BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Need advice regarding a stupid baby shower

Some mothers think they are martyrs - they have no sense of humour and no balance in their views. My mother has 5 children and I can tell you that if a teacher said, "Gosh, I've got a bunch of unlikeable kids in my class this year" - her response would be, "you poor thing...etc."
I've often discussed this Martyr thing with Mum - I consider her a valuable source of all parenting information - she's a great Mum but she's able to see it's not for everyone for various reasons.
This topic reminded me of an incident at a playground roughly 13 years ago. I was watching my nephew for a few hours and decided to take him to an adventure playground - I collected a take away coffee and some sandwiches and off we went....
After a few minutes my nephew asked me if he could take off his jumper and shoes and socks - it was a nice day, I couldn't see a problem so off he went.....
After a few minutes I became aware I was being "judged" - another child had asked her mother if she could take off her shoes.
It went something like this, (in a loud voice for my benefit)
- "NO, you may NOT"
- "But Mum, he's taken off his shoes"
- "Well, IF THAT little boy's mother thinks it's fine for HIM to take off his shoes, that's her BUSINESS but YOU are NOT taking off your shoes"....followed by a disapproving stare at me!
I was confused....should I ask my nephew to put his shoes back on? Had I missed something?
No, the sand had just been raked over and the bark chip area was debris free. I walked over and double checked the area. (even though I'd checked carefully the first time)
I went back to my coffee and called to my nephew, "Having a good time? Let me know if you want to take anything else off" and ignored the tut-tutting from the "mother police" on my left....
I mentioned this incident to a few mothers and they all said roughly the same thing, "Oh, a martyr! - "some women think they are the best mothers in the world and live to judge" - these women love to put down and criticize fellow mothers, they build themselves up by tearing down everyone else - so you can imagine their attitude when it comes to the CF - "martyr overload".
So, rest assured these women give everyone a hard time - no balance and definitely, no sense of humour.

"Having a good time? Let me know if you want to take anything else off" and ignored the tut-tutting from the "mother police" on my left...."

HAHAHAHA that is a funny story. I am a mom (not like that one) and I know plenty of martyrs! You dealt with that one perfectly! My Aunt is a martyr I have a quick story - It was summer near 90 degrees and we were at a party. My daughter was about 4 mos old and I had not put socks and shoes on her because it was too hot. Don't you know the first thing my aunt said was "No shoes or socks tsk tsk" My reaction was "Are you kidding, it's 90 degrees and she's 4 mos old, where is she walking to!" lol your story reminded me of that one.

Thanks for giving me a laugh today.

""My reaction was "Are you kidding, it's 90 degrees and she's 4 mos old, where is she walking to!" lol your story reminded me of that one.

Thanks for giving me a laugh today."

And thanks Sue for giving ME one!! That was a good comeback and funny too! I just kinda got a "picture" of a baby suddenly jumping out and striding off into the sunset!!!

I have a great-aunt like that. She threw a fit because my parents had the audacity to "let" me be left handed. In my infancy, I always reached for things that were put in front of me with my left hand and she was shocked that my parents didn't smack that hand until I used the other one. My parents let nature take it's course... even though there were no other left handed people in the family to help them teach me how to write and tie my shoes. They muddled through.

That same over-controlling great-aunt had one son. He lived at home well into his thirties, has the social skills of an untrained rodent, and eventually embarrassed the @#$% out of his mother by coming out!

I can't help but snicker. Mrs. Perfect Martyr Mom never expected to lose her battle against individuality!

Blah, blah, blah, nag, blah , martyr, nag, blah, thats all i heard.

Anyone who would get offended if I said I didn't like their child, is coocoo for cocoa puffs. Just so you know..its entirely possible, that you raised a little $hit. We've all seen em, there crazy, they do crazy things, we always think of stories of the antichrist.

The point is, just because a person happens to be a child, does not mean I should like them. Children are ussually the embodiment of innocence and happiness, so they are most often very easy to like. But not all. No one complains when I don't like an adult, but suddenly I'm on the rocks because that same attitude is directed at a child?

Skeeter

Um, Myra ... I am ALSO left-handed! Now this is getting creeeeepy!

That was a crazy story myrabeth (I'm another lefty). My grandfather was prevented from using his left when he was a kid...I think they strapped it down. His handwriting was very messed up. It's the stupidest idea ever to try and change people. I would surely be burning on a cross if I was alive 100 yrs ago (no children AND a lefty). That is just so whacked of your great-aunt. It's surprising because you're so young. I thought it had ended long before we were alive. My elders all seemed okay with it, and I'm 38.

Any other lefties ambidextrous? The other day I was painting Christmas ornaments and then I realized halfway through that I was painting with my right hand ...

Not me! I can't even feed myself with my right hand! (As I discovered one night when I burned my left index finger while cooking and had to try to use a fork with my right hand while my left was on ice. I'd starve to death if I had to do that all the time!)

My mom is a mixed-up lefty. She writes with her left hand, but throws right-handed! My dad is totally left handed. My brother and I both are right-handed. Is that weird or what???

Cindy