BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I feel like I'm the only one with no kids

I am 40 and by choice I have not had children. I am living with a man who has two kids. All my friends, his friends, his cousins, EVERYONE has kids. I am completely comfortable with my decision, but I feel I have nothing in common with any other female my age. I can *sometimes* contribute to conversations with my experience with my boyfriend's kids, but it's not the same. Does any one else feel this way?

What makes you think that women with kids may not want to escape and hang out with you or hear about your interests. Even though you have no kids and the other does ...you both are women and have everything in common. If someone just talked about nothing but there kids that would drive me up the wall. I would then think they need to expand there worlds.

Amy, to be honest if all these people can talk about is their kids then get away from them! Most people have many interests and if women let that stop just because they have kids then they're very sad indeed. If you are kind of stuck with specific people then it's maybe worth trying to find out what they are really enthusiastic about (other than their kids) because they must have some interests.

I know many parents (although admittedly their kids are generally older now) but they are all capable of talking about current affairs, sports, and all sorts of other subjects.

I agree with rdywenur apart from "you both are women and have everything in common". As a woman who is very into what are traditionally considered 'male interests' I tend to find that my friends are all male since I can discuss so much with women but they simply cannot get remotely involved in conversation about the things that interest me the most (and vice versa).

My friends actually do escape and hang out with me occasionally and talk about things other than their kids. Maybe what I'm feeling is actually that I would like to have at least one friend without kids. LOL

I have had acquaintences with kids that do like to get away and talk with other things, and I am fine spending some time with them. However, I do understand the desire to spend time with people that don't have any kids. My closest friends all don't have kids, for differing reasons. I think I got quite lucky to happen to meet them. It looks like you are in the US, maybe someone else here has suggestions of ways to look for child free groups to meet other women without kids. I know such things exist, but living here near the end of the world, I have never gone to any.

I am amazed ! I empathize with all the above comments ! Especially yours Random, most of my best mates have been male, as I find - in general - women with kids boring to be around.
It's a real pleasure to find a woman with interesting conversation, and fun, as, like Amy says, the majority talk about their kids / kid related topics, which are boring to me.

It is difficult, Amy, and I'm lucky, like isis most of my closest friends now, are child free. But I know how it feels to be in a group of women and feel like a complete alien.

I agree with the others too, in that you need to find other cf women, or even men with the same interests as you ( although difficult with a husband, as I don't know how many heated conversations I've had with people, about how men can be 'just friends' with women.)

I digress. If I was in your situation, I would avoid alot of contact with these women. single out the ones who you find interesting, and try to get a better bond if possible.
For me if I have social contact with others I want it to be good fun, otherwise, what's the point ?
Then actively look for other cf women in your area / extended circle of friends. They will be there.

However, i must admit, I feel I have the most in common with the women on this forum ! Shame we don't all live in the same town !
Then again, there wouldn't be many kids about....;-D

For most of my life, most of my friends have been male. I've mostly been a tomboy :) My bestest friend now (female) has been married for 12 years and they only had their first child 2 years ago. So for many years, she was my friend without kids! Thank you all for your comments and I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. :)

AmyG, I totally feel you! I'm 33, no kids but my partner has 2. I have some friends without kids but none of them as strongly against having them as me. Most of them want kids and the only one who I thought didn't is now in a relationship and is considering it! I feel like she's such a sellout. I just don't get the desire to procreate or to hang out with kids, I don't mind my partner's children but wouldn't really want them around full-time... And yes, I would love more friends, especially women my age, who feel the same way. By the way, Isis7, where is teh "end of the world" for you? I'm in New Zealand...

Amy, I hear you. Like others have stated, I too feel like an alien when around women with kids. Especially now that I'm getting older (I'm 35). I usually just nod and smile and pray for the gathering to be over as soon as possible. But maybe that's because they're usually women I'm only acquaintances with (my husband and I move around a lot and my good friends with kids live far away so I just get to read their boring child-centric Facebook comments). It was really bad when we lived in the country but now that we're back in a city I've been meeting a lot more women that talk about other things besides their spawn. I've also started to volunteer with a pet therapy group and we just gush about our pups :).

Firegirl, the end of America at the very least is where I live, on this little unknown peninsula of Virginia known as the Eastern Shore. We're not eve on some American maps, that's how unknown we are. I gotta admit, when talking to some people around I feel really odd becuase I'm usually the only one without kids. Even within my family I'm the only one who doesn't want kids. Even my younger male cousins say they want kids! So I'm the odd-woman out even among my own family members.