BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids This probably has already been asked but....

I had mine go off at 39 - big time. For at least a year I was miserable trying to decide what to do. I think it was more the pressure of it being the end of my ability to have kids more than anything else. I still chose not to have kids though - so it's not like you lose your mind and are completely controlled by it. If you never liked kids then you won't suddenly start!

What is this IMHO people keep typing?

I think the urge to procreate is a biological/evolutionary thing. It is in the nature of all species to want to procreate. As we age and the inability to procreate draws near we feel more compelled to do so. I think that is what we call the "biological clock."

For some us of though, logic supersedes biology. Those of us who chose not to have kids were able to objectively look at what is involved in procreation and realize that it is not for us. I think part of it may also be natures way to ebb population growth as our earth becomes saturated with humans.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine about this question last year. The desire, or urge, to have children for her is a constant thing. Like, she has always wanted kids (she has two now) and the desire didn't go away after she had the first one. She definitely feels like her body is telling her to do so.

Like most people on here (probably) I am missing the desire to have children for sure. Every way I look at it, the CF lifestyle makes more sense to me and is more enjoyable. However, there have been a few times when I've felt like having a child was something I might want to do. I agree with Kat1980 that this urge (which I felt around age 35-36) had more to do with the fact that I know biologically I only have a couple of years left. However like jeannie70, I was able to be logical about it, think it over and be absolutely sure I wanted to remain CF. It's like you know it's an option (and like other people have said, there's a whole lot of pressure with people telling you that you should have kids) but it doesn't totally take over your life. So that's my experience with the "biological clock." The urge to procreate may be a biological thing, but birth control has changed the outcome of sex so it doesn't always end with reproduction. We now have the ability to choose the outcome.

IMHO = in my honest opinion
IMO = in my opinion
DH or dh = dear husband


cp

We talked about the biological clock, motherhood and the stereotypes of CF women in my psych class this last month. Some very interesting things came up about the biological clock. I seemed to be the only one in class that keeps listening but doesn't hear anything. The rest of the class seemed to hear this elusive clock based on several things. Societal pressure, cultural pressure, familial pressure. Being under pressure is no reason to have a child and yet all of these forces are strong and built into who we are as people and society. I for one have gone back and forth with reasons to have or not have a child. I am still sorting through it, which is part of the reason that I have joined this forum. A few years ago I thought I heard this so called clock, but realized after some soul searching that it was really loneliness and not being content with MY life. When I realized this a whole new world opened up to me including a relationship and going back to college. I no longer think that children are the answer (that was society and all of its advertisements talking). BTW, chances are if you don't like kids, or if kids make you feel like running and hiding there will be no clock for you.