BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids My Childfree life is a blessing

I'm not insulted at all and I would never ask someone to censor themselves. And by the way, I think the mom jeans thing is hilarious. Mom's don't HAVE to wear them.. I'm not sure why they choose too. I recently have convinced my mom to buy some non-mom jeans and I think she feels quite liberated.

All I can say is I should get down on my hands and knees and thank my lucky stars for my life....
I feel soooo lucky...my life is rich, full, enjoyable, challenging, interesting and deeply satisfying...
Now off to lunch with some friends...a long lunch at a winery on the Mornington Peninsula...then a stroll through some antique shops and art galleries then back to their beach house for the night...
Yes, life's pretty good - no complaints here....

Has anyone else noticed that the "This forum exists" disclaimer is popping up after the first post on every page instead of the first post on every thread?

Yes, and it is distracting!

I also wanted to mention that the expression Mom-jeans came from Oprah, who always talks about weight loss. I would not call her an anti-feminist.

Oh lordy..please everyone knows what "mom jeans" are; even mom's say "please tell me if I look like I have mom jeans on"! I really don't think any offense was taken. Also, the women that wear "mom jeans" in this day and age are usually kinda not "fashion people" nor do they probably care.

Any yes, I have heard Oprah say it severas times!!

I'm a bit on the fence about whether or not to have children really, and was wondering if you (as in, all the women posting here who have decided not to have children ^_^) had a defining point in your lives where the answer was clear, if the answer was ALWAYS clear, or something else. I'm still in college so it's something I am not planning on anytime soon, but I've always felt as though I'd be better off without children...

I was trying to convince myself for a long time that I really DID want children, but I think I've always known. Even as a child, my dolls were "adopted" or I was their nanny or something, I was never their Mommy. The older I got, the more I thought there must be something wrong with me because I LOVE children but absolutely freaked out at the thought of having them.

I'm one of those people who have always known they didn't want children, but it seems that I'm really in the minority. Most people "figure it out" over a span of years. Hopefully some of the others who've gone through the process can help you out.

Michelle Jean....For me, there wasn't a true defining moment or event...I sort of always knew. Even as a child (before I realized there was a choice), I said I would adopt an older child when the time for children came. At that age, I thought I "HAD" to do the kid thing and was trying my best to figure a way out!

Then, I suppose if you want to say I had a "defining moment" it was when I realized, "Hey, I can choose NOT to have a child! Awesome!"

Hi Michelle Jean and welcome!



This is exactly me. I've known I would never, ever go through a pregnancy (and was about 95% sure I probably wouldn't adopt either) since I was 4 or 5 years old. I've always said, "If I change my mind, I'll adopt an older child," because I think adoption is awesome. But, looking back, I think I really just started saying that to shut up the "you'll change your mind" people. And to reinforce the fact that, even if I wanted kids, I'll never have a baby. I've just never felt comfortable with the idea of pregnancy.

Thank you all for responding! I know I have time for my biological clock to start ticking or whatever the stereotype is... but I've never felt a desire to have children. As selfish as it may sound, the only reasons I could come up with for really wanting to have a child personally were so I could give it a beautiful name (I love picking out baby names for some reason) and so I could see what my child would look like. Obviously not good reasons to produce offspring!
Still, I feel on the fence about it. I love the large family I come from and sometimes I think it'd be nice to continue that. My mom wants grandkids. Some say having a child is the greatest joy (though my mom says really it's more of a double edged sword ^_^).
However I can't think about it in terms of others, I need to consider myself. Unless my personality or desires were to change drastically in the future I just don't see myself wanting to have kids. I'm a really paranoid person and I think it would just stress me out too much to worry about them! Also I require a lot of 'me' time - having kids wouldn't allow for that. I just have so many things I'd like to do to make my life fulfilling and having kids is not one of those things I've ever thought of as a milestone in my life.
Ingilbert, I guess I could take my childhood activities as a clue as well... I had no interest in being a mommy, I was either coloring or pretending to be a mermaid in my grandparents' pool! I don't remember playing with dolls...
Thank you again for the responses, made me feel better about not wanting to have kids ^_^.