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We are here to help you out!

Post what is stressing you this week. We will help you find a solution, or at least help you feel less stressed about that item!

Stress causes serious harm to your health. The hormones have a physical effect on your body. Together we can learn to reduce stress, so you are a more happy, healthy person!


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I'm guessing it's going to be getting caught up with email after being gone for a week. Insane amounts and most of it is not junk. cry At least I don't have to train clients again until July cool


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If I had to point at one single thing that is nagging at me and causing me to stress and worry, it would be how a family member who was already having a difficult time emotionally is handling the death of a one-time friend that he had felt the need to distance himself from. He has been so depressed that I made the suggestion that he might consider seeing a grief counselor to which he replied that he was angry at the man who passed away...why should he seek counseling. Denial and unresolved feelings are not a good mix.

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Monica -

I used to be SO swamped with email every day, it took over my life and made me unable to get anything else done. Even now I'm dealing with the huge backlog in various to-do folders, that will take me years to get through. So I empathize completely!

I also understand that even if it's not spam, it can still be too much.

I'll start a separate thread - here you go! -

http://forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/605896#Post605896


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MSBaby -

It is SO challenging when someone in your life is having problems. You want to help, but you can never "change someone else". So all you can do is try your best and then watch them suffer.

I've created a thread for you in the depression forum -

http://forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/605899#Post605899

Maybe we can brainstorm a few ideas!


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For me, I am dealing with being very behind in various areas of work. I have been pushing very hard for a certain important personal goal, and jumping over tons of obstacles to achieve it.

Well, I finally have the goal realized. I am thrilled! But I am also realizing how many other things in life I had to push aside and now deal with.

Intellectually I know I should kick back and relax a bit. But realistically I have backed up client work that needs to be handled.

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My big stress this week is the huge volume of schoolwork we have. For some reason, we have 2 weeks worth of reading and assignments this week (and 2 quizzes) and a week with no homework at the end of July. The only thing I can think of is that it gets people to drop the class if they aren't committed.

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I'm doing online course on flash banner design. As I was sick for a month I'm way behind.More over there is a lot of topic to write about and I can't decide which one to write about.

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This week, I stress over my banking account being in the negative. I try to keep a very close eye on it, but it is a shared account, and sometimes things get over looked. I have a memory problem from an accident I had many years ago, and so sometimes this happens. Now I have to find a way to make up for monies lost.

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It sounds like several people are stressed about being behind on tasks - I'll start a new thread on that!

BecauseICare - it is SO common for people to run out of money in this economy. I feel for you. I've been pushing my boyfriend hard to get me new origami orders to make sure I have that money coming in (I fold origami to make extra money). Go by the SO/HO forum - it's in the career area - and ask for ideas to make money. People will chime in with different ideas for you!


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I am slowly getting less behind - my mother helped me set up a schedule where i get ONE thing done a day. It's been helping me feel less overwhelmed. Things are actually getting done.

My stress this week is this cat Faramir. She is pregnant again. I need to get her spayed asap and need to find the cheapest possible way to do it. I am looking for vouchers but it still has me stressed out. I am not ready and settled in my mind to do research yet. I even hired a Fiverr VA to help with this but she seems to have disappeared.

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My stress today is physical. It is 80 degrees in the house, 90+ outside, and the AC said "no way!" when I turned it on for the first time this year. I have lots of work to do, indoors and out, but have to go slow and drink lots of fluids and try not to fret about it. Tomorrow is another (hot) day.

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Claybird, this thread and the linked article discusses ways to stay cool without AC - forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php/topics/609470/Re_Ways_to_Stay_Cool_Without_A#Post609470

I feel for you. My AC has trouble with this heat also. Stay cool!

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I totally feel your pain Exersice Editor - I dread coming back to work after being away for a while because of the large heap of emails that need to be dealt with...and in my head it all needed to be dealt with yesterday! Here is a tip I have found works for me: When I leave the office for a day or two, I set up an autoresponder for my email that let's people know when they can expect a reply to their email. I always say I will reply one day after I get back. Then, if I do get through my emails the first day I am back, everyone is happy because they got answers from me sooner than they thought.

