Yikes Swearbear, that sounds like a tough one indeed.

Sorry if I sounded too presumptuous in my above post... I shouldn't have been posting so late at night.

It's hard when you continually reach out to people and show support, but they refuse to see it.
This happened to me once with a family member, but after years, she finally came around, and now we're great friends. However, it took quite a while, and there were still some issues until I finally stood up to this person and said that though I will always love her and not fully shut her out, I would no longer be giving my time and support to someone unappreciative who just expects it and doesn't show love and support in return. This person is actually loving and kind, she just needed someone to give her a wake up call, as she herself wasn't seeing things through reasonable eyes - her view was a bit warped, and I believe she had trust issues. Once she realized I didn't actually "owe" her anything, she began to appreciate the time and love I showed. This situation is different than yours of course, but it's just another example of family drama and how, with time, things can, sometimes, get better. Key word there is "sometimes." haha
I don't advise completely shutting out family members (except in truly abusive/dangerous situations), but I do advocate distancing yourself from those who continually drag you down or show disrespect. Perhaps you should decide how often you really want to see these people in your family and decide that it's okay to say "no" to get togethers, as your mom did. It might ruffle feathers, as shown by your uncle, but if they can't show respect, then they don't deserve your company. It's your life, and just because they're family, it doesn't give them the right to treat you poorly. Life is short, and we all deserve to be around people who support us and build us up. I'm really glad you found such a supportive husband - a blessing indeed and a true treasure. It's sad that we can't choose our family, huh?