BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Stress and Forgiving Others

I definitely agree that a key part of being healthy is to have healthy things going into your system.

But it's amazing how many studies tie illnesses to stress. Even if you eat very well, you can wear your body down with stress and anger and hostility. You overwhelm your own body!

It's something that each of us can change within our own minds.

i love this quotes about forgiveness
"To err is human; to forgive is divine" by Alexander Pope

to forgive sometimes is very hard to do, if the pain is very deep. but we must also learn to forgive others, even if it hard to do it. God loves the humble and people who forgive others

Wow, I just read this thread and it really hit home. An incident happened to me just two months ago and I'm dealing with all of this. Forgiving and forgeting is difficult.

In the past, actually my childhood, I faced a lot of difficult with situations. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember, but I ended up turning all those situations (not abusive) into humor and wrote teen books based on these experiences. I didn't realize it at first, but it turned into something very theraputic and although I obviously didn't forget, I was able to forgive and move past it and use it to my advantage. While i'm on the quest for finding an agent presently, I think it would be absolutley amazing to see my story in print someday. I feel like it could help other young girls cope with difficult situations and try to find the positive outcome.

it isn't what happens to you, but how you feel about what happens to you that makes the difference.

Memories are nothing more than electrical firings in the brain. Everytime you remember something it can invoke the same feelings you had at the moment it happened. A person may hurt you once, but every time you think of it you hurt again. But, that person is not causing that hurt.. you are.

5 people in the same situation will have 5 reactions and 5 different feelings about it. We choose how to feel about things. We could easily choose to see it differently. It is our thoughts that causes the anger, not the situation.
If someone hurt me once, why not forgive them. If they continually have rude and hurtful words and actions. I just remove myself from the situation. No anger, no revenge. I just do what is best for me. I try not to attach my emotions to other peoples actions.
I am responsibile for how I interact with the world, and they are responsible for how they interact. One does not have any reflection on the other.

The truth is... if that person is not in the room. If they are not saying hurtful things to you, right now, in this moment and you are feeling pain. Then thy are not causing your pain.. you are. We have to be responsible for our own emotions and reactions. Only then are we able to forgive.

A woman is sitting in a room knitting, another woman opens the door and immediatly starts ranting and raving at the woman. There is absolutly no way the knitting woman caused this. She wasn't present TO cause it. The anger the woman feels is anger she built up on her own, inside of herself. She chose to act in this manner and to feel this way.
When we hold on to anger we are doing the same thing. We are building up our own anger at someone who is not present. We are creating our own pain. We are choosing to hurt.

Please don't be offended by my blunt words. This is the speech I have to give myself from time to time. Thought it was worth sharing

Bylen

Stress is simply a fact of nature�forces from the outside world affecting the individual. The individual responds to stress in ways that affect the individual as well as their environment.

Hence, all living creatures are in a constant interchange with their surroundings (the ecosystem), both physically and behaviorally. This interplay of forces, or energy, is of course present in the relationships between all matter in the universe, whether it is living (animate) or not living (inanimate).

However, there are critical differences in how different living creatures relate to their environment. These differences have far-reaching consequences for survival. Because of the overabundance of stress in our modern lives, we usually think of stress as a negative experience, but from a biological point of view, stress can be a neutral, negative, or positive

Stress has driven evolutionary change (the development and natural selection of species over time). Thus, the species that adapted best to the causes of stress (stressors) have survived and evolved into the plant and animal kingdoms we now observe.

Man is the most adaptive creature on the planet because of the evolution of the human brain, especially the part called the neo-cortex. This adaptability is largely due to the changes and stressors that we have faced and mastered.

Therefore, we, unlike other animals, can live in any climate or ecosystem, at various altitudes, and avoid the danger of predators.


way to quit smoking

I was abused by my family growing up...I will spare the details but lets say it was just something most would not believe and some may even call me a liar or crazy even. I had grown to be angry and hurt most of my life, then when I got married and moved away...I started to heal some. I got some theraphy, have my own loving family now and now struggle with friendships, but I am trying very hard and I think I am making SLOW but steady progress...how to forgive them? My parents who ruined most of my life who always came out looking as if they were the victims, to this day baffles me. They are church goers and people love them. What people do not know is what I had to live with all my life and still carry... I could never do half of what they did to me, to any living thing....GOD will receive them but not me, cause I seriously doubt now that he exists...I am trying hard to not take things personally, not get hurt, to not feel so different from the human race and to be normal....its been 44 years and I am still struggling...I prayed all my life and I never heard GODs voice...and I am told its me not him...its always me here,always.

Forgiveness is not for me but I also know that I have to move on because I will only hurt myself so I will get over it but not by forgiving.