BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Wondering if I should keep doing MNK

I'd like to remind people that this is not about censorship, which a number of you are confusing this with. This is about talking decently in a public place.

If this was a Christian forum and someone was calling Jews "kikes", then it would be inappropriate.

If this was a Chinese forum and someone was calling African-Americans "niggers" then that would be inappropriate.

That's not censorship - that's healthy speaking in public.

If someone really talks that way when they hang out with friends, then that would be something they could chose to do with those friends off-line, but that type of derogatory speech cannot be proper on a world wide forum.

It's not censorship. It is about talking appropriately for a world wide audience.

For example it is not censorship when patrons talk at a reasonable volume, and without swearing every word, when they go to a nice restaurant. It is about acting appropriately for a location where people from a variety of backgrounds are present. If someone wants to swear like a sailor in their own home, they certainly can!

I hope this makes the distinction more clear.

I realize there are a few active posters who feel they "must talk using inflammatory words" - but I want to explain that we get THOUSANDS of people through this forum every week who do *not* post because of that language. The language being used here is driving away huge numbers of married-no-kids people who desperately want to talk about being married without kids, but who are content with their status and have no desire to listen to angry "swearing" (in their minds) posts all day long. They are seeking healthy fun advice on being MNK. Instead all they're reading is rants against kids.

For a forum which is about enjoying a lifestyle without kids, pretty much every post *is* about kids and why they can act up. It's like if the only thing the cats forum talked about is all the times people saw dog owners with bad dogs.

So to those thousands of people, it's not about censorship at all. It's about leaving here because this feels like a hostile environment to them, unwelcoming to happy MNK people.

It's like a religion-tolerant person going into a room where people are talking about "kikes". They leave pretty quickly.

I hope this clears up the censorship misconception and makes the issue more clear.

Thousands of people a week choose not to post because they find this forum offensive? And each one of these people contacts you to tell you this? I'm afraid I find your claim very hard to believe. The way you describe this board simply does not tally with my experience of it. We cannot discuss being CF in a vacuum; it seems inevitable to me that some of the discussion touches on subjects such as parenting, especially since much of the pressure to reproduce comes from parents themselves.



If by "happy MNK people" you mean those who are childfree but worship at the altar of parenthood by refusing to say anything negative about parents, then you may well have a point. I think that perhaps those of us who are a little less sensitive and do not wish to live in a virtual happy land where people only ever mention positive things need to move on. No doubt this board will soon be repopulated by the thousands of previously disillusioned "happy MNK people". Gosh, given that the MNK board is already among the busiest by far with regular posters numbering in the dozens rather than thousands, Bella Online better get a bigger server.

For me it is about censorship. If I was having a private conversation in a low tone with my table at a restaurant, I would not want the people at the next table to lean over to listen and then complain about what I was talking about. Same as books, TV or movies. If you don't like it don't read or watch. Simple.

This is a specific forum for a specific demographic. The parents don't have to come here. They can go talk amongst themselves, which they should. We are NOT a freak-show that is okay to come by and ogle at.

We're not using "hate-speak", we are venting about situations here because we spend so much of our daily lives, biting our tongues to be polite. We need a place where we can truly express how we feel without being lambasted. We live in such a kid-centric society, a lot of things we feel cannot be expressed because we are the minority.

You used a much hated term that has been used for generations to put down people of colour. This same degoratory term is used as a term of endearment within the race. But....only people within that race are allowed to use it that way, lest they be deemed racist.

Same as in this forum, we are like-minded individuals that need a place where we don't need to tone down our feeling lest they hurt a parent's feelings. Parent's should NOT be in this forum if they are easily offended.

We are not talking to an audience, we are talking among friends!

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Wow - who ARE the active posters who feel they MUST talk using inflammatory words? I think we deserve an explanation.




Really? Huge numbers? This is the biggest forum on Bella. Or are you just trying to defend yourself because we've caught on that the other forums aren't as popular as this one?



This is a forum called Married No Kids. It's about everything that comes with not having kids. A lot of that has to do with the way that we are affected by people WITH kids. You don't seem to understand that.



Not according to Kim's post from two months ago which Myra discovered and kindly posted.

Also, I think there is a HUGE difference between calling someone a "breeder" and calling someone an "n-word", which I don't even feel comfortable using as an example.

I would also like to add AGAIN that this entire thing was brought up in a very inappropriate and disrespectful manner. If this is how we are "all the time" as you have insinuated, how come it was NEVER addressed before? And why do you refuse to address how appalled we all are? No, you keep coming up with all these "reasons" that I, for one, think are unfounded.

I have to assume that this forum is a business. Judging by a lot of the remarks and comments I can't imagine that this is a charity. Why on earth would you attack your biggest customer? We are the majority of Bella (make that were the majority). But once again.. since our views didn't match yours, we are attacked and discriminated against once again. I'm not surprised though.. it's the number one complaint we have. People that don't understand and so they get defensive.

And one more thing.. to compare out treatment of parents to how African Americans (notice the lack of your colorfull racist slur) were treated for so many generations is just pathetic. Parents arn't the ones being discriminated against, we are. That's like trying to come out and yell at African Americans for not agreeing with their white slave owners.

Wow Lisa. What can I say. For you, a famous song... (hope you can speak Italian)...

Bella ciao

Una mattina mi son svegliato,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
Una mattina mi son svegliato,
e ho trovato l'invasor.
O partigiano, portami via,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
O partigiano, portami via,
ch� mi sento di morir.
E se io muoio da partigiano,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
E se io muoio da partigiano,
tu mi devi seppellir.
E seppellire lass� in montagna,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
E seppellire lass� in montagna,
sotto l'ombra di un bel fior.
Tutte le genti che passeranno,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
Tutte le genti che passeranno,
Mi diranno �Che bel fior!�
�� questo il fiore del partigiano�,
o bella, ciao! bella, ciao! bella, ciao, ciao, ciao!
�� questo il fiore del partigiano,
morto per la libert�!�

Post number 1999