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I'm actually a little less stressed this week. The kids are happily enjoying themselves at the grandparents and my mother in law has been in bed pretty much since we got back from dropping the kids of last Saturday. My husband has been working nights so he's been asleep during the day. It's almost like having the house to myself. I don't even mind the heat that much! giggles...


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Dianne, not sure from reading your post what your stress is? lol. It sounds all good to me!

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lol...Jilly - it does sound good doesn't it.
The stress is usually - a stressful job coupled with that woman (otherwise known as the MIL) that's still in my house. It had gotten to the point where my eye started twitching again and it usually only does that when I'm on stress overload.

With the kids gone, the MIL seems less uptight and is backing off. So stress is almost down to zero. Wait though. I'm going to pick up the kids this weekend from my folks so I would imagine when we get back on Sunday - the stress-o-meter will once again fly off the charts...lol...


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Dianne - it's wonderful that you had some quiet time to rest and recharge!

I'm feeling fairly relaxed right now. My inbox is clean. My coursework for the week is done. By book piles are diminishing day by day as I send them off to editors! I am seeing real progress.

Somehow this week and next week have a lot of things on the schedule, which is unusual for me, so I'm glad I have things reasonably caught up to let me get through this.

I need to keep working on these book piles and continue with the progress.


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stress of the week... a Family Meeting In Another State, I wasn't Included so BF n me went to a 24 hour coffeeshop and he bought me a candy bar inna middle of the night, and I had some incense and a candle and had a vigil til daylight. i was Verra proud not to be on the fonio every 20 minutes not even ONCE, just sit and wait for the outcome. then; i get the how it went call and there was So Much AMBIENT Noise in the background ... i was pacing and sticking my finger in my ear not to listen to the airplane, the EMT sirens, the library book cart, the construction crew, the large trucks going by... LOL

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This week's stress - pregnant cat, car issues, handyman issues, issues with the heat and feeling under the weather.

I have good days and bad days. This is a bad day. frown

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More kittens arrived early this morning. I am tired, lonely and my bed is covered in blood. I wish I could stop feeling stressed about everything. I just can't make it go away.

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Okay, the kitten thing is now under control. This week my stress is about catching up on things that have been put aside for too long. I am trying to not really get too upset with myself, and just get things slowly off my plate.

I want to make sure this kind of position i am in doesn't happen again!

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The last couple of weeks I had to deal with my mom being in and out of the hospital. She's doing good now - but at one point I'd thought I'd lost her to a terrible stroke. So I feel like now I'm coming down off this anxiety-ridden roller-coaster shocked

Now my only stress is dealing with the flippen' diet that I'm on. And really, that's just so much better smile


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I'm sorry to hear about your Mom Deanna, and I'm glad she is doing better!

For "eating healthy" concerns definitely swing by the various forums we have on the topic, we can help you with that! I am a strong proponent of eating healthy foods - it makes a huge difference in your entire life!

My stress today is that Mused has a deadline of tonight at midnight so I am doing 8 million different things to get everyone set for that. We are always deluged with last minute entries, and people who have trouble using the forms, and people who can't get entries to submit, and so on. At midnight there will be peace smile


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As usual I'm stressed about the number of emails I get from people who want free promotion.

I know that an inbound link and mention from out site is a big deal. I know that a link from my other site which also happens to be in the top 1% of all sites on the internet is also a big deal.

I just don't believe in selling out and promoting any product just to make a buck. I think our visitors (mine too) deserve more than just product pushing.

I've had this guy emailing me for 6 months (very persistent) about promoting his product which as it turns out is not a good fit for either site. I surveyed my sites and google and other sources to find out.

I tried to turn him down politely 6-7 times but finally got sick of his emails so I had to just be blunt and tell him he really had nothing my visitors wanted and to please stop emailing me.

I wish I had just put him in my spam list instead. He wrote back a nasty hate email saying that he wasn't interested in free promotion (yeah, o.k.) and that I may know what my market wants but being an ex fat mommy doesn't make me a fitness expert (his exact words).

