming up and down the aisles of the supermarket often enough, to remember what they look like.
I have my cat as a screen saver on my mobile and my computer ( it used to be hubby, but hey, it's been thirteen years of marriage, nuf said ) but I don't push pics of her at people to go 'aww'.

Random- ONLY 34 ! tsk... I've just bought a pilates dvd in the hope my 44 year old body can get back into my size 10 jeans.
Hey ho, only 2 clothes sizes to go ;-(

Hello ladies! I recently found out that yet another of my cousins, make that two of my cousins, are pregnant. And another cousin's wife is getting ready to pop one out in a month or so. So most of my family is pregnant or has kids. My "old friends" have all had children for the most part, and I no longer talk with them much. Those facebook posts say just about everything - their lives revolve completely around their kids. I find it hard to talk to most women who have kids. A lot of times it's because all they seem to talk about is their kids, other times it's because I feel like they are judging me in a way for the fact that I don't have kids.....might just be in my head, but a lot of times it's not. I completely understand the "male friends" thing - I've always gotten along better with guys than with girls. I'm just not a "girly girl" - I don't wear makeup, I don't own a hundred shoes or a pile of purses, most days I don't even carry a purse, I don't really enjoy shopping for clothes, and I don't have kids. As a result - there's not a lot for me to talk about with most women. I do have a female coworker who doesn't have kids, and I enjoy talking to her, and another coworker who does have a son, but we share political interests so we mainly talk about that, and it's nice. I do wish there were more CF people for me to hang out with - seems like most of the ones I know don't have much in common with me. Fortunately I'm a bit of a "loner" personality anyway, so a lack of constant interaction with people doesn't get to me. My husband and I pretty much entertain ourselves and are fine most days with it being just the two of us. Still, I would like to have another couple to hang out with, if even just once a month.

hey, feedomgirl, it's really hard when everyone around you are having kids. The worst is yet to come, when they have them, and are in the exstatic new born baby phase. - then it calms down, and the moaning starts about how difficult it is etc. - even then some still push parenthood in your face.

I Think alot of women have kids because they feel they're lacking something - friendship, love, whatever, and believe having kids is the answer.
The great thing about this forum, are, the women here are the same. we don't believe the answer to all our problems lies in offspring.

Although I'm pretty sociable, I too enjoy being alone, and can entertain myself easily, but think it would be great to have a group of cf women to meet up with now and again. - for some damn good conversation, full of humour and interest. ( where did that go (( sigh )) and I have rarely ever had it from other women with kids / kids minded. )

I'm the same as you too, re hubby - we entertain ourselves, and normally do things together, because it's good fun, and we generally like the same things. - we have a few good couples friends, but it would be nice to have face to face with other like minded women.
To be honest, I am getting that from you all here now.
Woo hoo ! I'm no longer the strange, three headed alien lady, without kids... God bless you all....

Amen!! Like several others on the post, I have spent many of my years developing friendships with more males than females, and I tend to believe that most women in these types of friendships go on to not have any children. Also, being an engineer, I see myself peeling more and more away from relating to my female peers (not easy working in a male-dominated profession when all your female friends are school teachers). The great thing about male friends is that most of them do not change very much even after THEY have kids.

AmyG & Jennifer B, I feel the same way, like an alien in my own family and at church, and social stuff, it is horrible and I guess deciding not to have kids, without even deciding properly, means we are cutting ourselves out of relating to the mainstream of society and it really does alienate us from them, I feel very cut off from people and left out, and it is a huge price to pay, but also having a kid is a huge price to pay to be part of the "club"...Pros and cons on either side.. I would give anything not to feel that awkward feeling everytime though..yuck!

I agree with a lot of the other things that have been said. I definitely feel like the only woman without kids in most groups of friends I get together with because I usually am. I'm also not interested in having any (even after being married almost 12 years). Usually, I either end up talking with the husbands or listening to the women talk about their kids. With the women, I try to show a little interest (they are my friends after all) and then I jump into the conversation whenever they get talking about other topics (this isn't too often though).