I just found out (through sonogram)that i lost my baby (14 weeks pregnant) there was no heart beat nor fetal movement. My doctor made me an appointment to see him in 2 weeks for more information. He wants me to pass my baby naturally. I am devastated by this I cant stop crying and i cant sleep at night. i saw a heart beat at 11 weeks and the baby was moving. what happens next if i don't pass the baby? i have to go back to work and my belly was starting to show and everyone at work will ask how is the baby etc . i have a hard time especially with this one woman from work who had LIED about her baby dieing at 9 weeks and she had to have a d & c to clean her out. i caught her in a lie 3 weeks later when she said "well i just had my abortion i cant afford the baby etc" ( i am pro life but i do not knock any one who wants to get an abortion) DO NOT LIE ABOUT IT! i understand people have choices and that is one they can choose. im not knocking people who get abortions but it makes me really mad she lied about it and i am faced with the fact that instead of what she lied about "my babies heart beat was not strong my baby died at 9 weeks etc" it happened to me instead.i haven't even passed my baby yet and am 14 weeks. i don't know how to deal with this. i am not dealing very well. i tried going to another website and asked for help or comments and no one even replied. i goggled info and this website came up. please some one help me i need closure and until the baby passes i wont have it. none of my friends have ever gone through this so i am alone in this.
thank you for any input or advice!
Posted By: inHimalone
Re: miscarriage - 03/11/10 01:54 AM
So sorry for your loss. I lost my baby a little over a month ago. My doctor encouraged me to have a D&C and not to wait naturally. Did your doctor present that as and option?
I am also located in Florida (Port St Lucie to be exact). I know this is so hard and am available if you need someone to write/talk with.
thank you for your reply. my dr said if i don't pass it by this Tuesday on my own he will do a d & c. i don't want one done i was hoping my body would do it on my own but i guess not. i just want to be able to have more children in the future and i heard a d & c can some times cause issues with fertility. i am sorry for your loss also. how far along were you. i think no matter how far along you are in pregnancy it still hurts and the sorrow is always going to be there. the dr told me it was due to genetics and i feel like its my fault. (when i know its not)im in tarpon springs area (which is near clear water/tampa.
Posted By: inHimalone
Re: miscarriage - 03/16/10 03:16 AM
I was 11 weeks and my baby had not developed past 8 weeks. It is a very tough road. I blogged through a lot of my sorrow if you care to read it. BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!
Posted By: inHimalone
Re: miscarriage - 03/16/10 03:19 AM
Don't know how to do UBB code
Posted By: Matojack
Re: miscarriage - 03/23/10 03:11 PM
Don't be afraid of a D&C. It's much less evasive than you read online and will not increase your risks of infertility. In my case, I was diagnosed with my 2nd miscarriage last week. I chose to do another D&C, because I couldn't bare letting things happen naturally and needed closure quickly. Accepting the loss is hard enough let alone seeing it happen and trying to deal with it at home. I was only 9 weeks along and the embryo had only developed to 6 weeks. With the surgery, they will be able to do more extensive testing than before to determine what might have gone wrong.
While I totally understand this is devistating, here is how I coped:
1. I took solace in the knowledge that I could get pregnant.
2. I knew that this happened for a reason (something was very wrong with the natural development of the baby).
3. Things looked up once I was able to resume my activities like running to get my frustrations and grief out.
4. Once the hormones left my body, I could evaluate the situation without their influence. (This was HUGE).
5. We have a wonderful support network of friends where we live which helps since our family is so far away.
6. I put my focus into other areas of my life to help time pass.
Waiting things out is really the hardest part especially when you wanted your baby so much. I can totally relate and will be thinking of you as we wait too. We plan on having tests done to determine if there is any intervention that can help me next time.
As my wonderful neighbor said, "Everything happens for a reason." She has had some very difficult things go on in her life that have tested this cliche saying and things really have gone well for her.
I know that everyone seems to make out pregnancy as being a breeze once you get that double pink line. We are proof that things are not so simple; however, we will survive and be better for the experience no matter how tough.
All my best...
Posted By: oksana
Re: miscarriage - 04/01/10 07:57 PM
I'm sorry for your loss! My story is the same - I lost my baby at nineth week.Doctors said that baby had died at sixth.Sixth week seems to be a crucial point. I had a d &c.Now hopping to recover & start all over again. Today my baby could be 12 weeks ... Wish to all of you to get over it!
