BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Choosing Self-Love

Freebubbles:
You say the same things I say about myself - boundary issues, fear of abandonment, etc. I also have stopped caring as much as I used to about what others think.

Hi Holly:
Yes I find that I am uncomfortable saying nice things about myself!
I suppose I don't feel entitled to it.

Okay Holly....... I know you wouldn't let me get out of this one.......

1. I know people can count on me for love & support;
2. I take great care of my family, friends, and pets;
3. I am good at crafts.

:O)

No, I have not told her to change directions. It is a good ideal though.I have a problem telling others what I need, but I will bring it up at our next session

Don't hesitate to do that - she won't be insulted. And if she doesn't follow through with want you want, there are plenty others around.
How often do you go? Let me know. It interests me because I am recently new to therapy and like hearing about others experiences with it.

Hi Billiecat,
I usually go once a week depending on my work schedule. I just started maybe 3 months ago. I stopped going for a while because I did not think it helped. But I am giving it another try.

Starr - did your therapist express concern that you felt it wasn't working? Has she discussed this with you in the session?

No I did not express my concerns, but I will on my next appt.

Hi Billie,

Good Topic!

I like to say "Before your cup can 'runneth over', you've got to fill your own cup!"

There is a fine line between selfishness and martyrdom. What I mean is, some folks that put others ahead of themselves, are really doing it for selfish reasons. Ever notice how some (not all) folks that put others first, are constantly boasting about it, or whining that nobody does it for them? They're giving for the wrong reasons.

When you truly love and take care of yourself, you can give truly selflessly, because you're not expecting something back. You give for the joy of it when you need nothing from those you give to.

That's "Agape," the highest form of love.

There are so many negative associations with the word or prefix "self." It's often hard for people to work through that to get to know the value in loving themselves.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now!

To answer your question: I choose to love myself when I don't allow another to devalue me.

They are allowed to have their opinion, but I do not have to take that as true for my definition of self.

Remember, you are paying him. That gives you the right to ask him to help you work on the objectives you set. Most therapists are good at what they do, but each person has to find a therapist that can best help them, and sometimes it clicks and sometimes it just doesn't click, ya know? It's up to you of course to decide what you should do, but if it were me, i'd either tell him he has to get with the program and give him just a couple more sessions to turn it around or i'd start looking for another therapist immediately. I just think it's a lot of money and time to waste on someone who isn't helping you with the thing you are really asking for help with, now isn't it? If you called in a plumber to fix your backed up toilet and they fixed the sink instead and you could have done that yourself... would you keep him?