You know what bugs me most about this? The guy has never bothered to find out anything about my background. I was fat once for 18 months. I do use that experience to help people but I've been helping people lose weight since I was 19. My first "client" was my best friend. I helped her stop bingeing every time her boyfriend hurt her. My second client also my best friend. She lost 25 pounds in one year just learning better eating habits from me. I love what I do and I'm good at it and I don't just do it for the money.

This is guy was kissing my butt 6 weeks ago to get inbound links from all my sites. I'm so tired of dealing with these pushy promotion people. This stuff really stresses me out.

I understand people are hurting for money right now and this is a huge reason for the desperation but what do you say to these people to get them off your back. Do you not answer at all? How do you keep people like this from constantly harrassing you Lisa?


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Monica, the worst part is how he was sucking up to you when he wanted something from you, then when denied he got all misogynist. Who raised him? Sheesh. I am sorry you had to deal with someone like that.

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Also, next time just put them on your spam list. Life is too short to put so much of your spirit into someone who is probably making email blasts to every weight loss link he can gather. Your time and energy are worth more than that.

It's like something Lisa told me a few years ago about eyeballs. You have to be vigilant about whom you spend them on.

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Eyeballs...lmao!!! I will have to remember that. I'm gonna tape some eyeballs on my monitor now. Thanks : )


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Right now my new stress is dealing with a crazy situation i created by not paying attention to something important. I need to stop doing this. I set myself up for situations that make me get behind.

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In a related situation, I had my car break down at night in the midddle of nowhere last night. was able to limp home via the kindness of strangers. today and much of this week will be dealing with a car, again...also me meds are about to run our and i need a dr asap.I was planning on only having to deal with the dr part this week....haha, silly me...

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My stress for this week is erratic glucose levels. Ran the gamut from over 200+ down to 47. ugh.

And then, my daughter's situation is always a stress. frown

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I get bombarded with link exchange requests every day. I have a signature set up in my mail package so I don't even have to type anything. I just hit RESPOND and then choose the "link exchange" signature which puts in a whole block of text. It says:

---

Greetings! Thank you for your note about participating in a link exchange.

BellaOnline receives 20 million pageviews each month and is usually the #1 Google result for search terms we write about. As a result, we get hundreds of requests for link exchanges every day.

Here is our information on link exchanges:

http://www.bellaonline.com/misc/adv/linkexchange.asp

Please let me know if you have further questions.

Lisa Shea
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------------

That's it. No muss, no fuss, they're pointed at that page which says we don't do it. If they write again, I give them that same response.

If they want to send a product to review, and it's in my area, I'll accept it with the note that my review is going to be 100% my own words and thoughts. Either they accept that or they don't.

If it's not in my area, then I say it's not in my area, and point them at the site list for them to choose someone else.

If I'm swamped with the item, like too many books, then I'll tell them my backlog is too huge and I will write them when I have an open schedule again.

That should take care of everyone!

Last edited by Lisa Low Carb Ed; 08/21/10 06:37 PM.

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Chi -

Wow, those are wild fluctuations! Is there something odd going on with your diet?


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I feel better now. I did some gardening and worked on my patio area. That is always soothing. I still have to deal with the car and a dr, but at least I have a plan.

I feel like drawing right now.

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I did some drawing last night! That made me feel happy. I had not done that in a while.

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Jilly - that is awesome! You have found space in your world for drawing again, it shows how much things have settled down for you!


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Yes, I was so happy to be able to sketch a little. I am filling up a little sketch pad with drawings of Bonsai trees. I find that soothing.

Ok, my stress this week is dealing with my grief over losing my kitten. I might have had other things on my mind but right now this is big enough. William was my baby, my favorite, and i was there to birth him. Right now he is in my freezer, wrapped in the blanket he was born on.

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Oh, my glucose fluctuations are due to the new insulin I'm on. I'm on insulin for the first time and learning how to gauge my dosages based on what I'm eating.

