BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I am furious!!

DLEE, I'm sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like a deeply unpleasant, uncaring person with no respect for your feelings, your property or the well-being of your animals. I admire the patience with which you have handled things so far - I can't imagine putting up with a regular home invasion by unmannered brats. Methinks it's time to reclaim your home and turn it into the sort of place where you and your cats will be undisturbed and happy!

o_O Seriously, why do you put up with that? I think you mentioned that when you two started off he was a pleasant person, but obviously he's NOT. He really does have the classic abuser profile, especially with that "act nice now and drop it later" thing. That pleasantness was just an act to lure you in, and now he THINKS you have to put up with it for the rest of your life. You know what? He's completely WRONG. Your house, your life, your cat's health, your peace of mind, his [censored] out the door.

It's time for action. You have tolerated all that you are going to tolerate. You have discussed, pleaded, talked and done everything under the sun to continue being nice to him and his kids. It's time for you to change the locks on your doors and to pack up his things and his kids things (if there are any at YOUR home) and kick them out. Since they will not listen to reason, they will listen to action. I don't even thing that they deserve a warning of any kind because of the treatment that they have given you. I'm all for the ultimatum, though I'm weary about that because he could use it as an excuse to use you even more. It's time for you to move on without him and without them.

Wow, get that man out of your house NOW. Being on your own is far better than being in a relationship with a man like this.

He's moved into YOUR house, brought HIS kids in and allowed then to pretty much run riot over the stuff YOU'VE worked hard for. This is total and utter disrespect to you and your feelings. What you're saying and how you're feeling ATM is perfectly reasonable and he needs a serious dose of reality right now.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm slagging off your hubby; I guess I am, but it infuriates me when I hear of people getting treated like this. You deserve so much better and I sincerely hope you can get this sorted. I agree with other posters about a "my way or the highway" ultimatum. He absolutely cannot tell you to "step up" in regard to his kids then tell you to butt out. If this is the way he treats you what sort of example is he setting for his kids? The way I see it, it can only get worse. Pack his bags and be strong. YOU DESERVE BETTER!

You only have one life...
You deserve to be happy - your function is not to "accommodate" your husband's children.
Your husband should have made sure you were a united front so the kids understood their were rules and boundaries...instead he has sided with the kids and left you out in the dark.
You can't make a happy life for yourself in this set-up...it would also, be difficult to turn around now that their behavior has been set and that's assuming your husband was so inclined - it doesn't sound like he even acknowledges your feelings - you are always being difficult or in the wrong.
The next question is how highly you value your relationship - do you want to try and fix things? Or, is it too late for that?
The answers will determine whether you try to speak to him making clear you mean business or ask them to leave...
Good luck - don't put up with this situation - it's your life being sacrificed...

I agree about the importance of your husband and yourself being a unified front. The childeren will play up if your husband does not do this, although it can be hard to do, it should be done, when ever possible. To buy into a marriage with children already in it, I am suprised and sorry that your husband is so shorth sighted in not letting you help.

I am so sorry that this situation is so painful for you. You must follow your heart and be honest with your husband on how betrayed you feel, and of the strain it is putting you both under.

I forgot to mention earlier that the a$$hole told me that I should put the litter boxes in the basement, and the cats should live down there. After all, they are just animals. My basement is unfinished, and there is nothing down there but storage boxes. I'm sure you can all imagine what I wanted to say to this, but I held my tongue.

This is my sprogladyte weekend, and I am already sick to my stomache. Oh, and I also get the 'You don't have kids, so you don't know anything about it' speech. That comment almost puts me into a murderous rage. Well, at the very least, it makes my eyes and veins pop out. When I try to tell him I WAS one at one time, he says that was 30 years ago, and these days it is acceptable for kids to mouth off and be disrespectful. After all, we are living in different times, and they have to be able to express themselves, right? WTF??

((((((((((((((((DLEE)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you have to put up with this. I hope you can find the courage to pack his stuff up and move him out. It's your home, your cats and your life. It should not be completely turned upside down by someone who seems to care so little for your happines.

More hugs,
Kim

The basement sounds like an ideal place to house the brats (and their father), at least until you can create a more permanent solution!

I second myrabeth's plan!
Flip him the bird and pack your bags.