BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Should I kick him to the curb?

It's obvious that the guy is a control freak and, if not already an abuser, is certainly headed in that direction. However, I would not kick him to the curb. Nope, I'd toss him in the back of my pickup and haul him off to the dump.

HI DMICHELLE,
Your very welcomed & thanks for what you said. It is normal to feel angry & want revenge. But it will pass. He does not sound worth it to me. Don't waste any more time being angry about him. Just try to learn something from it. It is up to you, but I would not give him another chance. To me it sounds like you gave him many, many chances. It is not up to us to "fix" every broken person. You also can't make things work with people who are like he is. His problems are more serious than the normal insecurity that we all have at times.

Most of us know that we can't change other people. They will only change if they want to & have certain consequences in their lives. This was not a 1 time incident. People can say they are sorry many times & never really mean it. It is their actions that can tell you alot about a person. He needs therapy. You can't help him. You really dont' want to be with a man that you have to be careful of what you say or do that might aggravagte him & set him off in some way. You dont' owe him anything or any more of your time. Take care of yourself. The best of luck to you. Judy K. Chicago.

I pray everyday to have the confidence that you have. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and should have kicked him to the curb many times. I just can't seem to do it. Do it.

Kharma, read what Judy has to say. She is full of wisdom, and had I not done it already, I would have after reading her advice. He had brutal disregard for my feelings most of the time. It's been three weeks and with each day, my memory of him and anger toward him fades away. This might sound corny but every time I think of him I push him out of my mind by repeating the "Lords Prayer". He would be nice and caring for awhile then would deliberately say or do things emotionally devastating. It's no different than getting punched once every few months/weeks. If you are with someone like that you must have the courage to leave and have no further contact with the abuser.

You got that right. FYI...I DUMPED all his [censored] in my yard for him to pick up, and it felt great. Kinda like the scene from "Waiting to Exhale" where she throws everything in his car and lights it on fire. I didn't burn anything but I didn't fold anything either. WOO HOO!

HI,
Thanks again, DMichelle for what you said about me. That was nice to hear. But you know, we all have some wisdom. Sometimes it takes time to find it. Good for you to not have him in your life anymore. I know in the past I put up with too much from certain people. I did learn that I did not want to put up with certain things & I did not have to. That is so wonderful that you say the Lord's prayer when those thoughts come up.

Also the more that a person puts up with this, it gives the other person power over you in a way. They see that the person will stay & put up with it, so they continue to do the same things & it does get worse. I think that many of us had these experiences where we just kept putting up with someone. Now that you know what you dont' want, things will get much better for you in every way. Hugs & support, Judy K.

Llyn.....you are tooo funny!!!