BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Teacher Humor :)

Also in an attempt to lighten the mood here ...

I found this in some old emails. Seeing that there are a good number of teachers in this forum, I think you'll get a kick out of it.

===========

Teachers - present and past - you are going to love this one!

Subject: How to Stay Awake in Teacher Inservices


HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN TEACHER INSERVICES: OFFERED AS A PUBLIC SERVICE...

Do you keep falling asleep in teacher meetings and inservices? Here's a way
to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, inservice or staff development, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size.

Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* no child left behind
* test scores
* core competencies
* communication
* standards
* multiple exposures
* benchmarks
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* action plan
* result-driven
* assessments
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* differentiated
* retention
* skills
* background knowledge
* effective learning
* exemplars
* implementation
* reflection

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULL$#!+"


TESTIMONIALS from satisfied "Bull$#!+ Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta

"My attention span at inservices has improved dramatically." - David T., Orlando

"What a gas! Staff development will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan J., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last inservice as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G, Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULL$#!+' for the third time in two hours. The Bull$#!+ Bingo Championship will be played at the next inservice." -Rod H., Nashville

I had to laugh out loud ...
This post is multicultural I think

I loved it!

I was watching the news yesterday, and a school had decided to fire everyone because they weren't working up to 'no child left behind' standards. One of the board members wondered what they could do to attract the 'best minds' to their school. I just chuckled.

Here's an idea, how about giving teacher's some power to deliver some consequences?

Or setting some standards that AREN'T impossible to reach?

I live in an affluent town with two high schools. The two schools are vastly different because the north side of town is "richer." (The houses aren't necessarily nicer, but prices are higher.) The south side is new and cheaper, so it attracts some ... rabble ... that would never be able to afford to live on the north side. Therefore, we have some gang problems on the south side (I'm north.)

The two schools are part of the same school district, and they have never passed No Child Left Behind. Now, the students from both schools routinely get accepted into Stanford, Harvard, and other elite schools. So why do we fail? Because of two groups - the special ed students from both schools and the low income group from the south side. (Any school with special ed will never pass NCLB.)

Ingilbert- yes, so it seems the only way that schools can conform is the fudge the results or just stop offering programs like special needs.

At the school I subbed at, there was a memo out that said that teachers were no longer allowed to give zeros. They had to give at least 60s.

Hilarious post Duane! I laughed out loud, especially at some of the testimonials. This one in particular:

Where's the incentive to do work if you don't get a zero? The fear of getting a zero, which could bring down your entire average a big chunk for one missed activity, drove the point home.

I'm soooo glad that I am not a student now.

Re: Schools not NCLB certified b/c of "low rent neighorhoods", a few of the schools here are not certified because of that one factor. Everything else is equal, roughly, except that these schools tend to be in the poorer parts of the county, while others are in the more affluent parts of the county.

As others may know, I am in the educational system, but in IT, not a hands-on position with daily contact with students and teachers. But as part of my past positions, I was stationed, not at the main office building/Central Office, but at several of the High Schools, so I am fully aware of the day to day activities of students and teachers. I even found myself to be part of some of those inservices, as some of them were held in the library, where my office was located.

So yes, after reading that joke, I can just imagine some of the teachers having their "BS Bingo" cards out. The comments were the funniest part.

I forwarded your posting to my mom who is a substitute teacher. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of it.

Thanks again for the laughs!