Stress and Forgiving Others - 06/18/08 02:25 AM
I imagine just about every one of us can think of a time that someone did something to us and did not apologize for it. For some of us, it was a very serious incident in our past, one that still torments and haunts us in our current life.
Often we can't sleep, we feel very upset, angry, furious. We want them to apologize, to take responsibility for what they've done. We want them to admit they were wrong.
All of that stress and anger and trauma in our bodies only hurts *us*. The person in question doesn't care! It is our bodies worn down by the stress hormones. Our lack of sleep affecting our health. Our high blood pressure damaging our systems. While they might be the "cause" - long ago in our past - we are the one being damaged by our current replaying and replaying of that issue.
This has been an extremely difficult issue for me personally to address. It has taken me a long time to realize that it is for my own health that I need to forgive. It's not about saying "they were right to do what they did". It's about saying "I am going to put it in my past." It's not that I trust that person going forward. But I don't actively feel negatively about the past situation. I put it into a "it's in the past, and it's over" category.
Do you have situations like this in your life? Do you think you can make headway into putting it into your own past, and moving on with your future? Or do you sort of "define" yourself by that pain?
Often we can't sleep, we feel very upset, angry, furious. We want them to apologize, to take responsibility for what they've done. We want them to admit they were wrong.
All of that stress and anger and trauma in our bodies only hurts *us*. The person in question doesn't care! It is our bodies worn down by the stress hormones. Our lack of sleep affecting our health. Our high blood pressure damaging our systems. While they might be the "cause" - long ago in our past - we are the one being damaged by our current replaying and replaying of that issue.
This has been an extremely difficult issue for me personally to address. It has taken me a long time to realize that it is for my own health that I need to forgive. It's not about saying "they were right to do what they did". It's about saying "I am going to put it in my past." It's not that I trust that person going forward. But I don't actively feel negatively about the past situation. I put it into a "it's in the past, and it's over" category.
Do you have situations like this in your life? Do you think you can make headway into putting it into your own past, and moving on with your future? Or do you sort of "define" yourself by that pain?