BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Another SAHM in the works

ok, I am DYING to understand your username!! Robotrix is an unrated, soft- core cyber flick from Hong Kong.

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Jzel, may I suggest the ignore function? Trolls live for the attention - deprive them of that and they will soon relocate*... I have done my share of troll debating in the past, but now I think, "why encourage them?".

Just my two cents' worth.



* though perhaps it would be selfish to deliberately inflict Robotrix on others... Wouldn't want to encourage any CF stereotypes!

The only real problem I have with a SAHM is when she quits a career she has worked for so hard and long. For instance, my SIL worked her butt off to get a master's in teaching. She went through four years of doing what she hated so that she could be considered for a full-time position. She got the full-time position, but not in what she really wanted. But, she made the commitment to go back to school and put in MORE work. She really liked what she was doing.

Now, seven years later, she is going to just quit? I'm sorry, but that would be like me getting my MA (which I did,) getting a job I love (which I did,) and getting that job full-time (which I'm dreaming of) and then just suddenly quitting.

But, I knew this would happen because her husband often works 14-hour days. She is alone a lot of the time, and I can see how it would be difficult ... but I think it will be HARDER for her to be alone with the kid ALL THAT TIME with NO ONE to help her.

This is a classic ad hominem attack that trolls use because they don't know what they are talking about. It is also a tool that stupid people use because they're too dumb to form a real argument. That is how you KNOW you are dealing with a troll/idiot and not someone who is just passionate about their opinion.

Ingilbert, I think you made a good point about it being sad when a woman gives up everything she worked so hard for to be a SAHM. I guess I would say each woman has to really think about what is best for her and her family; I imagine it must be a tough decision. As women, we have a lot of pressure from so many sources to "do the right thing" when it comes to children. Some people say we aren't being a feminist if we stay home and raise the children, and others think we aren't raising our kids right if we don't.

This is another reason people should be so careful and thoughtful about whether to have kids instead of just fly by the seat of their pants and figure it out after the baby comes. Can you really be a good parent if you are resentful that you gave up all your personal goals and accomplishments to stay at home? And, can you really be a good parent if you keep your career and devote all your time to it instead of the kids? I couldn't decide that myself, so I'm glad I don't want kids. All I know is that with the number of messed up kids nowadays we aren't doing something right as a society...

That's why no one should have kids. Haha!

Has anyone read The Giver? It's set in the future where people are told what jobs they are going to have ... aside from normal jobs, there are the girls who are determined to be the breeders. I'm not sure what the actual term is, but they are hand-picked to have the babies, and no one else does.

Scary, but at the same time, you have to wonder, wouldn't it be nice if you could decide who could have the babies??

[quote=on_a_roll]ok, I am DYING to understand your username!! Robotrix is an unrated, soft- core cyber flick from Hong Kong.

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This is exactly why someone who doesn't want to be a SAHM shouldn't be one. But if this person wants to stay at home and doesn't consider it "giving up everything" then she should have the choice.

Ha! This is great! I went in and selected "ignore the user". The troll posted and I didn't have to read her post. Thanks for the suggestion. I realized that you guys are right, and that I won't debate with her anymore. She isn't worth it! Apparently, something is lacking in her life that she has to do this. I would be so embrassed to know that in my spare time I went on mommy boards to post and AGGERVATE people. Oh, but you know, that is what kids are for...aggervating people...so I guess in the end she gets what she deserves!

This practically describes me. I have a master's in education and was teaching at risk teenagers. I left teaching to raise my family. Yes, if I go back I start right where I finished off and I understood that when I left. While being a wife & SAHM, I developed a little bath & body product business and started volunteering here at BellaOnline.com. I decided if I was going to have children then I should be the one raising them instead of paying someone else to do so. Nothing against working moms, I've been a working single mom as well.

So, a few years ago my husband walked out on us and fortunately, I can make enough money from home that I don't need to go out to work and can spend time with my two girls.

Yes, if I had been teaching the entire time, I'd be making a lot more, but I'd also be too tired to deal with my own children.

I certainly understand where you are coming from, but I think it all depends on what is important to you. For me, it's important to raise happy, responsible children and by working from home I'm rested enough to do that. Other moms can juggle work & raising children and that's great.