BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Do Not Complain for 1 Month

OK I've read about this in several places now and it seems like a great challenge.

Can you go a whole month without complaining?

I am quite willing to give it a try!

I suppose we will have to judge what a complaint actually is. If you write in your journal about your day and you talk about a rough situation, is that complaining?

this sounds both hard and complicated (which is, right there, me complaining), but also very intriguing. I am willing to try it, depending on which month.

What qualifies as a complaint is so subjective. Is telling my finace all about my day (even the bad parts) complaining? If a certain co-worker screws up yet another customer's order, is making sure management knows about this problem complaining?

I don't see Jilly simply stating her belief that this challenge would be difficult as complaining, for example, but she does. Does that make sense?

I couldn't pledge to take on this challenge, simply because the line is so blurry. Best of luck to those brave enough to try it, though!

I think it's fair if each of us draws a personal line between what we feel is inappropriate and appropriate behavior. To say "I will try to do what I feel is right for 30 days" seems a great aim for all of us!

I think you can talk about a bad day in a way which is constructive - and also in a way that is whining. One way points out problems which could be fixed. Another way just expresses anger about issues.

Now, for example I just finished up a series of reviews. Some of the items I reviewed had issues. So I talked about these issues, like "the font was hard to read". This isn't complaining. It is explaining a problem. If I wrote "this brain-dead jerk didn't know what he was doing!!" that would be complaining

We can always bring up examples in this thread as we hit them, and see what we think about it!

So far I think I'm doing well

so are we trying this now? or will it start at the begining of some month?

It is pretty hard to draw the line b/t a complaint and just talking. Dan says I am complaining all the time when, to me, it's just talking.

So i am a little sensitive to it. And I have no idea if that statement i just said is a complaint!

I promise I will try. Is it on now? - or do I still have time to complain about something?

Why don't we start from Monday 14th April?
That way we can brace ourselves for the effort - and get any arising complaints out of the way here and now!!!

The OED defines Complaining as a 'verbal expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance'.
So the way I see it (and it is just MY way, I would emphasise....)we need to make sure that whatever expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance that comes up in our minds is not verbalised. This could range from anything between the fact that the dishwasher repairman arrived in the afternoon instead of the morning, to the fact that Mother has just been the big Drama Control-Freak Queen, yet again - !!

Any takers on this?

The 14th sounds ok with me. Anyone else?

It doesn't matter when you start - because the point is if you complain you start again. The aim is to try to go for a real month without complaining, not to for a month try to complain as little as you can and feel guilty when you do complain So you can start right now! Heck we can see by the 14th who has even made it that long without having to start over.

Bob and I were talking in the car tonight about what constitutes complaining. The thought is that you want to fill your world with positive energy and encouragement. So focusing on negative things is unhealthy for you. If you spend 20 minutes talking and musing about "how much that clerk at Home Depot was rude" then whether you call it complaining or sociological discussion, that is 20 minutes of your life that was wasted, spent on a "bad situation" and focusing on that "bad situation".

Now if you have a dog that peed on your carpet and you spend 20 minutes discussing methods of training him NOT to do that - that's not complaining, that is being productive in finding a way to better your life. But if you spend 20 minutes just ranting about your dumb dog and why he peed on your carpet again, that would be unproductive and complaining.

But again we can all bring up situations here in the thread to talk about, and to figure out if it is a positive or negative situation that time was spent on!

I don't *think* I have complained since I first posted. I'm trying to be aware of what I say but it's hard to be aware all the time. I'm thinking back over the Geek Girls dinner I just came from and pretty much the entire dinner is us all talking together and helping each other with ideas and brainstorming, so it is generally a long, positive talk, not a complaining one.

Okay, i guess i need to know what more people think, since Lisa's statement here: "but it's hard to be aware all the time" sounds like a complaint to the way DH gets on my butt about complaining.