BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids mothers VS childfree

I feel very shallow when I read about people who choose not to have children because they are concerned about the planet...the eco-system, over population, the breakdown of society, crime rates, the breakdown of the family....
These things didn't cross my mind.
My reasons were pretty simple really - I wasn't sufficiently interested to go down that path.
I have three much younger siblings so observed parenting up close...it just never appealed to me. Granted with more money and fewer children, it might have looked better but never sufficiently appealing to make me head down that path.
I always knew that I wanted to do other things with my life.
So, I wasn't trying to save the planet - just wanted to live my life, my way....
My mother recently mentioned to one of my cousins that I was currently working in Japan and was heading home via HK in 10 days...
My cousin said, "Oh, Deb lives in another world"...she's right, I do...and I wouldn't want it any other way - I love my world.

I Love your World too! Kudos!

Hey, to each her own. It's just my reason, it definately doesn't have to be yours. Besides, that's ONE reason. There are lots of others, too!

OOPPS, I went rambling on and sort of messed up my point....Sorry !!! I was trying to get across that I agree with most of your post, I was trying to point out that well you have to have a screw loose if you think your life will be the same after you have a child. I am really learning alot from this forum, it's a good thing. I hope you all do not mind that I post on certain topics, and yes I know this is a child free by choice forum.

Ah, that's the thing CrochetQueen, just about everyone who's CF knows that it's a life-altering experience, and can picture it quite clearly. It's the people who have kids that never bothered to think about their life, before and after that have major problems. (which I think you agree with). Hell, I knew that getting a KITTEN would be a huge change in my life and thought about it for a good while before adopting one, but I've seen people just somehow let pregnancy happen. (like the upstairs neighbors who got into screaming fights EVERY SINGLE DAY, yeah a kid will be GREAT there. :P )

CQ, you're welcome to stay and hang out with the CF crowd; we've had parent posters before. But be warned, if we feel our non-parenting toes are getting stepped on, we tend to get rabid. We do it politely, sort of, but we can get scary. As long and you're here to be a positive part of the discussion, glad welcome! There's always room for another (civil) viewpoint.

I know that above paragraph reads like a giant disclaimer, but we've been bruised by an unusually high number of recent trolls, so we're a bit jumpy right now. Things will settle down soon, I hope, and so will we. Sorry if you feel like you got hit with a preemptive strike.

Actually I don't have a political bone in my body - I've never attended a demonstration in my life or tied myself to a tree...
At university I knew people who did - one was almost killed when the demonstration got out of hand.
I actually feel I should think more about the environment & other issues and do what I can when I feel action is warranted - I recently decided to make a stand about live sheep exports to the Middle East and the horrendous cruelty...I wrote to my local member and donated some money to a pressure group - I was surprised and delighted to see the reaction of the Australian people - and that it's starting to make a difference.
I used to think that one person can't make a difference...
I now realize for every person who decides to take action combined with all the other people who decide to take action amounts to a tidal wave....and governments and others have to listen...so, I'm turning my mind to wider issues...better late than never...

Hi.
I have a son. I really don't know what mean to be a mother until I become a mother. I'm glad I found this forum because sometimes I want to run away from child and responsabilities. I emphatize with that mother in that blog, I feel like her. Sure I don't want another child, it's really difficult with only one and I don't want another for SURE.

Tress - I am totally with you on the whole overpopulation thing. Also, my husband thinks that there are too many stupid people breeding, and that's one reason he wants kids. (Gosh, he doesn't have a problem with arrogance, does he? :-)

He and I grew up in neighborhoods that evolved very quickly from being nice, safe, normal neighborhoods into gang-infested areas, and we BOTH saw the problems with large families, most of which were immigrants. The more kids, the less money, the more problems, the more likely the kids were to join gangs or do poorly in school, and then get pregnant.

My mom works in that same school district, and every year (she teaches 7th and 8th grade) she has at LEAST one pregnant student. I shudder to think how many of the girls in the entire school end up pregnant each year. My mom has had fights with parents who want to pull their daughter out of school once they get pregnant so she can focus on raising a family - she fights for the kid to STAY in school and get an education. (Also, it's the law, which some of them don't understand.) She has told me it's bad enough the kid got pregnant, if she leaves school there is no hope for her future.

This is true in the UK apparantly, the higher accademic qualifications a woman has, the less likely she is to have children - hence the 40% of women (or is it 45%? can't remember) who are Uni graduates, over the age of 35 and childless at present.

That's not to say those women won't have kids, some might have them later of course....

I don't think people who have children are dumb.. I think *some* parents are bloody stupid to have kids when they can't afford them or haven't taken the time to realise what parenthood will entail... but then I think people who take on a pet without realising the consequences are equally as stupid.. as are fat people who sue fast food joints or smokers who try and sue tobacco companies....

*hates stupidity in general in all its guises* :-)