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#575066 01/03/10 04:45 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 87
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 87
It's been a while since I've been able to get back around these parts, as my internet access is almost zero these days. Everytime I come here, though, I'm encouraged by the open and honest discussion and at the same time completely disheartened by all of the "I don't, but my husband/partner does" stories that are tearing lives apart. It just makes me want to shake my fists in anger that people would hold a human life over others as though it is a simple object to be acquired. I do not want children, but never EVER could I imagine using them as a bargaining chip. It's so violently wrong.

For my part, I have made arrangements through my VA provider to get a tubal ligation performed this month. While I'm not in a relationship now (and my history thereof is dodgy at best!), I feel no small relief that this will be the step I need to take to insure that an unwanted pregnancy will never be in my future. I've been on the pill for ages and will remain on it after, simply because it controls my periods so nicely, but that slim percentage of ineffectiveness never sat well with me. My mom taught me not to do anything half way, so here goes...

My heart goes out to the women who feel torn and conflicted, who have been forced into motherhood against their wills, and who, like me, continue to brave the battlefield of questions about when it will be our turn. It it my sincere hope that those who are struggling and having struggle thrust upon them find the peace and resolution that best befits them. God(s) bless you, ladies.

That's all I wanted to say.

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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Posts: 130
Good to hear from you, Apple Blossom! Thank you for such a beautiful post. I am happy for you!

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 192
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Congrats on getting the Tubal. I had to yell at 13 different doctors before I was able to get one, because I was only 24 and childfree. It took my husband coming in to yell with me! I know how you feel about the "slim percentage" of failure. Unfortunately for me, one of the reasons I pushed so hard to get a tubal is because I was running out of BC options (that's a whole other long story). I ended up pregnant twice, and subsequently terminating 2 pregnancies, because no doctor would tie my tubes. They didn't even care how many abortions I had had or was willing to have, they all kept saying "you are young, you may still change your mind!" In any event, my husband and I have no regrets. And, if I happen to be that 1 in 400 whose tubal fails, I'm glad I live in a country where I have the right to a safe procedure. Good luck!

Joined: Dec 2009
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 54
Glad to hear your good news Apple Blossom! Would those of you who have managed to get tubals mind telling me which country you live in and how you managed to get them? (PM me if you'd rather) I'm sicking of yelling at doctors and getting a tubal ligation when you're in your 20s in the UK is beginning to look impossible! Thanks!

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 87
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 87
For my part, I'm in the U.S., and getting it done through my Veteran's Benefits (the only way it would be possible seeing as how I have no other health care). However, I'm also 31 years old and my doc did tell me that this would have been a trickier discussion if I was younger because the chance for regret is high. Even though that would never have been an issue with me, I guess they still have to cover themselves and at least say it.

However, the fact that your docs are giving you so much grief - that's just all kinds of bollocks and I can't believe they're doing that. Do you have any kind of women's advocacy groups or any Planned Parenthood-like organizations in the UK?

I really hope you can find what you need. I knew a long time ago that I wouldn't ever want children and I think it's a positive step to assert your decision by eliminating the chance. One less thing to worry about in a world driven mad my uncertainty!

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 397
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Shark
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Posts: 397
Hey, good for you appleblossom!


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