BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Teenagers

I can relate to what FeeBeeGeeBee said above. Part of what kept me out of trouble when I was a teen was being Catholic, and I am grateful for that. But it doesn't make sense to me anymore, and I'm not religious anymore. I still believe in God, but's a very different kind of thing than what I was taught as a Catholic. It has more to do with nature. Now I know I can just do the right thing just because. But it's hard to be that strong as a teenager. There is so much peer pressure, and I sympathize with teenagers as well as their parents. It's so hard to be a teenager.

I wasn't THAT bad as a teen. BUT I DID skip some classes and I used to shoplift. (Returned everything though.) And would sometimes argue with my folks.

Now my BROTHER was a DIFFERENT story! From about 15 to about 23 he was a NIGHTMARE to live with - in fact they kicked him out at 20. He became a father at 20 by the way but the girl kept the baby and denied him any custody for a while.
He used to be an alcoholic and drug user - including hard drugs. He jumped off the roof of something once and broke his arm while drunk. Another time the hospital thought he had gout! And within five minutes of him being back in the house, there would be a shouting row with him and my folks. He told dad once "I hope you have a horrible father's day. I HATE you dad." and he a few times called mum a [censored] to her face! And like I've said he smashed her perfume bottles against their bedroom door and screamed at her once when she wouldn't listen to his [censored] and shut and locked the door!
But the WORST was when he slashed his wrists in front of our faces one night. He got angry cos of the custody thing and cos his then (different from baby mum) girlfriend couldn't stay the night. So after slaming himself into the wall and screaming, that's what he did with a kitchen knife.
It was the most horrible night of my LIFE!
And it took me a while to really get over.
I'm sure it was no picnic for my parents either!
Well, he didn't die and I don't think if it was a suicide attempt he would have gone so public when we could have stopped him.
Later on he gave up the cigarettes, drugs, alcohol and lots of sex and became a religious fundy because he tripped on acid one night and thought that he saw a vision of God!
Ironically the time he tripped on acid BEFORE that he had a hallucination that his friend's head was off his body and following him!
He knew - later on - that THAT wasn't real, so how come he believed the God thing HAD to be?
The fundy stage is better than the drug addict, out of control alcoholic.
Still, it has its bad points. He pickets gay days, told me he believes anyone who is not a "born-again" Christian is evil!! and when I was leaving after seeing him for the first time in over two years he didn't say "Bye, love you, nice seeing you" but rather "If your plane crashes tonight do you know where you'll go?"
And if all THAT'S not bad enough, he and his wife apparently don't believe in birth control for religious reasons!!
So, his antics combined with stories every second day lately about teenagers killing people in the UK where I live, I am NOT so keen on the idea of being a mother to a teenager EVER!!
I started thinking about being childfree BEFORE my brother went like he did but
I think he was the "final nail in the coffin" so to speak!
I saw what mum went through and thought HELL NO!! I am NOT dealing with THAT [censored] if I don't have to!!!!!!!

Oh Angela, I am laughing so hard at that one. The funniest thing is - I can RELATE. I was working from home yesterday and my cat has now this cutest habit of sitting beside my chair and reaching out with her front paw to tap my leg when she wants attention. Except yesterday she did it ALL DAY LONG. No matter how many pats I gave her, she still wanted more...

It's true, Feebee -- even though she's the cutest cat I've ever had, she can really grind on my nerves sometimes. That's one of the big reasons I know I shouldn't have kids. She'll start meowing at me the second I walk through the door, and I kinda like that -- she's telling me she's happy I'm finally home. Makes me feel good. So I pet her, talk to her, give her a treat, etc. If she meows, and I answer, she'll keep talking -- too cute! But then I get bored after a while, talking to a cat (ya THINK?!?), and she keeps talking. She'll follow me from room to room, getting louder and louder, as if she's concerned why the exchange so abruptly became one-sided. It's not long after that when I'll finally let out an exasperated, "SHUUUT UUUP!" and she becomes bionic in speed, darting under the bed. Then I always feel bad, but every single time, I'm reminded that it was only a 15-minute ordeal, and it was even kinda cute when it started. Imagine me and my patience level with a whiner, a screamer, a chatterer with mind-numbing questions like "What would happen if I put this Lego up my nose?" They'd have to muzzle me, take me away in a straight jacket and put me in a rubber room. I'd go nuckin' futs.

I know we've bonded over this before, butI can't tell you how much this sounds like my sister. It has literally been going on for over ten years, since she was 16. It's like her personality *completely* changed at that age, and she hasn't returned. I guess it's the drugs, or just a lack of caring about anyone besides herself.

I feel like I can say this anytime someone asks me why I don't have kids. I can say, "have you met my sister???" I was planning on being CF anyway, but there are constant, *daily* reminders of how much my sister, at 27, is still torturing my parents. It's absolutely awful. I feel like I've suffered enough just being a member of this family. And I would just like to enjoy the rest of my days. I am *so* glad fiance and I are moving to Florida, because I can get some distance between myself and my family. It's just too much to bear.

My sister also had a baby at 20, and was on drugs at the time. Lovely. I know she smoked pot when she was pregnant, and we know for sure she was still doing Ecstacy after the baby was born. She was probably doing it while she was pregnant.

My parents are in a custody battle with her. They did a hair follicle test a month or two ago, and she tested positive for coke. But the judge, amazingly, is giving her three months to get her act together. The judge told her she has to be clean, and emphasized no drinking or drugs for three months. If she doesn't get caught again during those three months, they are going to give my nephew back to her. My parents set up a random test for her today, and she called them freaking out. They are out of town for a few days, and they just can't escape her. It's crazymaking, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Society is really too forgiving when it comes to teenagers these days. I mean, a little more than 100 years ago, teenagers had more expected from them. They were usually wed and having children of their own. Taking care of the family farm/business, etc. More responsibility. A kid back in the 1800s had to learn how to survive on his own from an early age and take care of things himself. You had exceptions to the rule of course, but society was more strict. Kids didn't have the luxury they do today to sulk in their rooms and [censored] about how unfair the world is to them and their lazy, upper class lifestyle and write bad emo poetry. Today, kids can put off responsibility for years or just never be pressured to grow up at all. I get sick of hearing in the news how teenagers act the way they do because portions of their brains haven't developed the ability to reason properly yet, so give them a break when they act like assholes. Yeah right, that's the whole problem. Give them an inch, of course they're going to take a mile. *rolls eyes*