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#589436 03/07/10 02:15 PM
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I just found out (through sonogram)that i lost my baby (14 weeks pregnant) there was no heart beat nor fetal movement. My doctor made me an appointment to see him in 2 weeks for more information. He wants me to pass my baby naturally. I am devastated by this I cant stop crying and i cant sleep at night. i saw a heart beat at 11 weeks and the baby was moving. what happens next if i don't pass the baby? i have to go back to work and my belly was starting to show and everyone at work will ask how is the baby etc . i have a hard time especially with this one woman from work who had LIED about her baby dieing at 9 weeks and she had to have a d & c to clean her out. i caught her in a lie 3 weeks later when she said "well i just had my abortion i cant afford the baby etc" ( i am pro life but i do not knock any one who wants to get an abortion) DO NOT LIE ABOUT IT! i understand people have choices and that is one they can choose. im not knocking people who get abortions but it makes me really mad she lied about it and i am faced with the fact that instead of what she lied about "my babies heart beat was not strong my baby died at 9 weeks etc" it happened to me instead.i haven't even passed my baby yet and am 14 weeks. i don't know how to deal with this. i am not dealing very well. i tried going to another website and asked for help or comments and no one even replied. i goggled info and this website came up. please some one help me i need closure and until the baby passes i wont have it. none of my friends have ever gone through this so i am alone in this. thank you for any input or advice!

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So sorry for your loss. I lost my baby a little over a month ago. My doctor encouraged me to have a D&C and not to wait naturally. Did your doctor present that as and option? I am also located in Florida (Port St Lucie to be exact). I know this is so hard and am available if you need someone to write/talk with.

inHimalone #590314 03/11/10 11:11 PM
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thank you for your reply. my dr said if i don't pass it by this Tuesday on my own he will do a d & c. i don't want one done i was hoping my body would do it on my own but i guess not. i just want to be able to have more children in the future and i heard a d & c can some times cause issues with fertility. i am sorry for your loss also. how far along were you. i think no matter how far along you are in pregnancy it still hurts and the sorrow is always going to be there. the dr told me it was due to genetics and i feel like its my fault. (when i know its not)im in tarpon springs area (which is near clear water/tampa.

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I was 11 weeks and my baby had not developed past 8 weeks. It is a very tough road. I blogged through a lot of my sorrow if you care to read it. BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

inHimalone #590869 03/15/10 11:19 PM
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Don't know how to do UBB code

inHimalone #592302 03/23/10 11:11 AM
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Kimberly, Don't be afraid of a D&C. It's much less evasive than you read online and will not increase your risks of infertility. In my case, I was diagnosed with my 2nd miscarriage last week. I chose to do another D&C, because I couldn't bare letting things happen naturally and needed closure quickly. Accepting the loss is hard enough let alone seeing it happen and trying to deal with it at home. I was only 9 weeks along and the embryo had only developed to 6 weeks. With the surgery, they will be able to do more extensive testing than before to determine what might have gone wrong. While I totally understand this is devistating, here is how I coped: 1. I took solace in the knowledge that I could get pregnant. 2. I knew that this happened for a reason (something was very wrong with the natural development of the baby). 3. Things looked up once I was able to resume my activities like running to get my frustrations and grief out. 4. Once the hormones left my body, I could evaluate the situation without their influence. (This was HUGE). 5. We have a wonderful support network of friends where we live which helps since our family is so far away. 6. I put my focus into other areas of my life to help time pass. Waiting things out is really the hardest part especially when you wanted your baby so much. I can totally relate and will be thinking of you as we wait too. We plan on having tests done to determine if there is any intervention that can help me next time. As my wonderful neighbor said, "Everything happens for a reason." She has had some very difficult things go on in her life that have tested this cliche saying and things really have gone well for her. I know that everyone seems to make out pregnancy as being a breeze once you get that double pink line. We are proof that things are not so simple; however, we will survive and be better for the experience no matter how tough. All my best...

Matojack #593669 04/01/10 03:57 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss! My story is the same - I lost my baby at nineth week.Doctors said that baby had died at sixth.Sixth week seems to be a crucial point. I had a d &c.Now hopping to recover & start all over again. Today my baby could be 12 weeks ... Wish to all of you to get over it!

oksana #601577 05/21/10 10:24 PM
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I just found out yesterday that I lost my baby at eighth week. I was already 13 weeks. The ultrasound result was that my baby had no heartbeat and have stopped developing. I am scheduled for a D&C in 4 days. My doc wish that my body would take it's course and pass it through by itself, but by Tuesday she would like me to have the surgery or else there's a chance of infection. I heard it's painful to pass it naturally. Either way I wish you the best and know that you are not alone. Thanks for sharing your story and hope we can support each other.

feb6 #601578 05/21/10 10:27 PM
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How long does the surgery take? Getting nervous just thinking about it. Does it hurt during or after wards? What are some of the things you find helpful to get through the aftermath of the surgery?

feb6 #603418 06/04/10 10:53 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss! I found out on May 21 that my Baby did not have a heartbeat. It passed away at 8 weeks (was my 11 week U/S appointment) I chose to wait for a natural miscarriage which happened on May 29. I had no pain at all but went to the ER just to make sure that everything came out. The waiting was very hard for me, but I am glad I did. This was my third miscarriage in a row ( 2 very early before 6 weeks) How are you doing Feb6?

Last edited by Titania; 06/04/10 01:34 PM.
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