BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Pulled aside at work b/c of my opinions!

So I work at a Day Spa and I think I had mentioned that EVERYONE in my town,where I work have kids...even the younger girls.

Anyway, we were having a slow day and we were all sitting up front talking (which I try to avoid), and they ask if I have kids (I am kinda new there) and I tell them NO, ask how old I am tell them 37yrs,. They are just asking in a conversational way but there is one I can tell is going to be pain in the [censored]. She is young and had her child young...I think 19yrs. is too young to have kids..THAT IS JUST MY OPINION. So I am open and honest and say that I really don't tolerate kids well, don't really care for them, don't want them and love my life w/o it.

Well, my friend is over the Esthetician department until we hire a manager. And he comes into work and that girl complains about me saying I don't like kids etc. So, my friend pulls me aside out of work while we are talking and tells me about the complaint. I knew exactually who it was. I said no offense against you but I have two things to say, "F**k her! I have every right to my own opinion and not to mention I was asked. If people don't want to know they shouldn't ask. ALSO, if I have to listen to them talk about their kids continually all day I have a right to say what I feel. I didn't say I didnt' like their kids are anything towards them. I just spoke how I felt.

Wew...just had to rant. It is this kinda [censored] that ticks me off.

Wow ... that was some nerve of her to complain about that. It would be like me complaining to the boss about my co-worker who is a Republican, and I find offense with her because I'm a Democrat.

Wow. Just... wow. What is wrong with people? You can't even say you don't like kids without them taking it personally. That's just dumb. Screw her.

I have to hear "I hate cats" from time to time, and yes, it does offend me but I realize that people are entitled to their own (stupid) opinions.

Wow! That's just rediculous. You didn't say anything personal about her or her child/ren, you simply said you didn't want them because you didn't tolerate them well. What's wrong with that? She ASKED. If she didn't want an answer, she shouldn't have asked the question.

Of course, it's ridiculous. Jzel, did the girls specifically ask you why you didn't want kids, or was that information you added in connection with the simple question, "Do you have any?"

Not that it matters much.

It doesn't sound like you gave an opinion, per se, as much as you simply stated why you have not chosen the same options they did and you gave your reasons. An opinion would have been to say something like "I don't want kids because they demand too much money/responsibility, they suck the life out of you, they crack a marriage faster than a wrecking ball, etc." But it doesn't sound like you did that.

I have learned that giving your opinions at work is a touchy thing. You're right, you're entitled to have those opinions, but you are not entitled to voice them, per any standard HR department. Personal opinions, when voiced, can make people uncomfortable for whatever reason. If they happen to offend anyone (rightfully so or not), it's an HR issue. Wouldn't you say we all have the right to wear whatever perfume we want? Not so, if someone reports it's a distraction or an offense to them.

P.S. I've also learned that working daily with women can be a real pain in the ahhhss, because some of them are so insecure, jealous, catty or delight so much in starting trouble, and they tattle to whomever will listen.

You should be able to say what you want. She's just jealous b/c she wasn't smart enough to not have kids at such a young age. You can't tell me she is elated that her life is over at 19.

Going to HR is over the top. If she's allowed to like children, you are allowed to not like them.

I went through this with my SIL. She was going on about how DH and I needed a cat. And DH went through a lot of holy drama over his cats before we got married. I don't like cats, and both of his cats had major health issues - the one was constantly puking in the house. She just wouldn't leave it alone - she wanted to know why I didn't like them, and was asking me why I prefer dogs. She has her own cats, why does she care if we have cats? It really bothered her, and my nephew (her son) just asked me this past weekend why I don't like cats. I just blew it off this time. And it felt like we were talking about more than cats - it kind of felt like the old argument to have children, except it was about cats.

This forum exists as a support community for people who choose to live a child-free existence. The forum is not intended to be a debate arena; it is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who have set their life goals to not include offspring.
Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

This was posted under my post??? Does this always come up or am I being censored here too?

I have really started to just "have it" with this living childfree. I feel like people with kids can constantly talk about their kids and say whatever they want!!!! But I can't talk about how I feel whether it be here or in my outside life. I am starting to feel discriminated against...what about my rights????

If this board is going in the direction that it appears...that we are not allowed to have a simple vent session I am out of here too!!!

This new bar was just added to help explain to others what this forum is about. It is added under ALL FIRST POSTS now on every page, so that when parents end up here, they know what this forum is about. It is meant to let people know that we don't want to debate if our lifestyle is "right" or not.

It actually has nothing to do with you, Jzel.

Kim Kenney
MNK Editor

Jzel, your experience at work is hideous and out of line. Now wonder you are fuming.

Jzel, after your boss mentioned the "complaint" to you, you should have asked him "is there something in my performance that is not up to par?" (whether that refers to your actual job duties or your behaviour towards your customers), because if THAT would have been the case, he was right to speak to you. Since it was not, there is really no issue....