Posted By: feb6
Re: miscarriage - 05/22/10 02:24 AM
I just found out yesterday that I lost my baby at eighth week. I was already 13 weeks. The ultrasound result was that my baby had no heartbeat and have stopped developing. I am scheduled for a D&C in 4 days. My doc wish that my body would take it's course and pass it through by itself, but by Tuesday she would like me to have the surgery or else there's a chance of infection. I heard it's painful to pass it naturally. Either way I wish you the best and know that you are not alone. Thanks for sharing your story and hope we can support each other.
Posted By: feb6
Re: miscarriage - 05/22/10 02:27 AM
How long does the surgery take? Getting nervous just thinking about it. Does it hurt during or after wards? What are some of the things you find helpful to get through the aftermath of the surgery?
Posted By: Titania
Re: miscarriage - 06/04/10 02:53 PM
I am so sorry for your loss!
I found out on May 21 that my Baby did not have a heartbeat. It passed away at 8 weeks (was my 11 week U/S appointment)
I chose to wait for a natural miscarriage which happened on May 29. I had no pain at all but went to the ER just to make sure that everything came out.
The waiting was very hard for me, but I am glad I did.
This was my third miscarriage in a row ( 2 very early before 6 weeks)
How are you doing Feb6?
I know exactly how you feel. I wasn't really able to share my feelings of my two miscarriages to anyone. After I miscarried my last baby, I was lucky to find a forum like this one where I was able to talk to another woman that had been through a similiar circumstance. The first baby I lost was in 2006. I was about 9 weeks but the baby had just stopped developing. The last one was in Feb 2008. I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I went to the doctor thinking everything was going to be alright. I was finding out the sex of my baby that day. I couldn't have been more devastated when they told me that they couldn't find a heartbeat and that my baby had died inside the womb. I think the emotional pain was the hardest that I have ever had to endure. It has been 2 years now and I haven't been able to get pregnant. I am almost 39 and I am blessed to already have children that are healthy but it was heartbreaking to have to go through these 2 miscarriages. We never think that it can happen to us but it can. I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words that can express how hard it is to lose a child. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and if you ever need someone to talk to, i will be more than happy to talk to you.
Posted By: Ann-Marie79
Re: miscarriage - 06/13/10 10:40 PM
Hi everyone - just got on to this now -- was lost and didn't know where to turn.. I miscarriaged 4 weeks ago, a missed miscarriage - but it was particalary horrendous becaue agter 3 scans (because of bleeding) the 3 scans showed very different things - first one showed baby heart beat (10 weeks preg) - told to go home everything is fine, then next scan showed no foetus, empty baby sac -- then told miscarrying to go home and come in for final confirmation scan that showed foetus and sac -- but went home and after a day of intense labour pains, starting haemorging and rushed to a&e where I was given pethadine injections for 3 days and finally had d&c 15the may - 4 weeks ago. On sat night last week i start hameorging again and passed a massive clot size of my fist, kept clotting and bleeding and went to a&e where they said i still have pregnancy hormones, hcg levels which is not normal 4 weeks after d&c. Gave me scan and they see something but don't know what it is. So tomorrow have to go for proper clear scan - and they are testing level of hcg hormones... i'm totally freaking out -- it brings up a lot of horrible questions as in -- did i actually need d&c? why didn't it clear all material? what did i pass on saturday night - my poor baby that was not given a chance - or just material that should have been cleared at d&c?... i have a 10 year old beautiful son at home -- but i feel although so blessed to have him.. really strange about the baby i've lost and wanted so badly and what the hell has actually happened to my body. I'm being told everything is abnormal - from full blown labour pains, to still passing clots after d&c... i might have a womb infection but how long have i had this and would this cause infertility??? i have tried to cope with the emotional pain, physical pain -- but all of this is now finally freaking me out totally..... very confused and sad -- and although i have support, people don't know what to say - they feel awkward... any advice ladies, or thoughts...?
Posted By: Lori3
Re: miscarriage - 06/25/10 04:21 PM
I, too, am dealing with the loss of a pregnancy. I am 39, like Bonnie, and miscarried at almost 10 weeks on March 4, 2010. I have two boys, 12 and 9, and this pregnancy was a complete surprise! We found out I had a blighted ovum and I chose to let the miscarriage happen naturally...I had to wait over 2 weeks which was torture. My husband didn't want to try again, but I did. Needless to say, we waited 3 months to decide on birth control and didn't really use protection during that time. We didn't get pregnant so I am getting ready to go back on the pill. I have times when I am ok and other times when I just cry. I have times when I want to get pregnant and other times when I don't. I am a teacher and there are a lot of young women having babies all around me and it's torture! I guess I'm jealous and want what I lost.
Posted By: Lori3
Re: miscarriage - 06/25/10 04:24 PM
I guess I worry about my age and have that added pressure of knowing I can't wait a year or two to see if the desire for a baby is still there and then try again to get pregnant.