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Mazzelyn, your beginning is impressive. Your description of the Amazon enabled me to picture it perfectly in my mind as I read. I'm not real sure what genre of story your book is meant to be, maybe a mystery? (I really like mysteries.) If not a mystery, then what type of book is it?

You said you have your entire book plotted/outlined, but are having trouble writing it. Since this is your 5th or so attempt at the beginning (a very good attempt), I have a suggestion. Sit down and write the rest of the book straight through, then you can go back and see where changes need to be made. If you stay on the beginning until it satisfies you, then you may never finish the book.

As I said before, this version of the beginning is great. I've not seen the other attempts, but if they are written in a way similar to this one, then I'm pretty sure they are good as well.

I enjoyed it as well. Very descriptive. I could really picture myself there. Follow Lisa's advice about just writing it through. I have stopped several times in my writings to reread stuff and fix it and I am my own worse critic, just as I am sure you are. I never finish what I start when I stop and read. Never.

Now I am writing it to finish and will proofread after that to make changes.

Thank you both so much - this is really encouraging and makes me feel like I'm on the right track. Encouragement is what I needed because on the first couple of drafts, I posted them to other writer's forums and got totally blasted. It really hurt my writing ego and made writing that much harder (because then you end up obsessing - is this good, or is this not good). But, a writer needs to fall off the horse sometimes. It's the only way to learn! I will make every effort to keep going. Do you find that you have good days and bad days? Some days it just flows and all the words come out like magic (in the zone), but other days it's like I'm working through mud and nothing at all sounds like what I had intended it to say.

Some of the people who participate in writer's forums can be cruel. Why? Well, maybe they are jealous of how well you write, or maybe they are upset because someone gave them a harsh review. Or they could just simply have had a bad day. In this forum, you will receive an honest critique. If there are any mistakes in your writing that need to be pointed out, they will be pointed out in a kind and gentle manner. There is absolutely no need to be cruel in any way to someone who is trying his or her absolute best. I know that each of us could stand to do better with certain parts of our writing. We are here to help each other, not to cut each other down.

All of us have bad days and lots of distractions when it comes to our writing. It seems as though some days are made up of nothing but distractions, whether they be from other people, the phone, situations, from things going on in our lives, or just that we simply can't focus on our writing. Through it all, though, we need to keep writing. On the good days, go back through what you have written on your bad days. You may find some gems hidden amongst the words you have etched out in the mud.

You have talent - let no one tell you any different. Keep on writing. Don't obsess too much over your writing. Just a little will keep you on your toes, but too much will only slow you down.

Don't give up on your writing and please post more of it here. I would really like to see more of the book you are writing.