BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Need advice regarding a stupid baby shower

My grandmother, aunt, cousin and brother are all lefties. My brother bats/golfs right handed. And my righty grandfather golfed left-handed. When he died, my brother got his golf clubs, but he can't really use them!

I bat/golf however I feel like that day, left OR right!

Thanks everyone for your advice regarding my original problem.
It helped me a lot. Also, thanks for defending me.

Carennedy

You are entitled to your opinion I suppose.

I do however wonder why you are wasting your time online questioning my commitment to my job, instead spending quality time with or on your kids? How many books could you have shared with them during the time it took to bash me? How many rounds of "Go Fish","Old Maid" or "Memory" could you have played with them? How many spelling words or math facts could have been practiced? Hmmmm?

Face it. Every second you spend on here reading, posting, judging, takes time away from the children you claim to care so much about. I wonder how you can be being "tough" on them if you are here busy being "tough" on me? Maybe you are starting to "burn out"?

I came here asking for advice about the best way to handle something from people who share feelings similar to me. You obviously did not so why waste your time on me and not with your kids? I bet they would have liked a guest reader at school that day or maybe a lunch buddy? Many of my students love it when their parent comes to each lunch with them.

My preface was meant for people who already knew something about me to explain my absence and yes, vent. You see, I teach in a low-income district. You know...children whose parents do drugs, abuse alcohol, abuse THEM, get involved in gangs by 6th grade, can't speak English and therefore can't work with them at home, have disposable moms and/or dads, find crack vials in the laundry rooms of their apartment complex and I even had one tell me 2 weeks ago that his mother does nothing but yell at him while she's on the computer all the time! She has since lost custody.

My frustration with my class was bubbling to the surface after I had recently been TOLD by my administrator to explain myself to a parent(the one who later lost custody mind you)why I wrote up her child and had security remove him from the room. My reason was rather trivial I suppose. He had called someone a name and when I gave him a consequence, he then started to throw and kick the contents of his desk on the floor and across the room. Silly me. I had to get 2 little girls away from him before they got hurt. What was I thinking? That is totally acceptable behavior in the classroom.

These kids fear nothing. I rewarded them with special projects on Fridays. I had to take it away. Nothing changes. They see the Principal and get detentions. Nothing changes. I talk to their parents. Nothing changes. They earn failing grades. Nothing changes. What has changed? Consideration of my professional judgment and opinion, first graders losing their right to get extra support in Reading and Math if they are failing yet the "testing grades" get 4 or 5 teachers to help them(mine get 1-ME), the amount of work I am expected to do at home(not for the kids, but for administration), having to practice lockdowns incase someone enters the school with a weapon and crawling on my hands and knees around my room to console my kids because they are scared while they have to hide under their desks.

I love my kids. I don't always like them though. I get frustrated because the amount of time I have to get them on the right track gets shorter and shorter with less and less help. With many of them I am battling their current way of life to save them from a future of teen pregnancy, drug abuse, gangs, jail and even an early death.

Am I burning out? I might be, as well as the rest of my district because we are all feeling the lowest we've ever felt. I love teaching kids, but I am not able to do that anymore. Lack of parent involvement, administrative requirements and political interference is killing our enthusiasm.

I thought about going back to school for something else, but my teaching degree has put me debt until I'm about 60. I would also have to quit my current job to travel to the nearest school with my program of interest, but I'd lose my house I just bought after 11 years of waiting, because I had to pay off half of my school debt first.

If you are that concerned though, I'll accept donations.

i really feel for you ! although i didn't teach in such a low income environment i did encounter some situations that ultimately led me to quit teaching. my final yr. of teaching i had a 3 yr. old who came to school and told me that he was going to shoot me b/c i scolded him the day before. instead of my principal backing me up she said that she heard "yelling" from my room. i tried telling her that this kid (plus a few others) didn't listen to me at all but to no avail. not that she had a solution either mind you. i met with the mom and grandmother who both told me that he was" going through a phase." give me a break! i wonder what they''ll be saying when he's a teenager and he attacks someone who god forbids scolds him!!

i also know someone who taught in NYC in a very low income school for over 30 yrs. and like you was very frustrated. she told me right out that after a while she felt like she couldnt' do anything with them b/c it was so bad. one day she even got attacked outside the school b/c the neighborhood was so bad.

