BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids The things I go through to relate

Tim's Girl,
I think of my pets as family too. and they have a dependent relationship to me because I take care of them, but they are not my "children" in the sense that children-crazy people fawn and make gaga over human children. My MIL is baby-CRAZY and treats her new puppy like a newborn infant. It is sickening and truly is messed up.
I think cats can be "babied" more safely than dogs. This puppy in question is a German Shepherd and is already 55 pounds and out of control. Cesar Milan would give up and walk away from my MIL.

I have got nothing BUT Love and Joy from all my pets. People are opposite, for me anyway.

Once when one of my baby iguanas died in my arms I sobbed for days. I mean gut-wrenching sobbing. I couldn't eat or sleep and I was devasted for a long time. he was such a Joy to take care of. He always made me laugh when I'd be standing at the sink doing dishes and he'd run up my leg, back then sit on my head and watch. They like to watch you do stuff.

The only way I can get over the grief of losing a pet is to get another baby ASAP.

Heretotalk:
I don't see the connection between people having pets and people not wanting kids. Most people who have and love pets have children too. It is a human thing to feel love for others, especially if they are dependent, helpless and cute. Most people are willing to have that in the form of children, and will go as far as to lose their freedom, sleep, peace of mind, time with partner to get it.... Others will make do with pets because dogs, cats or iguanas are not so high maintenance as kids. There are also people who love animals so much that they will have one in their life to share that with his/her children.
The difference between having children and pets is one of degree: it depends to a certain extent on our commitment capability. If my own theory is true, I must have serious commitment issues lol. I never had pets growing up, my parents wouldn't let me: too much work. In my early twenties I had a cat, I loved her more that I love most human beings, when she died I cried my eyes out for days. I was devastated. I've never had a pet again. Their lives are too short, and then, once I got used to the no-cat situation again, I started to enjoy the freedom to plan holidays and weekends without having to organize all around my precious. It didn't bother me that much at the time, but I wouldn't do it again.

To Kittoze:
I never ever understood the joys people experiment when they get pregnant or have kids. I also had a friend who went to in-vitro, and it was a mistery to me why some one would go through so much just for a baby. As much as I like cats and dogs, I never ever would want to give birth to one lol. So I just learned all the cliches and used them for all the baby situations. Of course I would never go as far as to ask if I can have it in my arms, or make questions about the particulars of pregnancy and birth. My faking ability has a limit! The best thing, when I expressed my true feelings about the whole thing to some friend: they would think I was pretty much pretending, and that I was saying that I did not want children because I had not met the right man or because I was too young or because I liked to play being differen rrrrrr!!!!

I have to agree with not getting the whole 'I have to have a baby' thing. Especially the need to birth your own. I just can't see why you would go to all that expense, trouble, and emotional pain when there are so many children who could use a good home!

So, Kittoze, I totally get about how you have to detach yourself from the true nature of the conversation in order to think of something appropriate and sincere to say to friends. It's really hard sometimes...

As to not feeling anything for kids... if liking kids was scaled on 1 to 10, where 10 is absolute adoration, 5 is toleration, and 1 is extreme dislike, I fall pretty close to the 1. Sometimes I wish I were different (it would sure make family relations easier) and sometimes I thinks it makes my husband a tad uncomfortable with how much I detest them, but I just can't help it. Get bullied the way I did through school and see how hearing children's laughter can affect you! Funny, even on this form I find myself censoring what I say in order to be 'acceptable.'

Karen, on that scale, I am a zero. Like you said, sometimes I wish I felt at least a little bit of tolerance for kids...just to show everyone I'm not an evil person, I just don't like kids at all. But that's the way I am.

LadyLvsNyt (I keep having to scroll up and scroll back down to type your name right! Haha), it's good to know the details on your opinion. Although I respected your opinion, I wondered how you could judge someone else's feelings, especially being child-free and being judged yourself, but it's good to know your mother-in-law's relationship with her dogs is just weird to you rather than unacceptable. I treat my cats as family, as a parent would treat their human child, but trust me...I don't like the over the top cooing, either.

Navigaar, I could copy and paste your post and add in a different animal. I've had many people with close connections to me pass away, then I've had animals pass away. When the people die...I just want to say, "Okay, so what...let's move on." It doesn't bother me. I had chickens when I was in middle school, and the death of my runt hen, ChiChi, sent me into a deep depression amoung other things that lasted until two years ago. I felt guilty over her death for seven years...I couldn't eat for days after her death...I wanted to pass myself, even staying at Children's Hospital for suicidal reasons. All this sounds ridiculous for someone who doesn't believe that a person can have a deep connection with an animal (let alone a chicken), but I've been through it and the mourning stages are intense. I've never felt anything for any human other than my husband...the rest of my deep relationships have been with animals. I may be weird, but I'm guessing you agree when I say I wouldn't have it any other way.