This week's stress:

We need to move in with my elderly aunt. She is a very organized hoarder. Her house is filled with labeled boxes and collections of all kinds. From Elvis and empty plastic cups to shampoo samples and stuffed animals. Used medicine bottles. Political buttons. Three stereos (the old turntable kind). And organ. A piano. Over 3000 kitchen magnets. Disneyana. Even cleaned wishbones from chicken and turkey dinners past. Does that paint a picture?

She needs living assistance but refuses to get rid of anything. We need to store our own stuff just to fit in there. Good thing we live very simply. Hardly any stuff at all. But we are stressing just a bit over how we will fit in.

Plus, she is very particular on everything from how to wash her trash (yes, you read that correctly) to using a toothbrush to wash the forks. She is a very neat and clean hoarder. ack. What a combination.

The added stress comes from my husband who can't stand clutter. He gets overwhelmed. His own mother is a neat freak. I'm stressing over how to help everyone get along.

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Wow, Lori, that sounds like madness. I'd advise getting out of that environment as much as possible. Spend your free time at the library or coffee shops or at parks. Someplace peaceful.

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Jill - give yourself time to heal. Find ways to commemorate his passing. Create your own rituals.

Chi - find just one area of the collection that might have a treasured new home. For example - find a political museum that might adore the buttons. Then talk to your aunt about how the buttons will be treasured and adored by many if they are safely - *temporarily* - displayed in that museum. Get her comfortable with the idea that the items will be safe, and yes you acknowledge that they are incredibly valuable. That all her hard work in saving them has been worth it, because now they can be really appreciated.


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I think my stress for this week relates to the constant mess around me. I think I need to focus more energy on keeping things clean, which will then let me be more efficient and effective when I do everything else.


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Lisa, what besides books are your main mess categories?

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Probably clothes. Bob refuses to put away clothes so we have piles of dirty clothes in the living room, and piles of clean clothes in the bedroom. Roomba in the living room hasn't run in weeks because the floor isn't clear enough to let him run.

OK so clothes. I can work on that.


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Hmmm. So what would be the root problem here? We know Bob has too many clothes, but what is the reason? Does it make him feel emotionally secure to have a wide variety, somehow, like a security blanket? (i can be like that with books)

Or does he hate folding and putting things away, or hate doing laundry?

Or is he preoccupied with other things and oblivious to the mess and excess of clothes?

Alternatively maybe he feels he can find what he likes to wear best by having the clothes in view instead of put away. People who are creative sometimes can be 'out of sight, out of mind' with their stuff, so having things in view - like on hooks, bins and shelves, is better than hidden in closets and drawers.

If we can figure out the root issue, it will be better than trying to make a temporary fix.

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I have cleaned up the living room! Hurrah! I did a happy dance in the middle of the room smile

He hates putting away things. To be honest I do too, I just give in more quickly when my pile gets fairly big. He never reaches that point.

He is large right now. He can't give away the large clothes because he wears them. But he doesn't want to give away the other smaller clothes because he thinks he'll fit into them soon. And to be honest if our gym activities hold up, he will. So the key will be to promptly donate the larger clothes as soon as he doesn't fit into them any more.


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Lisa, have you and Bob worked on the clothes overload?

This week my stress will be normal life stuff! YAY! lol

I will pay the bills, get my tire changed and head to Sedona to pick up Faramir (she was being fostered while nursing kitten batch 2). And I might adopt one of her kittens to replace the spot of love i had for William. (whom i am still not ready to bury).

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Moving into a new house.

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Yikes, Rebecca - a stress I know well. Good luck!

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Good luck with the move Rebecca - it can be stressful, but also very rewarding as you settle everything into its new home!

Jilly - I'm so glad your stresses are normal stresses that can be handled in quiet relaxation! You should celebrate!!


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We just made settlement on a new house also. We are downsizing and moving to another state. I think my hubby is the king of the pack rats. lol

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Oh - downsizing can be a huge challenge. If we tried to downsize right now it'd be a disaster. We are having enough trouble decluttering with the current sized house. Best of luck!!


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My stress this week would be handling my budget, and planning for the next two weeks.



