Vicki -
There is a hearing processing 'problem' that runs very strongly in my father's family. (I don't see it as a problem and believe that it is responsible for much of my success in life.) My sister and brother were officially diagnosed, I was not. I learned coping skills from older relatives. My sister was regularly told that her "problem" was to blame for things and taught some not particularly useful coping skills in school. My brother was told that the way his mind works would make some things harder and other things easier and not to get discouraged by the fact that the hard things would mostly be earlier in life but once he got through those things, things like graduate school would be very easy for him and he could achieve a lot.
I view the hearing processing thing positively (although they now have a cure - not just coping skills - that works for some people and I'm looking into it because it won't take away the positive things I've gained from my 'problem' but will make me more efficient.) My sister feels so negatively about it that she won't even talk about it. My brother is neutral (but went to grad school.)
It is true that you need the label to get services, this is an issue I'm dealing with myself right now. I think how the label is dealt with is very important. If a label is a reason for failure, that's not positive for anyone. Reasons are good, but every "label" has a positive side and we need to remember those.
Julie