BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Depression ISOLATION AND DEPRESSION

Hey, guys (which includes girls, of course)!

Sorry I was late getting on an article this week. Last week, my mom was in a car wreck and was injured by the air bag. She's okay, but still in a lot of pain. Anyway, I had to stay with her for 8 days, and didn't have access to a computer!

I just put on a new article entitiled "Isolation and Depression." You can check it out at:
BellaOnline's Depression Site

Hope you're all doing well! Take care of you!
Kitten

Glad to see you were able to be with your mom

But sorry to hear about her car accident

***I just noticed your location is Alabama***

I am from Phenix City, Alabama.

My therapist is always encouraging me to get out and do things or join something. It is true, when you get out there you feel so much better, it is just the getting out that is a struggle! I have a hard time making friends.

That's really helpful for me. I was horribly depressed after a road accident. Thanks for your articles. Your article gave me a real boost and I am back again. Thanks again.

Farjana, thanks so much for your post! It makes me feel like I'm doing something worth while when someone tells me one of my articles was helpful! Hope you visit us again!

Thanks for your concern, Phenix City! That's so nice of you.

Yep, I'm in Muscle Shoals in the NW corner of the state--former hit recording capital of the world!!

Connie, how could you have a hard time making friends?! You're a sweetheart!

I don't have a hard time making friends, except that I don't get out much. Lack of money and time! I have borderline personality disorder, so when someone does something that hurts me, I automatically see them as evil, and I dismiss them! Now that I have a diagnosis and know that I have this issue, I'm trying to work on it, but after being hurt so much, it's difficult. I always think, "Why do I want to trust someone who's already proven to me that I can't trust him or her?" I know that no one is perfect, and if I can see that it wasn't intentional, I can usually let it go, but if I can see that someone hurt me intentionally, it's "SEE YA!!"

I think I attract weird people! I don't know what that says about me LOL!!! Like you, I don't get out much either and now that my kids are all grown and gone away I don't go to school functions except for my grandaughters school stuff. I have had 3 best friends over the years. You just lose touch I guess. We've had a lot of family tradgey (sp??) and I think about calling one of them but then think, I will have to tell them all about it and then I don't call. It is like reliving all over again to tell the story, but it seems like that is all in my mind. I guess having friends would be a normal thing, and I just don't function as normal anymore.

Hi Conniem, whenever I do reach out, I get hurt or betrayed - so now I am down to ONE person - my boyfriend.

He is not perfect, but he has been there for me when no one else has been.

It is about the QUALITY of the people in your life, not the QUANTITY.

That is true about the quality. I am lucky to have a good family. My kids are always very supportive and my husband is my best friend.

Yep, took me alot of WASTED years to figure out my mom could not be there for me. Went through alot of counseling to finally figure out, I have no control over her - only me.

Sometimes it is folks outside the family that are there for you - like my boyfriend.

EVERY day I let him know how much I appreciate him - no matter what he is going through, he can pick up on when I am having a "challenging" day.

I use to be into how handsome or rich a man is. This one is struggling like I am financially, but I would not TRADE him for anyone else

Connie, I'm guilty of doing the same thing. I sometimes think of people I'd like to talk to, but then I think, "Everything I'd have to say is negative, and who wants to hear that sort of thing?" But the fact is that people who really care about you are just glad to hear your voice. Sometimes they can pick you up and have you laughing when you didn't think it was possible.

I guess I feel hurt about my last really close friend not keeping up with me. I was always the one calling and she was always glad to hear from me but I felt like our friendship was one sided. My therapist is always telling me to get out and be with people. She thinks I spend too much time alone thinking. Which is true, I do think about things a lot. I try to stay busy with different hobbies that I enjoy. That does help. I worked for a couple of months this year but my husband didn't like me working as much as he liked the extra money! Plus I was constantly sick. I worked at a day care taking care of the babies and I caught everything. I do miss the babies and taking care of them but the people that I worked for were real jerks so I can't say that I was unhappy to quit and go back to being a housewife!

Conniem, it is HARD to trust folks and I am just like you with females. Either they sleeping with your man or stabbing you in the back

But I am sure there are some good ones out there...........

Well, I just think it is hard to find a nice person to be friends with!

They are out there and I guess we just have to keep hoping that we run across some

Girls, I know what you mean. I have one girlfriend and she's as good as gold, but she has 3 kids, works full-time, and still has every friend she's ever made! Needless to say, she doesn't have much time for hanging out. I usually see her a couple of times a year for lunch or something. We talk on the phone maybe once every 2 or 3 months. I love her to death, but it does hurt that she doesn't have much time for me. I understand, but it's hard because I miss her. We used to work together and we were really close back then.

But I don't try to make friends anymore because I don't trust anyone. I've been hurt by everyone I've ever been close to, so I just figure the fewer people I let into my life, the less pain I'll have. I guess that's a sad way to see the world, but that's been my experience. My psychiatrist said I was just picking the wrong people. Please... I very rarely pick them.

Anyway, the way I feel about it all is part of my borderline personality disorder (which is largely responsible for my depression). It's all black and white thinking. No gray in my world. It's good or evil, up or down, black or white. I know better, but that's the way I learned to see things, and it's hard to learn to think a different way, especially when I believe I'm right about things!

I hear you! I am so over the games and apart from Sylvester and BellaOnline, I keep my distance (LOL).

Maybe when I head home, my daughter and myself can start over and maybe develop something close. Right now, we are trying not to "choke" each other SAD!!!