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Okay it is part way through the week. I have paid most of my bills but still need to deposit some more checks so make sure they are covered. And I pick up Faramir tomorrow. So tomorrow = checks and Faramir (have to go to Sedona for that).

I will work on the tire changing hopefully thursday. And I still have three more bills to pay, but will do that after my deposits clear.

maybe I will go for a little hike in Sedona while I am there. As long as it's not too hot in the car for Faramir.

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I think pondering our stresses with an eye towards minimizing them is a good practice to stick with!

My stress this week was that there were a number of plans up in the air and I stressed about how they would all work out. As it turns out, they have worked out quite smoothly - so my stress was for nothing!

I think it reminds me again that I should of course do the best I can - and then I have to prepare myself to roll with what happens. I can't control everything. I will find a way to work with what does happen.

I'm having a delightful 3 days with my son, and even though it's not the days we first planned for, that is fine!


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My stress this week involves phone calls. Phones are super convenient but i wish i could just text everything. I don't like talking. I don't like menu trees. I don't like holding. I don't like having to sit around with my credit card in hand, or membership card, or calendar while taking care of phone business...maybe i get annoyed too easily. smile

I need to make reservations for an RV park in the Seattle area. I need to make a phone payment for my cable bill, and my electric bill. I need to call a few people re: items on Craigslist and FreeCycle.

I also need to sit down with said calendar and really plan things out for the next two months. I feel a little bit like i have been drifting for the last few weeks.

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I am completely with you on phones. I simply do not like phones. I would much rather handle issues by email. It seems incredibly inefficient to handle issues on the phone.

I pay all my bills electronically. My cable bill auto pays, my electric bill does, I never have to do a thing. I highly recommend it!



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I have a lot of stress this week. November was kind of a disaster and I am paying for that this month.


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This week's stress is finishing off my AHCCSS papers. It's an overwhelming bit of self research and I really want to just chuck it all.

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Holiday shopping
Catching up on my articles
Paying the bills
Preparing for meetings


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my this week biggest stress is that my mother is not well and i am not getting leave from my office. I don't know how to manage these two things.

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Elizabeth, can you call on others to help out with your mother?

My biggest stress this week was preparing the house for entertaining relatives. Now they're gone and I can get back to my computer work and celebrate my 64th birthday today. Life flies by ...

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My stress this week involves a ton of little errands. Since I hate leaving the house, I wait until everything piles up at the last second and then have to run out and do things.

I wish I could just quietly sit here, and that someone would pick up the cat food, go to the post office, deposit my checks and get my haircut. smile

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Me, too, Jilly! Errands annoy me, so sometimes I bribe myself to get them done--could be a green tea at Starbucks or a even a mani/pedi after they're done.

I do try to group them together, though so I can get it all done in one fell swoop (which sometimes works, sometimes not.)

I even try to be all "mindful" about these things and when that fails, I crank up the radio and try really hard to pretend I'm a rock star who's doing errands just for fun. LOL--You should see me smiling and waving at the "little" people then! laugh

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My stress for this week was that my office had gotten so cluttered and dirty that I literally developed allergic reactions when I went into it. I'd feel great when I woke up - and awful after an hour or so in the office.

I finally just cleaned everything out of my office, vacuumed and steam cleaned the floor, and haven't brought anything back in yet. So the living room is a giant disaster but my office is clean!


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My stress is knowing I'm going to have to euthanize my cat tomorrow. He's had kidney issues for a couple of years, and Saturday, he started crashing. Although I know it's the best decision, it's still hard.


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I am so sorry SWK. i had to do that this summer to my kitten. It was terrible. I feel for your pain. Hang in there!

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Thanks, Jilly. I didn't realize how stressful it was going to be--or how stressful it had been while taking care of him for so long. Now that he's gone, I have to totally change my routine and my way of thinking, and it's overwhelming. Who knew long-term stress could be so utterly exhausting!?


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SWK -

It is definitely emotionally exhausting to care for a sick pet and then to have to choose to put him or her down.

Take care of yourself in here, and give yourself time to grieve.


