BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Question about childfree women and sex

I'd like to add a little more information. I'm the first to admit that I had a lot of "fun," so to speak, as a youngster, but it was all a learning experience. I never really dated in high school, and when I got to college, I didn't really care to much about having a relationship. Not ever having had a "real relationship" (if anything in high school can really be called such a thing), I didn't have much to compare it to. Let's put it this way, when my 16 year old niece sheepishly asked me my views on sex (I love being the cool aunt), I gave her the straight truth: "I've had sex with guys whose names I can't even remember, and I have sex with one man who I love more than anything. Given the choice, I'd always choose the latter." I'm not ashamed or regretful of the way I have lived my life. All roads led here, and here is wonderful. Beside, what if I had never had the courage to pick up my husband at that party? I'd of missed out on something great!

No not at all. When I was intimate with someone I always developed feelings (i'm married now). I may shudder at the thought of motherhood, but I could never have done the whole "friends with benefits" thing without feeling hurt.

I have always been a very sexual person, and I have had a few different partners in my life. I haven't been in love with all of them, and a lot of the time I just slept with them because I felt like it and the opportunity presented itself. I was never into one night stands, but I had a few casual, fun relationships in which I felt affection, but didn't get too emotionally invested. I have been able to enjoy great sex and plenty of orgasms without love or commitment. I also had a few long-ish term relationships in which I developed strong feelings for the man in question, but I usually wound up getting hurt when I fell in love. Partly because of that, I decided to just relax and enjoy the sex without any illusions of the relationship going anywhere. Also, most of the men I dated eventually told me that they wanted kids, and since I didn't want kids EVER, I assumed that my relationships just wouldn't last. When I met my husband, he was initially a conquest for me. He was in the process of getting a divorce, which usually means trouble for someone looking for long-term love. What started as a sex/affection fling turned into full-blown love, and five years later, we're still together and the sex is absolutely amazing. When we were dating, and he casually told me he didn't want kids (part of the reason for his divorce was that she wanted kids and he didn't) I was thrilled! I started thinking, hmm, maybe I could be childfree AND have a long term relationship.