BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids interesting bingo

I don't know what made me think of this tonight, but I have to share...

I recently got back in touch with a friend from high school. She is actually very cool about my CF stance, and I don't detect any tension despite the fact that she has two little ones. This friend has always been a size zero. It's hereditary, her Mom and brothers are all really tiny people. I was never fat growing up, like a size 4. But let's face it, a size 4 is not a zero. And she would always talk about how fat certain people are that were actually average sized people. I went through a phase as a teen when I ate next to nothing, and the smallest I've ever been is a 4. I'm just not built that tiny.

Anyway, I'm now 36, and I'm technically a size 6, but stuff is starting to get a little tight and I'm starting to put on weight in odd places, like my back? Time to get more serious about exercising, I know. So my husband met my old friend, and I was telling him how she's always been a zero. I was complimenting her, you know. And she said something like "it's from chasing the kids around all day." or "you should chase these kids around all day." But I think she said I would be a zero too if I was chasing kids around all day. But I so wouldn't. She wasn't calling me fat, and I know I'm not fat, although I definitely need to start exercising regularly.

It felt like a bingo but I don't know if it counts technically. Anyone else hear this one, or something similar? I don't know if I'm being too sensitive, but it just felt like another one of those comments.

I think if it feels like a bingo then it is one. The whole idea of a bingo being something that makes the childfree person uncomfortable or something that's downright rude.

I have no clue what a size 6 is, over here in Australia I'm a size 16 on top and 14 on bottom. Aside from surgery I'll never be less than a 14 on top even when my ribs stick out thanks to a rather large chest. I dread to think what would happen to *that* if I had kids, it's already too big by far! I have also been told I'd lose weight running after kids... oddly enough by a woman who never lost the 3 dress sizes gained after pregnancy. Needless to say I didn't see that as much of a bingo!

Yeah, I heard that one too by a rather uncouth wife of a guy I used to work with. And I can see how you could view that comment as a bingo (a parent throwing out a reason to have kids at a CF person)...it's like saying, "If you had kids, you could easily keep weight off, too!"

Not trying to be mean, but how does that explain all of the women who tend to keep their pregnancy weight even after they have the baby? Lots of women have trouble losing weight after a baby, then as the kid is into toddlerhood, a lot of moms will finish a meal the kid didn't finish, as well as her own, and I've heard that's a major problem contributing to the weight gain. Often women become less active after kids, especially if they don't make an effort to exercise when the baby is born and it's easier to stay home and look after baby. If the size zero woman was accurate, all moms would be size zeroes! Different people have different metabolisms and activity levels.

Cindy

Eh, I was just giving validity to happytobechildfree, not the size zero woman.

That woman, as Happy said, probably has a killer metabolism, as do so many other tiny women I know. They are the ones we love to hate -- the ones who can eat anything they want at any time of the day and still never gain a pound. On the other hand, I can fluctuate up to four pounds in a single day (mostly due to dehydration and rehydration).

BTW Cookie -- I never heard that a major contribution to mothers gaining weight comes from their finishing off their kids' plates. *giggle* Reminds me of people who look across the table at someone else and ask, "You done with that?"

Oh, I know you weren't validating the size zero woman. It sounds like she enjoys bragging about her size, which isn't really Nice, as it can have the effect of making other people feel she is demeaning them for not being a size zero. I just think the size zero post-pregnancy woman is the rarity, not the norm.

A few years ago, I was selling my 1996 Mustang, and a woman who had seven kids ended up buying it as her "fun" car (the family had a 12 passenger van to cart the family around). She was tiny! My mom asked her "Did you have all those kids YOURSELF?" (She didn't bring the kids with her to pick up the car, fortunately!)

Cindy

Being a size 0 is a pretty ridiculous goal for most women and wouldn't be healthy anyway!! I am always irritated by people who obsess about weight -- their own and other people's.

I have to say that most of the women I know who have had kids weigh more now than they did before! The reasons are probably many and varied. Sometimes the weight gain from pregnancy just doesn't come off that easily.

But, ladies, that is something WE'LL never have to deal with!! :-)

Kim
MNK Editor

Agreed. And also something we'll never have to deal with is the stretched skin. I don't care if they're a size zero, if they can fit in Barbie jeans - whatever - many of them have belly skin that sags/wrinkles that will only "improve" with age.

Heck, I never even had kids, and I'm a size 5...at 36, lemme tell ya, your stomach, even when toned with crunches, isn't as taught with elasticity as it was at age 25! Trying the best I can to keep it youthful and tight, but I can't imagine how icky it would look if that same skin would have looked now...and at age 40...if it had been stretched. I even know a woman at my former job who, at age 31 and a size zero, who had a tummy tuck because of that saggy belly (preggers) skin.

At the risk of sounding mean, that stretchy belly skin would bother me and I wouldn't blame my husband for being turned off.

I agree BillieCat. It would feel very sad, but I wouldn't blame my husband either. But even if we don't have kids, both of us will develop sags. wrinkles, and strange growths as we age either way.

Size 0??? That seems very extreme to me. I'm not fat, but am tall and not petite.

I have heard that bingo!! My next door neighbor said it to me, but I took it more about herself, and didn't take it too personally that she was saying I should have kids to lose weight. It didn't come out quite that badly. But, it did stick in my brain, so I see what you mean. I wondered about it because I didn't buy it! The woman saying it wasn't any skinnier than me, and larger actually. She's about 10 yrs. older than me though. So, I think I remembered it because I kind of thought, "Yeah right, actually maybe it's not working as well as you think." (I know, that's mean, and I'm not saying I'm perfect in any way shape or form, or superior to her...I have to work at it too).

Anyway, I read an article pretty recently about a study that said that parents statistically weigh more than non-parents overall, and it's partly because they finish the meals, and also because they tend to have more junk food and snacks around, and since their kids eat more often, it influences the parents to snack more. It was also because it was harder for them to fit in regular exercise.

I can totally see that happening to me!!