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This week my stress is the wellness of my family. 2 weeks of illness now. I started out with an inner ear imbalance that threw me off, literally. Then hubby came down with flu and pneumonia, oldest child bronchitis, and it's looking like I've now got bronchitis or something. The house is in shambles! Ready to get everyone healthy and my house back in shape!!

SWK, I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby. I'm a huge animal person and know how hard that decision is. So sorry!!


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This week's stress has got to be getting to work in the d#&n snow.
I haven't had to dig my car out of deep snow since I left NJ 12 years ago! I keep complaining about the road crews here not doing a very good job and the natives always respond with:"We don't get enough snow here to make it worthwhile to have the equipment to do it well." Well, this is the third major snow fall this year. How much do we need to get before they learn how to clear interstates correctly? I'd like to send every MODOT employee on a field trip to NJDOT to teach them the correct way to clear an interstate.

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I am so so so glad I moved somewhere that does not get snow. Every time i hear about someone getting snow I start to shudder. Honestly! smile

My stress this week is planning out this week/month. I feel out of sorts from planning so hard for last week to happen, that now I feel a little lost for this week.

There is also a TON of uncertainty with my MIL's health, where she will be living and how Dan and I will have to move to take care of her. Where? When? What? Argh. I hate waiting around on other people to make huge life plans.

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I have an annual IEP meeting for a student and an observation by my principal on the same day this week. Maxi stress.


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Nothing is working today. I have not been able to get a hold of my case manager for weeks and I need her. I can't get in touch with my handyman who i expect to come today and he will not call back to confirm. My MIL may or may not be dying. I may be moving to Oklahoma or Los Angeles. I feel like my boss is unhappy with my work.

I think I need an ativan.

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Aw big hugs Jilly. I'm so sorry about your MIL. It's so stressful waiting for things to happen so you can get your life rolling along.

I am starting an official diet tomorrow - so that's a little stressful. I just keep thinking about how much fun last week was though - and the other things that are going well.

Once I'm cutting calories - OY!!! I'll be posting here every 20 minutes!


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hello my name is jacster . Iam a 43 yr old lesbian , who's partner died eight weeks ago at home . We need to have a coroners inquest , due to having no cause of death . i have a few problems at the minute with actually coming to terms with the situation .with grieving ,my mental health problems and not being able to let go .i was wondering if anyone could help as i feel as if i'm going mad . i have very good friends but feel i cant talk to them about my feelings properly . would welcome any advice

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Dear Jacster -

You are definitely dealing with a lot of things that are serious! It's no wonder you want to talk to someone about it all!

Eight weeks is only a drop in the bucket - I think you should give yourself a gentle hug and realize it takes a long time to get over a death. It will easily take longer than weight weeks. It is FINE that you are not over it yet. I don't know that the death of a partner is something you ever "get over". After a long while you may come to hurt less. Most people I know in that situation get to a point where they sort of accept it - but certainly are not "over" it.

Does your local area have any therapists or ministers or other groups you can talk to? There must be someone around that you can set up weekly meetings with ...?


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This week things are looking up for me and I feel hopeful. Things are starting to come together. This is huge for me.

Unfortunately while working on all these important personal health things, work is once again falling behind. Anyone have advice on how to reconcile these areas right now?

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Dear Jill -

That sounds like a great whole-thread topic to discuss prioritizing tasks in life!


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This week i am moving to LA for a few months. Moving is ALWAYS stressful, even when i am excited to do so.

I am trying to look at this as an adventure, since it's for a short period of time. More like a Southern CA adventure.

So right now I am packing like a fiend. (A red intellectual fiend, Lisa?)

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Tax deductions but I'm taking it one day at a time and releasing stress by procrastinating here in the forums and working out too. About to exercise right now to increase patience : )


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Well, I am enjoying hiking and exploring in LA, and managed to get myself a car to replace the dead one. Now my computer died. So that is this week's stress. I fantasize about going computerless but i know I'd go crazy in two days without one.:)

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A lot of exercise helps to reduce the hormone of desire

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Beating work deadlines has always been stressful for me...:( Never had a relaxing weekend for quite a while now.

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