it's a shame that teachers who have such a hard job to begin with dont' always get the respect and support that they need and deserve.

even though you're in debt if you're really burning out maybe leaving would be an option. maybe there is some way that you can use your degree in a new way. there is a book on doing just that.it's called something like" 101 alternative jobs/careers for teachers."i'm sure if you're interested you can find it on amazon or something like that.

it's sad but sometimes there's a point where you can only do so much for those kids and if you dont' have the right support it's even less.

i wish i had an ans. for you b/c i really do understand. you're right about carennedy.i dont' understand why parents(i know they obviously have a right to post i get it!)get upset when they read our comments. afterall it is a CF site.

at least it's almost x-mas huh?

indigo

Haha!

Regarding the rest of your post, you sound EXACTLY like my mother. She teaches 7th and 8th graders and has nothing but problems with them. She's retiring this year and has had a retirement clock running for the last three. She cannot get through to many of her kids. Although, in the past few years the kids have been better (though her school system has gotten worse) because she had the BD kids before, and now she has the "regular" kids.

That means she's no longer getting desks thrown at her and threats of being knifed.

My BIL retired early to get away from teaching.
He has noticed over the last 20 years kids having less and less respect for authority including teachers.
Once if he disciplined a kid and placed him on detention - the parents would want to know why and they would also, have something to say to their child - discipline!
Increasingly, he had to defend his decisions to irate parents - so the parents reinforced and condoned bad behaviour.
My BIL started to hate his work and feared some of the kids - the verbal abuse and violence.
My BIL is a quiet reserved man - a gifted teacher - but ended up totally defeated.
I always feel sad when I see kids that have no chance in life - their families are so dysfunctional.
My parents were working class - money was tight - but we were all well mannered, respected our elders and other people's property - I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd punched or abused a teacher...but it would never have happened - it was unthinkable behaviour that would have carried huge consequences. My mother used to say, "you are responsible for your behaviour, no one else"....
In fact, I remember we used to take our teachers flowers when the garden was in bloom. Does that ever happen today?
I think teachers have a difficult job - and Yehonala your class/school sounds appalling - you must feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - hope things improve.

Deborah - your BIL sounds like my mom, too! She is just SO tired of her kids. They treat her so badly. Yet when I observe her at school (I am sometimes a guest speaker regarding film and video) she treats them so well. I don't think any of them would even GUESS that she goes home in tears at least once a week.

I grew up in the neighborhood where she now teaches. I never acted like these kids growing up, and neither did my friends. The real problem for my mom started when I was about in 8th grade (no longer there but in a different town.)

Time was that my mom could walk onto the playground in the middle of a fight and the kids would yell "Mrs. S is coming!" and they'd scatter.

If she even attempted to do that nowadays, she'd probably be shot by one of the gangbangers, since they bring guns and knives to school and have no respect for the teachers (like I said, she's been threatened to be knifed before.) Everyone is scared of the kids, even the administrators, and they're just BABIES. For god's sake, they're 12 and 13.

That is shocking Ingilbert - what a nightmare.
AND what a nightmare for the kids that want to make something of their lives - what chance do they have?
Can't these kids be weeded out and expelled? I mean bringing knifes and guns to school....it amazes me the education department are not concerned about an injured teacher suing them for failing to provide a safe workplace.
Why can't metal detectors be placed at the school gates?
Also, these schools sound like war zones - there should be security on site...as a parent of a child attending the school, I'd be concerned about their welfare.
I know my BIL sent many letters to the Minister of Education hoping for change - but nothing changed.
Mind you he wasn't facing gangs with knifes and guns every day - just disrespectful, disobedient kids with a few really bad eggs thrown in for good measure.
I hope your Mum enjoys her retirement - she really deserves some peace and quiet after putting up with all of that....

It occurred to me if nothing changes - perhaps, we should start training teachers with the SWAT teams - and include some self-defence, martial arts - then issue them with weapons ready for the school year!

When I read stories like the ones above, it's really not so surprising when things like the shootings in Omaha yesterday happen. A 19 year old kid who had lost his McDonald's job and his girlfriend, going on a shooting rampage so he could go out "in style". How sick and sad. Not surprisingly, apparently his parents weren't involved in his life.

Cindy