BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement Recovering from a loved one's suicide

I have actually been trying for a couple of years now to write a book on dealing with my Depression and Bi-Polar as a Christian.

The one chapter that IS finished is the one on suicide.

I know that some denominations teach that suicide is an unforgivable sin, because you cannot ask for forgiveness from God before death.

But, I have always believed that God is more compassionate than that. He knows what pain someone is in. He knows if a person is not capable of making a rational decision. He knows if someone is sick.

He is not going to punish someone to Hell because they suffer from a disease that is every bit as real as cancer or AIDS.

I have the comfort of knowing that my Step Dad is at one with the universe again and that he is no longer in pain.
I know someone who is planning to take their own life when the time comes and I support them 100 percent.Why? Because they are dying of cancer and she wants to die with dignity. People have their animals put to sleep when they are in great pain but we let our loved ones suffer... Religion should NEVER have any place in law making and politics.
Sorry I have kind of gone off topic.

I am so sorry for your loss. Honoring Memories is an online memorial organization which sets the standard for providing high quality, unique memorials to individuals and families empowering them find the needed way to remember and honor their loved ones. We strive to connect with, grieve with, laugh with, and uplift the lives of our customers. We value, above all, our ability to serve everyone who can benefit from our product. Our company has established a giving program focusing on the communities where we live and do business, and is concentrated in three major areas: research, development and patient care. BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

I am so sorry for your loss. Honoring Memories (HonoringMemories.org) is an online memorial organization which sets the standard for providing high quality, unique memorials to individuals and families empowering them find the needed way to remember and honor their loved ones. We strive to connect with, grieve with, laugh with, and uplift the lives of our customers. We value, above all, our ability to serve everyone who can benefit from our product. Our company has established a giving program focusing on the communities where we live and do business, and is concentrated in three major areas: research, development and patient care. Best Wishes.

michelle, what a gift your post is! to finally have a glimmer of understanding as to why suicide is accaomplished - you have blessed us richly. we're SO glad you're still here!!!

I am so sorry for your loss, suicide is never an easy thing to deal with. A close family friend's son committed suicide over 20 years ago now and the shock still resonates through those who were involved. I hope though that as the years pass it will get a little easier for you though the anniversary and birthday will probably always be difficult. I don't think one ever gets over the loss of a loved one, particularly if sudden death is involved and especially if it's suicide.

My brother-in-law took his life in January 2005. To say it was unexpected would be a gross understatement. My daughter was severely traumatized, so I gave her only generalities. Fighting cocaine addiction and bi-polar, I knew she wasn't stable enough for the details.

A few months ago I was visiting, and she asked me point blank, "How did he die?" The time was right. Yes, there was anger at my waiting, but I reminded her of the state she was in when he passed. We talked a bit more and she asked, "How are you handling this?" I can only thank the Creator for what unconsciously popped out of my mouth.

"You practice forgiveness."

When we loose a loved one, (in any way) there seems to be so much blame and guilt. This is truly exacerbated with a suicide. We may blame the loved one for what we perceive as selfishness and inconsideration. We may blame ourselves for not recognizing warning signs, although there may not have been any.
We may blame medical professionals for lack of diagnosis.

We can get overwhelmed, consumed and then someone says "you'll get to 'Acceptance' and it's the last part." Well, no one ever told me Forgiveness was such a huge part of the Acceptance stage. And it certainly didn't come in a flash. It definitely had to be practiced, sometimes daily or hourly.

We will never be able to fathom the mindset of our loved ones who leave us in this way. Once I worked through forgiving my brother-in-law, myself, and anyone else I could think of for all perceivable faults, I finally made it to "Acceptance." But more importantly, relinquishing the blame through forgiveness made room for some much-needed Peace. With the Peace came some much-needed Strength to help my sister and niece as they continue on.